To ask for a hand hold?

[Oilsens]

Name changed as this is outing.

Can I have a hand hold?

Me and partner have a 20 month old son together. On Saturday partner attempted suicide.

Yesterday I visited him and he said he wants to come home because he hates it there.

His family said to me that he's just done it for attention because his brothers wife has given birth so partner isn't getting any attention from them.

And trying to think of what to say to son as he keeps asking where he is and wants him to read him a story. I told son that partner will read him a sorry when he comes back.

About to drop off son with my friend so I can visit partner.

Don't know what I want from this post really.

His family said to me that he's just done it for attention because his brothers wife has given birth so partner isn't getting any attention from them.

That is just bizarre. Why would a grown man need attention from his grown up brother and girlfriend? Who told you this?

Are his parents always so cruel about him? If so maybe thats where it all began

Your ds is only little, i would just tell him daddy is having a rest

I agree, daddy's not well and he's having a rest to get better. His family sound like complete fuckwits, I'd have nothing further to do with them. No wonder he feels so worthless coming from that.

I'm so sorry that this has happened, OP.
I dont think that your DP's family dismissing an attempt to take his own life as "attention seeking" is at all helpful.
I hope that both you and your DP can get support.

Your DP's family sound like part of the problem, tbh.

I hope he gets the help he needs. It must have been a terrible shock for you.

His dad told me that but his mum doesn't seem bothered either.

His family haven't offered to have son so I can visit partner either (they arent going to visit so I would've thought they would offer) but luckily my friend has offered.

Tbh they dont sound like people i would want around my dc

I'm so sorry this is an incredible shock. Has this ever happened before?

His family don't sound like they should be around him.

I take it he's on a ward? I would imagine he will hate it, it's a strange environment when he already feels awful and he will lose a lot of control, BUT it's important he gets a full assessment or next time could be worse. Don't let him talk his way out before he's actually doing better.

Please take care of yourself as well. You are dealing with almost losing your partner and that's a huge shock. Your baby will be ok with platitudes, daddies away for work, having a rest, on holiday etc.

I'm a MH nurse and worked in similar settings a lot, please feel free to message if you need support navigating the system.

No it hasn't happened before.

Yes it's a ward and he hates hospitals.

I think I'll tell son that partner is working away because if I say he's having a rest he will want to see him.

Hi @Oilsens has he been sectioned? He will be able to visit with the doctors permission and a pass ( I can't remember what it's called) but really at this short stage do you want the stress of him coming home even if just for a visit? You must be so stressed out yourself now.

I don't understand the "attention seeking" or "cry for help" mentality that people say about an attempted suicide. If someone is in such a dark place mentally that suicide is their preferred option, shouldn't people that love them (ie. parents, partners, friends) give them some attention, love, support, help.

To dismiss it as attention seeking is terrible. It is basically ignoring the problem.

I think that if his parents are ignoring a suicide attempt then it shows they are not really interested in his well being, only wanting to see him when he is "well", "good", "useful" etc. Not unconditional love, which may have some background explanation as to how he has found himself thinking he has noone to rely on - which is obviously untrue.

I hope you find you have the support you need in order to show your partner he has your unconditional support.

No he hasn't been sectioned. And he told them he doesn't want to be.

He knows that I support him and love him and one of his friends supports him as he told his friend to look out for me and son or something like that and he called the police. And his friend has been visiting him.