About dp potential job?

[Sugartits27]

After perspective if possible.

Currently dp and I both work nearly full time. Both our workplaces have flexible policies so we can choose our hours to some extent, work from home and so on. Dp doesn't get on particularly well with his boss but doesn't hate his job.

He has decided to go for a job in another city - at least an hours drive away probably more if you get caught in traffic. I've said I'll support him but I'm a bit peeved about the lack of consideration for me about how this job will eat into our family time and essentially push a lot of the joint chores such as dog walking, school runs, clubs and so on onto me. He applied without telling me thinking he wouldn't get an interview but now he has.

Of course I'll support him if he gets it and I understand that this is the norm for a lot of families but it'll mean giving up a lot of flexibility and family time for us. Aibu to feel a bit annoyed? I've put this point across to him in a diplomatic way and now he seems to be sulking.

I get where you're coming from. I have always talked to my OH before applying for jobs since we have kids. He does the childcare while I am at work so it's something we decide about together.

I would expect my dh to discuss something like that before applying, yes. Presumably it would mean more money, which you could spend on a cleaner to stop so much falling on you?

Have you talked to him about it?

Lol regardless of how much he earns he wouldn't employ a cleaner. It's not that so much, it's more the impact on our family time and the fact he'll be missing stuff with the kids and doesn't seem to care. We'd barely see any extra money with travel costs anyway. It's just that he's suddenly decided he's miserable in his job and wants a change

To update, this resulted in a big row last night. He was upset about my 'lack of support' when all he's doing is trying to make a better life for us. I don't see it that way. We don't need extra money as such, we manage fine. And for me quality of life is being able to spend time as a family. Having him there for dance recitals and rugby matches and so on.

I don't see a good way out of this now because if he withdraws his application he will clearly resent me. If he goes for the job and gets it I'll be pissed off and he'll know it which will also cause issues.

Starting to feel like we don't have the same priorities.

He may as well see the interview through. Does this company have flexible working or could he negotiate that if he were offered a position? It's more and more common these days.