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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder about this?

4 replies

OnlyConnected · 17/09/2019 21:56

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 months, we kind of work together he does full time, I do one day in the same office so know the same people from work that he does. He asked me about 3 months in if I minded people at work knowing about us and I said I didn’t.

There’s one man who works there he’s particularly close too, he’s given him lifts outside of work, they text occasionally etc but my bf has never mentioned to him about us.

AIBU to find this a bit odd? I don’t expect him to make a big announcement and understand wanting to keep work and personal life separate but just find it a bit odd that he’s never mentioned in passing that we’ve been out to see a film or plans for the weekend that we’ve had to him since he’s more friendly with him. I’m starting to feel like hes maybe not wanting to mention it because he doesn’t see us as being serious and is keeping his options open so wouldn’t want people asking if things changed between us.

Am I overthinking or would you expect someone to talk about their gf to work friends they spend a lot of time with?

OP posts:
OnlyConnected · 18/09/2019 10:43

Anyone?

I’m wondering if some concerns I’m starting to have are due to my overthinking or something more.

OP posts:
SpoonBlender · 18/09/2019 11:00

Sounds like overthinking to me. Five months in, telling folks "we're knocking boots!" isn't really top of mind for anyone, particularly at work rather than friends. After that long you just assume anyone who cares will already know.

dollydaydream114 · 18/09/2019 11:14

Why are you so hung up on him mentioning/not mentioning it just to this one colleague? How do you even know if it's been mentioned or not? Lifts and 'the occasional text' doesn't sound 'particularly close' to me; this is just some bloke from work.

Do his family and friends know about you? That's all that matters.

OnlyConnected · 18/09/2019 11:26

Ok thanks seems I’m overthinking things. I just thought he would have mentioned it to him because they are more friendly, spend a lot of time one on one together during work and have some contact outside of work so thought it would naturally have come up in conversation sometime so he was deliberately not saying anything if it hasn’t.

I’ve met his family. He said his friend has been asking to meet me but nothing has been set up yet so I’m not sure if he’s delaying that too.

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