To think I am doing the right thing

[Farfarfaraway]

I care for a girl with multiple disabilities mainly at night. Her mum lives on her own with her daughter. We are told if we are ever concerned we need to wake her. We were told this loads of times. I would say on average I would wake her about once every 8 nights I am on.

The thing is when I do I either get told “I don’t know what to tell you to do” and then she goes back to sleep or if she does get up and come in I get “oh I though she would be a lot worse then this since you got me up”
I honestly only wake her when I think she needs to be informed about something important re the daughters health because I think action needs to be taken or her daughter is really really upset and needs her mum which sometimes happens as well (she screams out for her)
Just feel a bit like she thinks I am waking her for no reason. Has anyone else found this working in care

I have no experience of this but I think you are right. Imagine how mum would react if you didn’t wake her and something happened her daughter

I havent worked in car for my job. But I have been a carer and think this comes to perspective.

It's not really about right or wrong. If the mother has been living with her whole life, she has probably seen her daughter when she is far worse. Her perception of something wrong, may be different to yours. What you see as worse, she may see as fairly normal.

I think you are doing the right thing, though. You are waking her when you are concerned and your judgement is all you can go off.

I know that sometimes carers were very concerned by my grandfather and would call me. Especially if they were quite new to visiting him. I knew how bad his dementia was and was used to it.

Sometimes it would be a little frustrating to have to come out of work and see he was just his usual confused self. But I would have still rather had a call. The problem was that grandad needed to be in a 24 hour care facility. Trying to actually access that and get the doctors and adult social services to agree was a different matter. So I totally got why newish carers were very concerned when they went round. The ones that had been visiting a while got uses to him.

I have to say I think carers do a windegik job and I cant thank people like you enough. You are just trying to do what's best.

Talk to your supervisor for advice.

Tbh she sounds exhausted, she is there all day and most likely experiences everything you wake her for and nothing she does makes any difference. You are doing your job though and doing it right sticking to the guidelines.

I worked in care for 6 years and frequently had this dilemma, it’s really really tough. By getting the mother up you know you’re doing everything “by the book” but you also know she’s knackered and wants to sleep.... but also know there’s the “why didn’t you get me you know you’re supposed to” .... sorry if I’m just reiterating what others have said but just wanted to say you’re not alone and the fact that you worry about this shows that you’re doing a fantastic job and trying to think about all concerned x

Thanks it just hard to make a judgement call at times.