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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect partner not leave dirty socks in lounge?

61 replies

Mollie3 · 17/09/2019 08:54

If IANBU please hp me how do I solve this issue?! I have tried asking him and nagging but he still does it. Without fail every day there they are on the floor. If I’m lucky he might throw them on the stairs to be taken up to the laundry and then subsequently taken back down with the other stuff to be washed 🙄

To expect partner not leave dirty socks in lounge?
OP posts:
OnlyLittleMissOrganised · 17/09/2019 10:05

My husband does this, so I just joined the club. So if he complains at me which he does I just say well pot kettle black and you started it. That soon shuts him up

BertrandRussell · 17/09/2019 10:05

“For about a month i collected them and threw them in his office but it bit me back when one day he actually put a months worth of washing in the laundry basket and I had to stay up late for the machine a few nights in a row”
There is so much wrong with this paragraph I don’t know where to start........

Dontlikeoranges · 17/09/2019 10:06

Newmumma83

Why in the actual fuck did you wash all that??

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 17/09/2019 10:06

Partner. I know I've asked you about this before and it's a habit you're finding hard to break. I'm not going to ask you again as it's annoying us both now. I'm just going to put them in the bin / in a pile behind the sofa / in a box in the hall full of all the shit you leave everywhere, so I don't have to spend my day looking at and smelling them until you can be bothered to move them.

Even my toddler who cant speak can be persuaded to move her socks from the floor. Does he need nagging about other basics?

BarbaraofSeville · 17/09/2019 10:07

Do you have DC and/or pets?

If so, push them under the sofa and blame them, and deny all knowledge when he notices that he's run out of socks, apart from suggesting that the obvious solution would be to put them in the washing basket instead of leaving them there for the 'DC/pets' to play with.

All this putting them in his car, on his pillow or back in the sock drawer is far too much effort to solve the problem of his laziness.

from123toabc · 17/09/2019 10:09

My 9 YO DD does this and that's infuriating enough. I'd just leave them in a pile in the corner of the room- he will soon get the picture when he has no clean socks to wear. Manchild!

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 17/09/2019 10:10

Other options like people have said

Leave them. Ignore them til they start to pile up

Bin them

Hide them

Leave your own socks, underwear etc. randomly all over the place

LTB

81Byerley · 17/09/2019 10:10

I agree with@madcatladyforever

Limensoda · 17/09/2019 10:12

it bit me back when one day he actually put a months worth of washing in the laundry basket and I had to stay up late for the machine a few nights in a row”

You didn't have to do anything. If you can't see that, then you are actually rewarding him for his behaviour....why would he stop? He's got you well trained.

AmIThough · 17/09/2019 10:17

Mine does this but somehow manages to roll them up into balls.
He gets upset when they're left in balls when they're washed and put into his sock drawer though Grin

BruceAndNosh · 17/09/2019 10:24

My husband takes his socks off in the living room while watching TV.
I never pick them up because I'm his wife, not his maid.
He picks his own socks up

BertrandRussell · 17/09/2019 10:24

“This is not how adult people behave. You are treating me like shit and I assume you don’t want our children to grow up thinking this is how relationships work. How you behave to me is how your sons will treat their partners and how your daughters will expect to be treated. Please stop now”

Original poster
Mollie3 · 17/09/2019 10:31

He does have a pile of clothes by his side of the bed just strewn all over the floor by his side. Mainly loungewear 🤔
My x also did this and I could not fix it in 10 years of nagging and trying various solutions like baskets etc the idea being him to use this instead of floor. So with current DP I let this issue go, really I should tackle it but my track record suggests it would be a non starter..🙄

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 17/09/2019 10:38

@Mollie3 - do you want your children to think this is how people behave?

Ringdonna · 17/09/2019 10:47

Just pick them up.

PawPawNoodle · 17/09/2019 10:53

I think it's very condescending of people to say that this is not 'how adults behave'. Of course it is. Adults are not perfect, infallible creatures incapable of such atrocities (although it seems a lot of you think you are!).

As an adult paying rent for my home I feel that I am entitled to live comfortably, and if that includes leaving my socks in the living room having taken them off after a long days work then I will, they're not going to harm anyone. I'll hang my knickers off the lampshade if I want to in my own home.

messolini9 · 17/09/2019 10:54

For about a month i collected them and threw them in his office but it bit me back when one day he actually put a months worth of washing in the laundry basket and I had to stay up late for the machine a few nights in a row

Did you, @Newmumma83?
Are you an indentured servant?
Does your partner not know how to operate a washing machine?

Suggest you start putting the dirty ones back in his office again, & when he puts them in the laundry basket ... IGNORE THEM.

BertrandRussell · 17/09/2019 11:00

You can hang your knickers on the lights if you want to- what you can’t do is expect another person to take them down or wash them for you. And if another person you live with doesn’t like it you negotiate some sort of compromise. Your desire to hang your knickers on the light does not override another person’s desire for them not to be there.

Windydaysuponus · 17/09/2019 11:09

If dh's washing makes it to the baskets it gets washed by either of us - whoever is in that day.
His floordrobe contents are his to wash.
Teens manage to find the bathroom OK.

Nanny0gg · 17/09/2019 11:14

Just pick them up

I agree.

And put them in the bin/garden/his side of the bed/anywhere it might inconvenience him

QforCucumber · 17/09/2019 11:21

I do this, but I also collect them the next morning when I'm sticking the washing machine on before work. I don't really see the big deal tbh, I don't expect anyone to clean them up after me, if DH chooses to move them before I do that's on him.

PawPawNoodle · 17/09/2019 11:21

Where does the OP say that her partner expects her to pick up his socks and wash them? He takes his socks off and leaves them there sometimes, sometimes they go into the laundry to be done by an unspecified person. OP doesn't appear to have negotiated either, she has referred to nagging though which I can only assume makes him double down on leaving his socks where he fancies.

Thankfully I live with someone who is equally as relaxed about such insignificant things and would understand that I'll take my knickers off the lampshade when I get round to it. I tripped over dirty workboots in the bedroom once (I'm sure that's about 3 MN red flags oops), I left them there and guess what? They were moved! No nagging needed!

TheJoxter · 17/09/2019 11:25

I picked up an entire box of socks from our living room floor today. Half ones he’s worn and chucked on the floor and half ones he took of the washing line and dumped in a pile.

I tried putting all the stuff he left dumped on the floor in a box for him to sort out but all he did was dump more stuff in the box and leave the box in the way Angry

TheJoxter · 17/09/2019 11:25

Oh and don’t even get me started on the work boots. Who needs five pairs of work boots and why do I keep finding them on the dining room chairs??

dowehaveastalker · 17/09/2019 11:28

Do what I do - I stopped washing his laundry 🤷🏻‍♀️