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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Neighbours dog barking

17 replies

Davegrohlsnewwife · 17/09/2019 11:47

I'm sure there are 100's of these but . . .

AIBU? My neighbours dog has separation anxiety (IKR??) and when left for even a moment barks and whines constantly until he hears their key in the door. They recently acquired another dog, who didn't used to bark, but has started to join in with the other one. Now I have it in stereo.

They usually decide to go out on a Friday or Saturday evening, and leave the dogs for up to six hours at a time. I have previously messaged them, and recorded the dogs barking so they can hear how loud it is in my house. Sometimes the barking keeps my two DC's awake, and even telly full volume doesn't always drown it out.

Their response to this was to suggest I go round and sit with the dogs, or have them in my house until they get home (I cannot do this as I have 2 cats who don't really like dogs) - or say "we'll be home in a couple of hours, don't worry."

I spoke to them about it the other day and they got very defensive, saying that I ask them to feed my cats when I am away, surely I can put up with a bit of occasional barking. I do ask them to feed the cats, this is true, but always make sure it is okay, as I can always ask other neighbours to do this instead. I never go away for longer than 2 or 3 days, and this is only once a year.

They have started going out for a couple of hours during the week as well, and leaving the dogs. It does my head in! I work as a SEN TA - so when I get home and put DC's to bed, I really need that bit of P&Q to de-stress - but this is driving me nuts!

Help!!!

OP posts:
TurtleneckTuna · 17/09/2019 11:49

Are they barking outside or inside?

TurtleneckTuna · 17/09/2019 11:53

I’m actually mortified by their response. I have a barky dog but if he is outside and barks at something he quickly gets told to be quiet and is brought back in. He’s barked since we had him as a puppy and we paid a fair amount for training in his first year to try and stop it (it mostly worked). I always check with the neighbours if he barks when we are not there; and they have always reassured that they don’t hear him if he does.

Before other posters jump on and talk about separation anxiety; it doesn’t necessarily stem from being left alone for a whole day. Dogs can’t really tell the time and some of them literally don’t like being along for two minutes. (But 100000% not advocating leaving a dog alone constantly, just saying that may not be the issue.)

messolini9 · 17/09/2019 12:01

Their response to this was to suggest I go round and sit with the dogs, or have them in my house until they get home

Cheeky fuckers!

You are ging to have to stop asking them for any cat-sitting & sort that out with another neighnbour. Then contact the council with your recording.

messolini9 · 17/09/2019 12:04

Before other posters jump on and talk about separation anxiety; it doesn’t necessarily stem from being left alone for a whole day.

Well doesn't that just take the Bonio for breathtaking ignorance & refusal to accept cause & effect?!

Dogs can’t really tell the time
Don't be daft.
I've never known a dog who can't tell the time to the minute, when meals & walks are done at a specific time each day.

Original poster
Davegrohlsnewwife · 17/09/2019 12:05

He barks inside - but like a lot of houses - walls are wafer thin!

Messolini - I will be asking the other neighbours for help with cats from now on - I just can't believe how rude they are being!

Will the council do anything though? I also don't want to end up with one of "those" relationships with neighbour - they can be really petty over silly things - I like to go home stress free!

OP posts:
BanKittenHeels · 17/09/2019 12:06

They are CFers. I don’t think you can ask them to feed your cat now though.

HairyFloppins · 17/09/2019 12:07

Phone the council and they will send them a letter.

You can't live like that.

Don't get them cat sitting either.

I would happily fall out with them over this.

Original poster
Davegrohlsnewwife · 17/09/2019 12:15

And since I'm on a roll . . .

They have a toddler who they let run into my garden to use my DC's garden toys (swings, trampoline etc) whether we're in or not. Toddler will ask us for food and drink when they come round, and will randomly walk into the house if the back door is open.

They complain about every little thing about every neighbour in the road, and post judgy comments on FB. They are a nightmare and I don't want to provoke them to make my life anymore hell than it is already!

(ok - last bit was dramatic - but you know what I mean!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Davegrohlsnewwife · 17/09/2019 12:18

@hairyfloppins - will the letter from the council say that it is me who complained - or would it say simply that they have received a complaint without specifying who from?

OP posts:
Rachyabbadabbadoo · 17/09/2019 12:22

Depends on the council - ours will send an anonymous letter, stating that they have received complaints from neighbours. A gentle "sort it out please" approach. In the meantime, they ask the neighbours to keep a diary of the noise, just in case the first letter doesn't help. Understand how utterly miserable it is, we had similar a few years ago. Also don't understand why someone would get dogs, and then spend so little time with them, poor things.

HairyFloppins · 17/09/2019 19:57

Ours is anonymous.

PookieDo · 17/09/2019 20:11

I would never do this to my neighbours
It is very CF

My dog barks sometimes and he is always told to stop doing it and I feel terrible if he disturbs anyone

1stmonkey · 17/09/2019 20:50

Urgh they sound awful. Get a better fence/barrier to stop their child turning up uninvited, let them know they will no longer be asked to help with your cats and tell them they've got a week to sort out the barking. Then do what others have said, report to the coucil and prepare yourself for the inevitable showdown. Just don't keep putting up with it!!

TurtleneckTuna · 17/09/2019 22:20

Oh dear I was hoping it was outside so that at least you could suggest shutting them in.

If you’ve already mentioned to your neighbours then they might work out it’s from you. But I’m not sure what else you can do.

Shooting off the hip here, I wonder if you can get some sort of high pitched noise machine (assuming your houses are connected). I believe bark collars do the same thing i.e. let out a noise when the dog barks to train them not to. Never had any experience of them but it may be worth researching.

What to do they do if the dogs bark when they are home?

Jp1953 · 17/09/2019 22:29

We suffer just like you, our neighbours brought home a 6 week old puppy last December, he put the puppy in the kitchen and went out, since then this dog has separation anxiety, as you said as soon as they go out it starts to cry and bark. We spoke to them 3 times to no avail, I contacted our local council who wrote to them and asked us to keep a log, instantly it all improved, for a while but now it's started again, every Saturday and Sunday evening we have it for at least four hours, if we have friends over we can't hear ourselves talk. I sent them a note and I was furious, she replied that she knew her dog hadn't been barking as she had installed a camera to watch it, so she called me a liar!!! What else can we do?????

missmouse101 · 17/09/2019 22:39

These bastards who take on a dog and treat it so cruelly. Bloody wrong, poor thing. Sad

Chunkers · 17/09/2019 23:56

Our council has a local dog warden. I would contact them but also keep a diary in the meantime.

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