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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School dinners / packed lunch

63 replies

beechblob · 17/09/2019 16:52

Dd just gone into year 3 and is no longer eligible for free school meals.

Dh thinks packed lunches are better value and you know what they are eating.

But, I'm getting fed up of making them already! I find it stressful thinking of what to put in them everyday that is healthy and filling.

I work pt and dh ft with very long hours and he doesn't want to make them anyway so AIBU to just pay for school meals out of our shared account (even though dh says it's wasteful). Dd is not fussy and likes both.

school dinners are £2.50 per day

OP posts:
Chitarra · 17/09/2019 16:53

How about a compromise (if the school lets you do this) - packed lunch twice a week and school dinner three times?

seaweedandmarchingbands · 17/09/2019 16:54

If your DH isn’t willing to share the work of packed lunches (say, if you do 3 days at work and he does 5, he does one lunch a week) then YANBU.

wendz86 · 17/09/2019 16:59

I’m letting my daughter have two school dinners a week and packed lunches 3 days . Saves me having to make them every day and not as expensive .

notso · 17/09/2019 17:00

I hate making packed lunches too so YANBU on that count.

I'd ask your DH how strongly he feels about the dinners, if it's very strongly then he should make the packed lunch.

JetPlanesMeeting · 17/09/2019 17:02

I had a packed lunch meal plan so I didn't have to think about what to put it and you can freeze sandwiches or just bread or "thins."

The lunches I did included soup or hot pasta in a wide neck thermos. We trailed it on a weekend to see how hot the food stayed (warmed the thermos first)

There are a million ideas on Pinterest or YouTube and the lunches we did worked out cheaper than schools. I did have a specific drawer in the fridge for lunch items and one in the cupboard so no-one ate anything meant for a lunch.

For now compromise on the school dinners/packed lunch and then see if you can increase up to 5 days packed lunch.

Littlebelina · 17/09/2019 17:03

We are doing a mix (can book individual days via parent pay). I was all for making him have school dinners ( realised in advance I could not be arsed) but the cost plus DS really really wanting packed lunch led to a compromise.

DonPablo · 17/09/2019 17:04

What does dh have for lunch?

Original poster
beechblob · 17/09/2019 17:04

Ahh I'm going to contact the school and ask if she can have school dinners 2x a week, I didn't realise you could do that! Dh definitely will not make it, his argument is that I start work later and have more time I wish!

OP posts:
BlackInk · 17/09/2019 17:04

If you can comfortably afford the school dinners and your DD likes them, then I don't see a problem with paying for them. If your DH wants her to have packed lunches he can make them! Challenge him to make them for significantly less than £2.50 - all the bits soon add up!

Having said that, the school lunches at my DC's primary school are pretty rubbish and I'm to make packed lunches.

JetPlanesMeeting · 17/09/2019 17:05

we didn't trail anything, we trialled! Meant to say I included a bowl for the soup and the pasta. It is an effort but it can become part of the morning routine.

Original poster
beechblob · 17/09/2019 17:06

@JetPlanesMeeting I love Pinterest and was all geared up for making amazing delicious lunches, the reality of it is quite different though!

OP posts:
roseunicornblower · 17/09/2019 17:07

I make my sons lunch the night before and put it in the fridge. He's a fussy eater so it's the same thing every day!

Original poster
beechblob · 17/09/2019 17:09

@DonPablo dh makes his own sandwiches

OP posts:
Pinkyponker · 17/09/2019 17:09

Pay for school dinners unless he's willing to take on the task of packed lunches every day.
I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to make them either!

ArnoldBee · 17/09/2019 17:10

Our LA has a three week rolling menu so we've highlighted the meals that child likes as like yourself we have a busy life so packed lunches are a pain but the cost of dinners as not small either. On our less hectic days he stays packed lunches but otherwise it's dinners especially if there is something that he really likes. Luckily for us the children indicate during morning registration if they are sandwiches or dinners.

happyasasandboy · 17/09/2019 17:14

If DH is making his own sandwiches then why on earth can't he make DD's lunch at the same time?!

managedmis · 17/09/2019 17:15

What sand boy said

JetPlanesMeeting · 17/09/2019 17:16

If your Dh is making his own sandwiches then he can make them for the children too. That is just fucking lazy and selfish.

Is this because you work part-time?

You just need a system, like I say menu plan it for 1 week, get Dh to make the extra sandwiches you can compile the rest of the ingredients. There are lots of videos on prepping snacks for the week that both of you can do on a weekend.

Cakeorchocolate · 17/09/2019 17:17

If dh wants her to have packed lunch he should share responsibility for making it.

If he's unwilling then school dinners it is. Or as others have said, a mix.
I hate making my own packed lunch! I would prefer dd has a packed lunch so I know what she's eating and how much she's eaten, but in reality I prefer the ease of not having to plan it or make it. May have to reconsider if she keeps coming home 'not remembering' what she's had apart from what she didn't like Sad.

Longdistance · 17/09/2019 17:18

My dds have a school dinner on a Monday and Friday, it’s a packed lunch in between. Their school is fine with it. Dds now make their own packed lunch the night before. We put a selection out on the kitchen work surface and they make their own.

PumpkinPie2016 · 17/09/2019 17:18

To be honest, if you can afford school meals and your daughter likes them then I would put her backnon dinners.

It isn't wasteful if she likes and eats them - it saves time for you which is always a bonus.

My son is Y1 so still gets dinners free but I will definitely be paying for them when he gets to Y3.

livingthegoodlife · 17/09/2019 17:24

I don't mind making packed lunches, I make them the day before whilst cooking the children's dinner and they keep in the fridge fine overnight.

I always have the same things: a sandwich, a piece of fruit or vegetable & a "sweet treat" which is almost always a piece of homemade cake (I make one tray bake a week and it lasts all week).

I think it is a lot cheaper than school dinners:
One piece of bread 20p
Butter 5p?
Ham/cheese/egg 20p
Fruit 30p
Cake 20p

Total about 90p. Poss a bit extra if you added a cheese portion or yoghurt. Or a whole round of sandwiches. Still no where near £2.50.

PrincessWatermelon · 17/09/2019 17:26

My DD1 has had school meals through KS1 although she always wanted packed lunch. Now she is in Y3 my DD2 is starting in YR. So she has free meals, but would be so unhappy if she had school meals and DD1 had packed lunch.

The compromise is 3 school lunch and 2 packed. The 2 packed are on my slightly later start, when I actually do school run (rather than breakfast club). They have the same everyday, just varying the fruit, veg or crisp flavour depending on what they want.

BeanBag7 · 17/09/2019 17:34

If you are planning to make decent school lunch with fruit, proper sandwich fillings (like ham, cheese, chicken, egg etc.) and snacks... I think you would struggle to do it for much less than £2 a day so you wouldnt be saving much.

dementedpixie · 17/09/2019 17:38

My dc can choose day to day whether to have a school dinner or packed lunch. They both take a packed lunch but take pretty much the same thing every day

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