AIBU to be disgusted with family?

[mcscotty]

Trying to keep this brief with only relevant details.

Cousin A stole my disabled uncles credit cards and ran up thousands of pounds of debt in it. Uncle found out when he couldn’t get money out of cash point and panicked.

One of the purchases was a pedigree dog for £2500 which was delivered to cousin A’s house (he is 17, living at home no job not in education). This is not the first time he has bought expensive items with other peoples credit cards. Considering he has no income and form for credit card fraud his parents did not question where this dog came from.
In the past he has stolen cards details from his parents, they let him keep what he had bought (eg an £800 computer) however no questions were asked about how this puppy was financed when it was suddenly delivered by courier to their doorstep.

There was general disgust in the whole family especially when it was discovered that yet again no punishment was forthcoming from parents and cousin was being allowed to keep the dog. We have reason to believe it is not the first time he has stolen from his uncle but we cannot prove it.

Terms such as unforgivable were thrown around and threats were made to involve the police. His parents covered the money he had spent from the account, dog was kept, promises made that cousin would not be left unsupervised with vulnerable uncle again.

This was a few months ago, last week we find out my uncle has been put in a position where cousin has stayed unsupervised overnight with him again which made my uncle very uncomfortable.

As a last straw the dog bought with his stolen card has now had puppies with other family dog.

And this is the bit that sticks in my throat and the AIBU ......my sister and cousins are buying / being given these puppies by auntie. Everyone thinks this is fabulous and lovely.....yay puppies!!!!!

They cannot understand why I think this is morally wrong. To me it is similar to buying goods that you know are stolen. You cannot be outraged at stealing from a family member while at the same time benefiting from that theft. Nothing has changed, cousin got away with stealing and gets to keep proceeds while still allowed to be in position where they can do it again.

AIBU to thinks this stinks, is morally wrong and bloody hypocritical? None of them can see a problem with it.......

Of course it's wrong and awful - not so much the puppies (although not great...), but the abuse of a vulnerable person. I don't know enough about this but would have thought this needed discussing with social services, hopefully someone more knowledgeable will be along.

Another note -the dog was delivered by courier?! WTAF??

Your uncle is being very badly let down by his family, he is a vulnerable adult and has been (and may still be) taken advantage of.

your cousin's entitled behaviour is shocking but the rest of the family covering up and enabling it is disgraceful. Is no-one looking after the financial affairs of your uncle? how do you even know the money has been repaid?

This matter needs to be reported to the police, this is abuse and your uncle needs to be protected from a family that clearly view him as an additional piggy bank at their disposal. Please do the right thing and report this matter.

Thanks for the replies. My mother has now taken over his financial affairs. In the past my auntie and mother had joint responsibility. Unfortunately the auntie has become a borderline alcoholic and has been extremely spiteful and abusive to my mum, the result was a near nervous breakdown and my mum having to go on medication.

We have spoken to the police off the record and they said if we made an official complaint they would have to take a statement from my uncle and he is really doesn't want to do this. My mum says it is important his wishes are respected.
I'm not sure where we go from here....

That’s disgusting, Op. if my son had done that to my brother I’d be ashamed. I’d pay the money back myself & get my money back off my son. I would report him to the police or else he will keep doing this. But it’s difficult if uncle doesn’t want to.