To ask for specific gifts?

[sueH1983]

The past few years, we have had such a lot of waste at Christmas. Our boys are so lucky in that we have big families on both sides, but I am starting to feel uncomfortable over the amount of presents they get for Christmas and birthdays. Inspired by the amount of toys I have just given to charity, some of which were never played with, this year I think I would rather my boys were given either trips out, money or specific things they have asked for. I was thinking of making them both a Christmas list. I've used Things to Get Me ( www.thingstogetme.com/ ) in the past for my birthday, and have done the same for the boys to share with family, but am now doubting myself and worrying that people might find it rude. So, what do you think? Is it unreasonable to ask family members to buy gifts from a list? (A lot of them ask me what to buy them so I was thinking I could send a link when they ask!)

Of course YANBU - you've already said that people ask you.
We've done a 'wish list' for years.

We even managed to persuade MiL to get us a season ticket to somewhere for the whole family rather than sacks of 'physical' presents.

I LOVE a list for my dns - I'm a bit out of touch now with what small boys are in to, and even if I knew, I don't know which things they already have, so just LOVE it when my Sil and BiL let us have their wishlists when we ask.

Means no money is wasted. No-one is disappointed on Christmas day (or birthdays) and I don't have to spend hours trailing round shops and then worrying if what I get is 'right' or not.

Having a list is great but more as sudgestions don't be offended if they don't stick to it.

I’d love a list, especially once they get a bit older and develop specific tastes. I’d probably only offer the list if people asked though. My ex’s parents used to buy things because they were huge - sandpits, Wendy houses etc. and although there was great excitement opening them they were rarely played with after the first day.

I have grandchildren and I just ask
I tell them my budget and ask what suits
This works brilliantly [santa]

Whoops I ask the parents

Yes, good tip- I don’t mind if they don’t really stick to it but hopefully it’ll guide their ideas a bit!

If they ask, I think it's fine. Our family always asked what to get the kids or now just give them money. If they don't ask then I think some people might think it's a bit cheeky.

Well that’s ideal! I’ll be giving the list links to anyone who asks.

I’m toying with either National Trust membership or money towards a new tent for the whole family this year. Would get so much more use out of either of those things than we would out of toys. :)

TBH I rather give a gift then money. I udeserstand the sentiment of just giving money but for some reason that sounds grabby to me.

I don’t mind giving money if I know what it’s going to. Which is why I’d like to tell people it’s going to a bell tent. You can set up a gift fund on Things To Get Me so i’ll do that.

My family always used a wish list for Christmas presents. These were (and still are!) presented to DM at the end of November so anyone needing inspiration can check with her for ideas for a gift that’ll actually be appreciated. I’ve badgered my nieces and nephew for years to get wish lists as I genuinely have no clue what they’re into and don’t keep up with the latest fads. Just make sure that it’s clear it’s a wish list not a list of demands. Be prepared for people to choose something not on the list if they prefer to make their own selection.