In not wanting to go on this break?

[marymaudlin]

I'm slightly terrified as rarely post here!

A group of us (5) friends have arranged a weekend away this month. We are old uni friends/work colleagues. We are geographically reasonably close and tend to meet up for lunch/drinks etc a few times a year.

I had a a big operation a couple of months ago which I had told them about via our group chat (as part of suggesting we have lunch before I became incapacitated for a while). We did meet up a couple of weeks before my op.

I have not heard a single thing since then via txt/chat or anything asking how I am or how the op went. Nothing. To be honest I'm quite hurt that not one of them has thought of me over the whole summer.

I know I must sound like a drama queen, but I rarely post anything personal on facebook etc, don't want gushing. Just a quick text would have been nice. This sounds petty but I have been supportive recently of other members of the group re relationship troubles, fertility problems. We have sent flowers, messages rushed over for tea and sympathy etc. All in keeping with the level of friendship I thought we had.

Aibu to not want to spend a rare weekend away from my young dc, with women who clearly don't feel that close to me? I don't want a scene or to make a thing of it with them. But to quietly back away seems like a natural thing to do bearing in mind how I feel right now...

I hate confrontation and feel sad about it really. I would just make up an excuse to back out. I have already paid my share so not leaving anybody in the lurch!

these people do not appear to be friends tbh.

If I were you I’d go on the break and reassess after that. They may surprise you. If they don’t then you can back away.

I totally understand why you are hurt and don't want to go.
But, maybe I'd give them one last chance? I think I'd go on the weekend away and see how they treat me, if I were you.

I know it's not an excuse, but maybe they have been really busy and your op slipped their mind. I don't really like social media either, but it could be that because you don't post much, their attention is taken by those who do?

If they are solicitous and caring on the weekend, then maybe it will be easier to forgive their lack of care for you.

If they still don't say anything, then they've shown you their true co!ours and you can back away.

Thanks for these opinions. I really need to make a decision one way or the other, as final trip planning is in progress.

My plan b is a weekend away alone (which I've never done before and scares me).