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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that dcs school is totally inappropriate

137 replies

Lillyrosey · 17/09/2019 21:22

AIBU to think that's my kids school is completely an utterly inappropriate and unprofessional in assuming I will get information about dressing up days, phonics sessions times and other important information that I need to know for my kids to settle into school nicely!??

So there have been a couple of things that I have missed sincd children have been back to school and I was quite upset over one in particular Tha was my daughter's first phonics session with parents. Now I check the newsletter and my emails all the time. It wasn't on it at all.
Then there is a fancy dress thing this Thursday my son has announced to me to which I reply well no there's no fancy dress thing as I haven't been informed! Double check the newsletter yet again nope nothing on there.
I couldn't work out what I was missing??! Nows the time to add that I do not do social media.
I Merion this morning to my daughters teaching assistant how gutted I was to miss her phonics session and she turns to me and said well then you should of been checking our facebook and Twitter sites. But I'm not on Facebook or Twitter I reply. I suggest you join she replys and walks off!!
I left the school raging to say the least but didn't show it to kids.
Drive off and thing hang on a minute it surely is the school's job to inform parents of important things through the school newsletter? And not bloody Facebook!
I'm going to phone to school tomorrow as Im not dropping kids in the morning. I just want to check your opinions before I phone up about this

OP posts:
Pikapikachooo · 18/09/2019 07:42

I had this when there was a WhatsApp I wasn’t on

May I strongly suggest you approach school
Calmly and not as angrily as this post !

I can see your annoyance and it’s slightly
Strange

But stay calm and get the low down

Justgivemesomepeace · 18/09/2019 07:51

I hate that schools assume parents have access to social media/ internet. Parents I know have crappy old phones with broken screens, no money to put credit on pay n go phones etc. I also don't use Twitter and don't bother with Facebook.
Our school doesn't even send letters. It's all on the school website.
I used to like the letters. I'd stick them on my fridge so I didnt forget.
I don't have time to check the school website constantly.

Ilovewillow · 18/09/2019 07:56

Our school has a Facebook page and our yr group has a parent led Facebook group but I wouldn't expect this to be the main means of communication or expect those who don't want to use it to be left out! Our school also sends out newsletters via Scopay with all the important dates in amongst other things. Following on from parent feedback we also get a list in September of all dates for the yr including non-uniform days, sports days, Xmas performances etc (these sometimes change) to allow everyone to plan and book time of if necessary. I would be suggesting other means of communication with school, I'm sure you're not the only one this effects.

LIZS · 18/09/2019 08:11

You need to calmly ask the school office what alternative forms of notification they use. We used to get a text/email if there were late announcements or changes to arrangements ( ie. Trip return times) for example, notices and newsletters were available via a secure area on the website, Classlist and parentmail are popular. It seems unusual to have sm as the only form of communication. Is the fb page visible without registering? You may have valid reason for not using sm , and I doubt you are the only family, but you need to address this without the anger and hysteria. Check what other schools locally use and make alternative suggestions.

WhoCaresWins01 · 18/09/2019 08:12

My dc school is brilliant at communication since they have started using an app called Class Dojo - all newsletters, events and important information is sent that way. We can even privately message the head, class teacher and office.
Most parents have signed up and are very happy with it. Those not signed up get text messages/paper letters.

DuckWillow · 18/09/2019 08:13

YANBU

I’m the first in defending schools usually but this is a strange way of going about things.

A newsletter....even an electronic one should list specific days.

My son used to occasionally get a note added to his bag with impromptu stuff but everything else went in the newsletter.

Waveysnail · 18/09/2019 08:16

Just look at schools Twitter feed daily. You dont need to join

Waveysnail · 18/09/2019 08:17

Btw our school uses 'seesaw' for communications and twitter

StoorieHoose · 18/09/2019 08:22

Texts cost money. Printed newsletters cost money. Schools don't have spare money. Schools use free platforms like Twitter.

You don't even have to join twitter to view their feed. Stick it on your phone as a favourite and look at it every couple of days. It's not hard or worth the stress the OP is having

GetUpAgain · 18/09/2019 08:32

A newsletter should contain all the news that parents need.

Social media feeds should be more for 'class 5 has had a great day learning fun fractions' with a picture of the back of a childs head and a chopped up pizza.

The school sounds dreadful at comms.

ThePhoenixRises · 18/09/2019 08:36

ChocolateBread

Google “schoolname Twitter” Look at their twitter feed, Update your diary accordingly, Repeat daily

No need for a Twitter account

Perfect solution

TrickyKid · 18/09/2019 08:37

Yanbu don't they use parent view or similar you get email notifications re dress up days etc? And isn't the info on the website calendar? They don't sound very organised.

Sheitgeist · 18/09/2019 08:47

Texts cost money. Printed newsletters cost money

Email costs nothing. Schools should email newsletters and reminders to parents.

MoodLighting · 18/09/2019 09:02

Yanbu, my kids school make sure that social media is for extra stuff only e.g. reports about what they've been doing rather than any official announcements which come via letter

Proseccoinamug · 18/09/2019 09:19

How can it be a security risk if you don’t use your real name, set it to private and only ‘friend’ the school?
Absolutely nobody can then see that you’re on there but you will see updates from school. That’s not ‘putting yourself out there’ in social media.

You absolutely can use a fake name. If the school’s group is set to private then it’s likely the joint request is set up to ask whose parent you are. If there’s an issue they will message you to ask. This really isn’t as complicated as you’re making it out to be.

You don’t have to keep checking all day either. Set it up to send you a notification when the school posts something.

You’re going to encounter problems if you don’t do this, with extra curricular clubs etc.

By all means speak to the school but it won’t end your problems.

JassyRadlett · 18/09/2019 09:33

How can it be a security risk if you don’t use your real name, set it to private and only ‘friend’ the school?

Because if it’s set up as a private group an admin needs to approve you.

OP has already said she wouldn’t be approved to join if she used a fake name.

Proseccoinamug · 18/09/2019 09:39

Of course she would jassyradlett if she told the school.
There’s no way that every parent on that page uses their full, real name. How do the school even know the name of every child’s parent without checking school records? I can guarantee they won’t do that every time they accept a Fb request

newnametocomplain · 18/09/2019 09:45

I’d just make a Facebook. Seems like the simple option. Not a big deal.

GreenyEye · 18/09/2019 10:03

having an anonymous twitter account is much more sensible than an anonymous FB one, and easier to maintain.. IF the school insist its the only way they will notify you.

However, if you have real safety reasons that have had the police involved in the past, then I can see why it would be a problem, and the school ought to be understanding and help you.

CoinOperatedBoy · 18/09/2019 10:05

Teaching assistant was V rude. I don't use social media either, I can't stand it - on mine it was just people bragging/competing (who has the best life/is the best parent/works the hardest) or moaning/competing (who has it toughest). As soon as I came off it I felt like I had a new life!

IMO social does a lot more harm than good.

My boys school has just switched to "School Gateway" they had us believing most schools use this now. I get constant messages and updates (for example my 7 year old has an activity day in the wood, den building, survival stuff etc today and I got a message yesterday reminding us, and asking for "outdoorsy clothes"); they send all payment requests for trips through it, and I can easily book the care clubs, Pay for Nursery, dinners, milk, and order any uniform, which they then just give to the child. I think it's great.

Maybe you should suggest it in a, you know, kind and friendly manner, to the teaching assistant.

crushingonpacey · 18/09/2019 10:13

I completely agree with the OP. I have and use social media all the time but the OP shouldn't have to if she doesn't want to. What is wrong with emailing out a list of important upcoming dates to all parents?

Definitely phone in OP...I would be raging!!

LolaSmiles · 18/09/2019 10:19

Texts cost money. Printed newsletters cost money. Schools don't have spare money. Schools use free platforms like Twitter.
They shouldn't be using social media as a main way to communicate with parents. It's exactly that sort of thing that entrenches educational inequality.

Can you imagine "yeah sorry that X didn't get their intervention done properly today because you didn't come in... You really should have been psychic and known to check a social media page you don't use to find updates... Oh you don't have a phone because you're actually relying on the library for internet access because you're having to choose between heating and feeding your kids. Tough luck then. I guess your child misses out"

That's the reality for some families.

"You didn't want to use social media for privacy concerns due to an abusive ex and parent admins therefore couldn't approve you to the private parents group where information is shared second hand from social media platforms... Oh well, guess you should be more careful who you have as an ex because it's totally reasonable to expect school information from other parents instead of the school".

Again. That's the reality for some families.

Schools have an obligation to inform parents of key dates in a clear and accessible way (Eg my school has a comms system and letters for those who don't sign up to the electronic system, and if we are in doubt with our PP then paper letters go as well or direct contact to carers for children in care).

Children's education should not suffer based on their parents using or not using social media.

Brefugee · 18/09/2019 10:19

In a country that rejects ID cards as too intrusive I'm surprised to see so many people here saying that sure you should register for social media.

I'd be rejecting that out of hand, even though I'm an avid user of SM.

SVRT19674 · 18/09/2019 10:21

I joined instagram yesterday only for my daughter's nursery, this is the 21st century, leave the 20th darling.

LolaSmiles · 18/09/2019 10:41

SVRT19674
Good for you.
I'm sure many parents like social media updates. It's good school do them.

Social media isn't an appropriate platform for main official school communication.