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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP and credit card

119 replies

Hp737 · 16/09/2019 12:10

Is this CF? Dp is on a work trip. His company expect him to pay for the hotel and other expenses upfront (on a debit or credit card) and claim it back, they don’t give out company credit cards. On this week long trip to a very expensive European city it will be in the region of £2k+.

Dp does not have a credit card, he is an additional cardholder on my credit card which I have for e.g. when we need to rent a car overseas. I have a long/good credit history and got offered a good credit card with a decent limit. he hasn’t found it easy to get offered credit because he has changed addresses 3 times in 3 years (pretty normal for our age group/city.) however he otherwise has a high salary and an excellent credit score, so no financial demons- I’ve seen proof recently.

Dp wants to pay for his work expenses on the credit account in my name for which he is an additional cardholder. He will pay me back when his work reimburse him (not sure when, at my work this takes about a month.)
However dp has over £15k in accessible savings. He only doesn’t want to touch this for the work stuff because it will “affect the interest payment on his savings”.

AIBU to think that you have savings for when you need them? Interest payments on savings are a bit of a luxury, he’s the one who has to travel for work. I have dipped into my savings (about half the size of his) several times when I have needed to for any reason, and yes it might affect the interest I get, but that’s just tough?

I think he should pay me back as soon as my credit card gets charged since he has the money available. I have a minimum payment that goes out from my current account as I am paying off a big personal expense on my credit card right now and his work expenses will put my minimum payment up. Also I manage my finances very carefully and I jsut don’t want random amounts on my credit card which I use in very specific circumstances only.

I know I probably sound money obsessed but Aibu? I think he needs a reality check.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 16/09/2019 13:34

Sorry should have reread that. I changed a couple of sentences and missed words out. I hope the message is clear.

Chewbecca · 16/09/2019 13:35

I don’t see why you have a problem, it will be reimbursed and no interest will be paid. This is exactly what credit cards are best for, it’s not really what most people would use savings for.

However, I think he should get his own credit card for future.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/09/2019 13:35

But do you get if he doesn’t pay the full amount off you will be paying interest on this money? And that the interest you’re paying is far higher than the interest he’s getting.

Rachelover60 · 16/09/2019 13:35

Banks are offering very low interest rate loans at the moment, far cheaper than a credit card. I'm going to sort one out tomorrow and pay off my card, it makes sense: (I don't have an enormous bill but have had to use the card for big expenditure recently, pending an inheritance I will receive when probate goes through, probably new year).

I'm sure you'll get your money back, Hp but I understand your concern. Pity your partner's work don't issue a card to him or that he doesn't have one of his own.

I'm sure others have given you good advice on here.

You take care.

19lottie82 · 16/09/2019 13:37

I find it strange he can’t get his own credit card based on the sole fact that he’s moved 3 times in recent years. This would be a negative factor, yes, but if he has a good credit history bar that, I wouldn’t expect him to be uncredit worthy.

Get him to check out the money saving expert site, they do a soft search eligibility tracker to see what cards he is likely to be accepted for.

bluebeck · 16/09/2019 13:37

Stop trying to explain it to him as he is pretending he doesn't understand.

Just tell him you are cancelling his additional card on X date. Then don't discuss any further. Up to him what he does, not your problem.

C8H10N4O2 · 16/09/2019 13:38

think he just isn’t very clued up about money (despite earning a lot more than me).

How old is he? And when is he planning to get clued up about money because its a fundamental of being an adult.

If he has a good credit history and a high salary then moving house won't block his getting a credit card. He may need to shop around a bit and get the application in quickly so that its available in time. He will also need to make quite sure he gets his claims in on time to be paid back in that cycle.

If travel for work on a non work card is regular then BA Amex isn't a bad deal.

nonmerci · 16/09/2019 13:40

I wouldn’t be happy with this and would remove him as an additional user. Biggest concern would be him not paying it back on time and interest being added. It may cause resentment, a bit like lending money to someone who takes forever to reimburse you.

coconuttelegraph · 16/09/2019 13:41

As a fully grown high earning adult his attitude is pathetic, personally I'd lose respect for someone who can't organise his own work, you aren't his mother, I'd be embarassed to admit I didn't understand the basics of personal finance if I was him

C8H10N4O2 · 16/09/2019 13:43

I have tried to talk around this a bit and he’s just pleading ignorance and I don’t see why I need to explain this to a high earning thirtysomethibg

Sorry missed the age in this first time.

He is taking the piss and needs to grow up, get his own card, you then remove him from yours.

DeNiroDeFaro · 16/09/2019 13:45

I would put it on your CC since it's good for your credit rating?

Also, his company not having a CC is not an excuse to not pay in advance. No reason hotels etc can't just invoice the company like any other supplier?

catlady3 · 16/09/2019 13:46

Can he not look into getting a card of his own? There are deals for people with a bad credit score / history, so surely as long as he can evidence his address changes it shouldn't be impossible to get one? Or look into a prepaid one?

Haffiana · 16/09/2019 13:47

Yes he does have a debit card. He just doesn’t want to dip into his savings as he is worried it will affect his interest. For me interest on savings is a nice to have not a right.

But using his savings will lose money. Using the CC will not lose money. It is pretty simple.

It is clear though that you regard your money as yours, and his as his. Therefore you must remove him from your credit card - which as you say, you put him on to SAVE money, something that bizarrely you don't want him to do with his savings. Is saving money by using your credit card your 'right' only??

You have some sort of beef over your finances as a couple, don't you? You resent his savings perhaps? Do you feel that if they are his, that you should keep him away from yours? You need to sort this or your relationship will founder.

Durgasarrow · 16/09/2019 13:48

OP, I think you can see the problem you've gotten yourself into here,If you don't want to be married, don't let him use your credit card! Especially not for business! As you can see, you are 100 percent vulnerable to him doing whatever the hell he wants with your money and you have absolutely no recourse. I would say to get married, but more likely, it sounds like you should dump him because what kind of grown-up male uses his girlfriend's credit card for business trips? Even aside from how rude it is to you, it makes him look completely unprofessional!

slipperywhensparticus · 16/09/2019 13:49

If they are laye repaying that will put your interest up

C8H10N4O2 · 16/09/2019 13:50

You have some sort of beef over your finances as a couple, don't you?

I think expecting a 30-something high earner to manage his own finances rather than expect a partner to sub him for your convenience is a pretty reasonable beef.

More to the point I wouldn't trust someone that pathetic to get their expenses in on time to meet the payment cycle on a non corporate card.

Original poster
Hp737 · 16/09/2019 13:51

Yes, a prepaid one would be something he can do now as he has more than enough in savings. He just doesn’t see why he should use savings to cover it. I get that it’s be annoying to do that but I also feel that he would push back more at work or put in more effort with the credit card search if he did otherwise have to dip into his savings.

Personally I dip into my savings as and when but my rationale for getting a decent credit card was to avoid this in emergencies. I still do it though.

I guess I feel very frustrated at the prospect of sitting down and walking him through this. No one told me, I figured it out myself, and he says he hates filling out forms but it’s just a part of life and I don’t want to to only have to do it for him but also have to explain it all for him. I should’ve put my foot down about exactly what the credit card was for but he didn’t seem to get it. He thinks it’s “our” credit card I’ve had to say a few times that it’s actually in my name. I wish some adults could jsut be a bit more savvy about personal finances. Feel very frustrated about it.

OP posts:
verticality · 16/09/2019 13:51

No, no, no, no absolutely not,

He should be able to apply for, and obtain, a credit card at very short notice. Or, if he rings the bank, he may be able to arrange a 0% overdraft.

He could also raise this at work and ask for it to be paid on a corporate credit card. Most workplaces have such a thing for precisely this eventuality. There is no shame in admitting you don't have £2k that isn't tied up.

PettyContractor · 16/09/2019 13:52

He needs to organise a solution for himself, it's not right to rely on you if you're not happy. You don't need a reason for not being happy, this is not a favour that anyone needs, this is a favour because he can't be bothered to sort himself out.

Original poster
Hp737 · 16/09/2019 13:57

@Haffiana - we split expenses such as holiday car rentals 50/50, so it would cost us both money if we had to pay more for an additional driver, than just booking the rental in one persons name (mine) and then him having to be an additional driver to do the driving. That was an initiative by me to save us BOTH money. Personal savings and expenditure for us is our own responsibility. I don’t expect him to save me money or vice verse normally. We split some expenses jointly (home related), others we pay ourselves, we save into our own accounts. I’m sure a lot of couples are like this.

My “beef” is regarding his perceived entitlement to savings interest. the expenses are nothing to do with me and I don’t see why I have to provide his company with a short term loan.

OP posts:
MummytoCSJH · 16/09/2019 13:57

Sorry no, this is his problem to solve not yours. He either takes it from savings or explains to his company that he simply can't afford to be short whilst they sort it out so it needs to be paid to him/for him in advance, otherwise he can't go. If they refuse he'll have to not go or use his savings. No way I would let him run up debt in your name regardless of your relationship.

Haffiana · 16/09/2019 13:57

I think expecting a 30-something high earner to manage his own finances rather than expect a partner to sub him for your convenience is a pretty reasonable beef.

More to the point I wouldn't trust someone that pathetic to get their expenses in on time to meet the payment cycle on a non corporate card.

Really? If my husband asked me to put an expense on my credit card because he didn't want to blow his ISA's by taking money out of them I would say YES. I would say YES because we are a couple and because I would not wish for my partner to lose interest on his ISA's. And I would consider him SENSIBLE not 'pathetic'

Shoxfordian · 16/09/2019 13:59

Can you remove him as an additional card holder? Or maybe ask him to pay the extra minimum payment needed to cover his costs?

Original poster
Hp737 · 16/09/2019 14:00

Btw they are a large global household name you will most have heard of and they have a list of preferred (5*) hotels in every location for work trips so the fact that they expect employees to foot the bills for unspecified amount of time is crazy when it could be avoided. I also work for a global corporate and we book all hotels through a third party who get invoices and do not charge employees at source except for specific incidentals while on trips.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 16/09/2019 14:11

I have tried to talk around this a bit and he’s just pleading ignorance and I don’t see why I need to explain this to a high earning thirtysomethibg with the wherewithal to a)accrue large savings and interest and b)achieve senior role at work where stuff like this comes up

You don't need to explain it to him like you're his mum, or otherwise facilitate him.

You just need to say "no".

No, DP, you cannot use my credit card. No, DP, it is not a joint credit card.

He can get one in his own name, and then you can take him off as additional cardholder because he can then book the holiday cars himself.

Frankly, I'd say to him that I find it extremely unlikely that he cannot get a credit card himself, so is he hiding something?

If he has a bank account then his bank can issue him a credit card really quickly, or a 0% authorised overdraft extension.

Don't be his mum. Just say no and let him sort it out.