To end friendship over this

[Babybel90]

NC for this.

I’ve just come back from a weekend away with a group of friends I met through my kids school, I’ve known them all for a few years.

One of the women has always been a bit of a chatterbox, but over the years this has descended into her talking at me, she earns more than me and likes to bring this up a lot. Whatever I’m doing she’s done better, so if I go to the gym then she’s got a personal trainer, if I book a package holiday to Spain then she’s going to book a cruise around the Med, if I’m looking at a new house in a nearby area she’s looking at a bigger house in a more expensive area, if I buy a second hand car then she’s looking at a brand new BMW. Except none of these things ever materialise. I’m not bragging about the things I do to her, they’re just things that come up in conversation and if she’d actually booked a holiday or bought a new car I’d be glad to hear about it.

I’m just sick of being ‘one-upped’ and she’s obviously making these things up on the spur of the moment because they never actually happen.

So my AIBU is would I be wrong to back off from seeing her?

I would back off. She adds no value to your life, so what's the point of her being in it? She sounds tedious and painfully insecure.

Just be polite but don't tell.her stuff. And yes back away. No big dramas just back away.

Friendships are opt-in. If she isn't enjoyable for you, there's no point.

Perhaps you should tell her you’ve won the lottery????
Then opt out.

Christ she sounds like a dreadful bore.. yip bin her off

You don’t like her. It doesn’t matter what the reason is - if you don’t like someone you don’t have to be their friend.

If she's going to continue being part of the group it might be difficult to bin her altogether but definitely back away from any one to one meet ups and don't tell her anything about yourself from now on.

This sounds like a toxic relationship. YANBU!

Can't make conversation with those who've been to Elevenerife.

Thank you all, it’s seems pretty unanimous then! I think I just needed permission to back away, it will be a weight off my shoulders.

I am a bit worried about having to avoid the rest of the group but I think I will try to just do one on one meet ups with them and see how it goes.

Haha, you won't be the only she does this to and everyone will find it annoying. Like pp said she's an elevenerifer, because if you've been to Tenerife she's been to elevenerife! Just avoid her if you can and not along when you can't.

Just tune her out when you're in a group.

My husband knew someone this in his social group, and who often belittled others with similar comments. One day an old school friend was up and went out with this group, observed this person and heard all their one upmanship comments, and muttered “Do you know, if you said you had an elephant, then he would quickly tell us all that he had a box to put it in.”

@farnworth haha yes, she’s exactly like that!

could you not politely call her out on things? so mention a holiday and when she mentions one say "did you go on that cruise you mentioned last time, round the med?" or if she mentions another new car say "but you just got the BMW didnt you?". Maybe if her lies are brought to her she will realise.

@dillusionaldog I could do that, but to be honest I’d probably be inviting another 10 minute ‘talking at me’ about why she didn’t do whatever it was because she’s going to do something even better, and I don’t have the energy to listen anymore.

This last weekend I felt the will to live slowly leaving my body when someone else mentioned that they’ve put themselves up for a promotion at work, and I could see she was about to launch into how important her job is and how she’s guaranteed a promotion soon and just had to interview as a formality 🤨