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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To inflict this punishment on my four year old?

44 replies

EscapeFrom · 10/08/2007 12:54

he has covered my entire living room floor with blue wax crayon. SO I made him clean it all up with a babywipre, and made him put the blue crayon in the dustbin..

He has had prior warning about drawing on things - if I catch him drawing on things that are not paper then I make him put the offending medium in the bin

However now I feel really guilty. He is VERY upset.

OP posts:

kyala · 10/08/2007 13:48

I do the same with DD and she's only 2, if she makes a mess she knows she has to clean it up (she's spending this afternoon picking up bits of sausage that she's been spitting on the floor LOL Now my house smells of sausages but at least she knows that if she picks it up she's doing good)

If he's still really upset in a bit I'd give him a task for a treat, this might help him to realise that if he does good thing then he gets praised etc and bad things get punishments.

mawbroon · 10/08/2007 13:49

I would do the same EscapeFrom, and not replace the crayons or mention the crayons and wait until he asks about them. Then remind him that there are no crayons because last time he had crayons, he drew all over the living room. Then ask him if he is ready to try again with crayons, and spell out that the same will happen again if he draws anywhere other than the paper.

devil · 10/08/2007 13:50

i keep crayons ect in tin, my son or charges only use them when supervised.

Oblomov · 10/08/2007 13:51

Greensleeves, I can't believe you binned a cake. I am making dh's birthday cake as we speak. God, I would never bin it.

maisemor · 10/08/2007 13:52

So we know where we will find you later on tonight GS...rummaging through the bin in the hope that you can find a "clean" piece of cake .

pointydog · 10/08/2007 13:54

oo we are making dd1's birthday cake. What a lot of mumsy cake making

LWandLottie · 10/08/2007 13:57

This will sound so harsh of me but I think you let him of lightly! I would of taken away some toys, or stopped him watching tv for the day, no sweeties for a week etc. Just to ensure that he KNOWS drawing over your living room floor is not acceptable and wont be tolerated.

You did the right thing by making him clean it up himslef and making him bin the crayon. Don't feel guilty for upsetting him after he nearly destroyed your floor lol, he has to learn that he cannot do this. Ah, but it aint easy seeing them upset though. My poor dd is really gonna get when she grows up and starts being naughty!

Cheer up, hopefully now he wont do it again.

AlistairSim · 10/08/2007 13:58

EscapeFrom - would have done the same. Sounds perfectly reasonable and a, hopefully, good learning experience.

Greensleeves - I shall be reporting you to SS cake protection team.

Oblomov · 10/08/2007 13:59

We made cakes this morning aswell. Dh asked for a coffee cake. But ds said no, he needed bob the builder cakes. So I made cupcakes this morning, as bought some of those stick on transfers to go on the top. Ds was delighted with himself and proceeded to scoff many.
I put 3 aside for daddy. When I cam downstairs, a little one had got a step stool, and eaten one out of the tupperware. Daddy only has 2 now !

startouchedtrinity · 10/08/2007 14:08

Only read OP so sorry if things have moved on.

I think getting dcs to help clear up their mess is a positive way of parenting, provided they aren't shamed into doing it. Rather than it being 'punishment' it's a case of 'let's see how we can make this right'. Much better than the wretched naughty step.

elesbells · 10/08/2007 14:18

escape, yanbu, perfect teaching of actions/consequences imo

greeny, totally unreasonable of you to throw good cake in the bin when there are so many mums in desperate need of it

ptangyangkipperbang · 10/08/2007 14:33

Think you are being more than reasonable.

When DS1 was about 6 he wrote on our beautiful leather sofa. If that wasn't bad enough he wrote his little brother's name and said his brother had done it. DS2 hadn't learnt to write ! DS1 missed his Beaver Christmas party! His Beaver leader said it was a shame the punishment I gave him meant he had to miss the party. Once I expained what he'd done she was far more supportive .

orangehead · 10/08/2007 16:13

sounds very fair, I always feel guilty when kids cry atfer shouted or punished

Bonaventura · 10/08/2007 16:15

I think you did well. At least the punishment fitted the crime. Your child now knows the link between the two - make a mess, you clear it up. Perfect fit.

edam · 10/08/2007 16:16

Sounds good to me. If only I'd taken your approach my sofa might not be covered in bloody biro.

Original poster

EscapeFrom · 10/08/2007 16:32

he has lost another crayon, and spent another 10 minutes wailing and cleaning since this last post...

he found one under the sofa cushions, and was industriously colouring in the pushchair.

OP posts:

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House · 10/08/2007 16:45

my dd wrote on my wall once, i took all her crayons off of her for one whole day, shes never done it again! and she has unlimited access to her crayons.....now if i could just get her to stop eating them.......

RubyRioja · 10/08/2007 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HonoriaGlossop · 10/08/2007 18:03

oh my goodness. It's just luck it seems if you get a child who doesn't have the urge to write/draw over everything.

Can you put ALL pens/mark making implements of ANY description in a place that he can't reach/that's locked?

Tell him that crayons etc are for when you're with mum. Not to be done alone, because he has shown you he's not to be trusted on his own yet.

How about wallpapering one wall of his bedroom in that 'frame' wallpaper - have you seen it? There are hundreds of little/big frames for them to fill with their art. I guess that could be a really stupid idea, but it just also might be a good idea if you think he would realise it's his special place to decorate, and the rest of the house is NOT?

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