Cafcass

[SiempreDot]

This has probably been done to death but I really need some positive stories about cafcass not being the be all and end all in family court.

I'm filled in a CA1 form as part of court proceedings and detailed harassment, bombarding me with hand delivered letters lurking outside my house, taking DS without consent and not giving him back, telling DS i don't want him. I had my Cafcass phone call today. I wasn't expecting her to pander to me and say how terrible he is, I just expected to be listened to and my account noted.

Instead, she met every concern I raised by countering it with my ex partner's response in a way that went well beyond just encouraging me to self reflect. It got to the point where everything I said was met with an objection that wasn't even your 'ex partner said xyz' but almost posing it as her own opinions. I don't think this was fair at all, not least because she'd spoke to him first so there was no way she could have done the same thing.

When I raised the harassment and stalking she said 'people don't change at that age so you'll just have to accept it'. The only time she expressed any kind of outrage was when I said I occasionally breastfeed when my son (aged just turned 3) is anxious after separation and she told me this is completely inappropriate and unacceptable parenting.

I feel completely despondent know like what's the point of laws and training on subtle forms of abuse when it doesn't matter if people just ignore it or tell you to just accept it. Anyone had any experience of this? Can barristers cut through these assumptions in court? Could I complain? What's best to do?

Thanks

I’m so sorry. Can you ask for an alternative officer?

With regard to feeding. If my 3 year old gets upset it’s the first thing she wants, and the WHO actually advise breastfeeding to “at least “ 2, beyond is preferable

Do you have a solicitor?

Cafcass are awful and seem to think any father is better than no father regardless.
They put in their statement that contact should start asap for my 5yo and his dad, starting in a contact centre if needed but quickly working up to overnight visits.

I got full custody. My ex and his entire family aren’t allowed to contact me or ds at all, not even birthday cards.
Speak to your solicitor and let her/him know you’re not happy. My solicitor didn’t care for cafcass at all and basically said ignore everything they say.

You need to join fb group mothers unite against domestic abuse
There’s a big rally on October 26 parliament square London at noon
Speakers, mums who’ve had to allow contact with abusive fathers
Good mothers who’ve lost their children to abusive fathers
Etc

Coaches are going from strategic areas

Sorry Op other than the breastfeeding that was my experience of Cafcass too .
Even to the point of me telling them that my ex husband had hit my then boyfriend whilst holding my 6 yr old daughter ( XH and me had been split 3 yrs at this point and I'd been with boyfriend a year. XH was refusing to give DD back on my weekend with her )
Cafcass actually said XH denied hitting him because he was 'a boxing champion back in Egypt and would have knocked him out if he'd hit him'

How can you fight against that

Another one against cafcass here. They are shocking. Unfortunately I have had to submit more court papers after it all ending last year and I am full of dread that trying to do the right thing will only lead to bad, it’s horrendous

After 4 years and 4 different Cafcass officers, the senior one at the final hearing admitted he had based his entire final report on information gained from my exh.
Hope the bastard lost his job.
Exh got zero contact with MY dc.
50 /50 with joint dc but when dc hit teens they went nc with him...
Do not accept this op.
Speak to your solicitor ASAP.

Thanks everyone. I'm kind of glad it's not just me but it also says something so fundamental about Cafcass and their assumptions which I think are often lazy and probably quite misogynist really.

With the breastfeeding thing, I was really taken aback by it. Its a personal choice and all the evidence says that whilst it might not be of nutritional value anymore, it can certainly make children feel more secure and emotionally provided for. I just like this was her own judgement about breastfeeding which isn't her role.

And I just can't accept her stance that you just have to put up with this and move on. There seems to be an acceptance that a parent can be abusive and a good parent and if he's not physically violent towards the child, there's no harm done

My DD had a similar experience to you.

In Court, though, the Judge wiped the floor with the ex.

He still doesn't get unsupervised access.

I threw one of them out of my house and reported her!
Hope she was sacked also!

I have an experience where judge completely went against cafcass recommendation as they had done a shit job and not even read the evidence from the fact finding hearing.

At this stage the phone interview is just to gain information from both parties and provide initial advice to the court based on what both parents have said. If you’ve raised allegations of domestic abuse, this should be reflected within the initial letter and advice. They don’t do any thorough assessment or recommendations at this early stage.

Whenever you get anything written down from them highlight errors /lies /and see your solicitor - do not accept things that aren't factual.
Keep a diary of calls etc.

Bear in mind that the initial Cafcass work prior to the first hearing simply reports what each parent has said, and doesn’t ascribe truth to it, it’s the court’s job to make determinations if there are contested allegations.

The best thing Cafcass ever did for me and my children was hold their hands up saying they couldn’t deal with our shit and refer our family to social services. For context, my ex is a rapist and abusive in many other ways too. At the time, I was terrified of even seeing him in person let alone letting him near the children. The bloke on the phone gave up on me in the end saying he couldn’t speak to me when I was in such a state. But until that point he was an utter prick. I have heard similar stories to this and to your own OP and have the utmost sympathy.

Have you reported your ex’s harassment? Is there a record of it anywhere? If you haven’t had legal advice I think it would be massively beneficial if you do.

Me and DD ended up in a refuge yet the first officer I had was sympathetic to my ex (who wasn't even DD's biological father, and she was terrified of him). She claimed he was 'depressed' and denied everything and said I'd only pretended he was abusive. At the first court hearing the judge wiped the floor with her and we were assigned a different officer. She interviewed DD who was seven at the time and made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him. She decided that there should be no contact whatsoever and when she told the ex, he immediately dropped the sweetness and light act and became abusive. He didn't even bother turning up to court for the hearing and we never heard anything from him again.

It was incredibly stressful at first though, especially for poor DD who had been through enough already. I really feel for you OP. Is there any way you can request a different officer?

Good luck

Cafcass are an Absolute shower of shits!! They will choose a side and are completely biased. My friend had a very bad experience with them. She requested another cafcass representative but he was the only one in her area, so was stuck with him. He took the other parents word as truth, didn't ask my friend for her side. He put information in his report that was untrue and even built up a friendship with the other parent, contacting him after he had made his report and joking with him whilst waiting for court. Definitely not impartial!!

I had to have dna tests and the Cafcass officer told exh the time /place of the appointment!

@SiempreDot there is huge nutritional value. Just like an apple is as good for a 5 year old as a 1 year old. Your milk still contains a colossal amount of goodness and studies have proven that toddlers still drinking it have far fewer illnesses and that mothers milk continues to adapt to a child’s nutritional needs in toddlerhood as it does through infancy thanks to the backwash.

Do not tell yourself that what you’re doing it’s not really beneficial to you both.

Please get a good solicitor.

She claimed he was 'depressed' and denied everything and said I'd only pretended he was abusive. At the first court hearing the judge wiped the floor with her and we were assigned a different officer.

It’s the duty officers role at the first hearing to report on the party’s positions and make initial recommendations. So she would tell the judge what your ex had said. It sounds like she also recommended a full S7 report (often then allocated to a different officer) where things were fully assessed.

This is normal procedure.

Cafcass are not fit for purpose!!!

Firstly breastfeeding is totally natural! I breastfed my child until they were 4, it's one of the best things you can do if you can breastfeed and the WHO recommend it.

So my ex partner and I broke up 7 years ago due to domestic violence and he didn't see our child for 5 years his choice.
Then he decided to take me to court they gave him weekends, every contact he would verbally abuse me Infront of our child and return the child in the same clothes and underwear from two days before unwashed, unbrushed and our child hadn't been fed properly our child would come back crying and ravenous because they were hungry and knew they smelt. Cafcass said this was parenting style differences and I wanted everything to be perfect.

and then last year he verbally abused me in our city centre dragged our child off and nearly broke their arm as they were clung to me for dear life the arm ended up swollen and bruised. I then stopped contact my child went on to have night terrors and bed wetting for months
I have GP and police as evidence.

Cafcass have taken no notice of this, they have called me an alienator and have stated I'm emotionally abusing our child. The judge told my ex that he could send our child a present and a card to say sorry for hurting them! There was nothing else said and I was ordered not to bring it up again

He had court ordered contact centre visits in which our child screamed and cried for the sessions every single time, cafcass covered this up and said our child was happy to spend time with him and was laughing and giggling that it was me screaming and telling her to cry.

I wasn't allowed to use my recording of our child screaming at the contact centre telling him to stay away in court as cafcass didn't want it used and said I'd told child to act that way, I wasn't in the room at all.

Court ordered yet more contact centre sessions that cafcass were supposed to arrange but they didn't this was back in July, I'm due back in court soon where I will get the blame for not enforcing the order, I have already been threatened with prison child removal or community service hours.

Family court and cafcass are allowing my ex to be in our child's life after he abused them, neither of them are fit for purpose. And with lack of legal aid many people are going through this.

@FenellaVelour is it also normal procedure for a non biological parent with a history of violence (arrests etc) to be allowed to bring such a case? Even though the child had said she didn't want to see him? Genuine question, as you seem to be quite knowledgeable on the process. I've always wondered why he was allowed to take it so far.

If the parent had no legal PR, then they’d have to apply to the court for permission to make an application for contact.

Anyone with legal PR can make an application unless there is a barring order against them. In this case, they’d be interviewed by Cafcass and their views recorded in the initial Cafcass letter to court. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’d get far with the actual application.

My new partner ( dad ) had an amazing cafcass officer who saw through all the mothers controlling micromanaging behaviour, false allegations and attempts to frustrate him seeing his children. Thats because she put all the emphasis on her and her feelings and not on whats best for the children and if seeing him would not be in their welfare. The court also saw through her too. Ive had professional dealings with Cafcass and by and large they have been very fair.

My new partner ( dad ) had an amazing cafcass officer

That’s because cafcass are completely biased in the dads favour.