Hi
I'm really after some advise.
My fiancé is divorced with 3 children. I'm separated with 2. His ex wife is high conflict and we've had some many issues over the past 2 years. She's currently pregnant with her new partner. We've been together 2.5 years. Me and my ex are shared custody of my children and he was his sons 2nights then 4 the following week and his daughter for dinner 1 night and then the following weekend.
All the conflict is taking its toll on me and I'm just wondering if I'm being unreasonable.
Just to a few things that have happened. She's lied about my partner wanting her back, she's dropped the kids off to me saying his told her I'd have them while she goes out, she's been in the house and took photos and gone through our things while his 14 year old was home alone, she claimed my engagement ring was hers - it's not. She's said on many occasions we don't feed the kids and we do they're well fed, she will find any excuse to contact my partner, she says he only uses me. She reported my partner to cms for not paying when he'd actually over paid! I was in bed once ill and didn't hear the door and apparently I was ignoring the door to stop their children coming. It wasn't even our weekend so I was not expecting them. We went to Mexico just me and him and the few days before we went his daughter who was 3 at the time was not herself and we said take her to doctor because we thought she had a water infection but she didn't which was odd because normally she's at the doctors with them for a cough because it's something to contact him over, and literally on our 3rd day she took her to hospital with a water infection and sent my partner photos of her in hospital which she later let slip looked worse then they were and she was actually running around happy after....I could go on with so much more.
We've had the children more nights to help her as she was struggling with them and it was ruining her relationship. We've taken the kids aboard, we buy them clothes and do things with them and she receives maintenance so we're doing our part but it's still never enough. If there's a way of twisting something she will do it.
It all seems to go around in circles, there will be fall out and after fall out and then she seems to want to be civil when she wants something and then before we know it there's more drama.
I've asked my partner to take a step back which we've done before and reduce contact and put firm boundaries in place because it's pattern and any communication good or bad just seems to fuel her behaviour and before when he did life was so much easier but he says he can't because it's too hard and she won't stick to it.
Am I being unreasonable asking to to move more towards parallel parenting?