Aibu to be pissed off

[Passthewinethanks]

Mum off two kids. Eldest is 10 youngest 9 month.went to restaurant Fri night. I had seafood.woke up through the night basically shitting the bed and spewing.felt like this all weekend.wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.obviosly a touch off food poisoning.absolute hell.
Dh has been good with kids this weekend.in his fashion. (Me keeping him right)
Last night youngest wouldn't settle and I spend 1 and half hours pacing the floor. ( He has NEVER put her down for the night) oh and by the way I have now came down with flu.
My dh was down stairs.
I eventually went down looking and feeling like an absolute corpse.
My phone was dead so asked to use his to check news online.
Clicked on internet and first thing that came up was the page clearing his history .
Basically he's been on porn while I was upstairs ready to keel over.
He's done this before so I know he has been.
I literally didn't have the strength to ask him and cause a discussion about it. So I passed him his phone back and went to bed. Woke up feeling really pissed and ill.
Pissed off because he has never put her down for bed.
Also pissed off about the porn.
Aibu

Yes you are. What’s the big deal

YANBU
The "big deal" is that he's a parent who is dumping the parental responsibility onto his sick DH so he can wank off to (often) abused & vulnerable women.

I'm not surprised you're annoyed OP.

No you're not, but you're feelings are exacerbated because you are unwell, tired etc.

I think most men look at porn, I don't have an issue with it, BUT if DH was sat watching porn while there was stuff needed doing, yeah ud be pretty pissed off.

Hope you feel better soon!

For me there is 2 separate issues. The not helping with bedtime, especially when you are unwell is unreasonable on his part. You need to have a discussion about him having more input with evenings and nights

The porn? That wouldn't bother me but it's not appropriate when you are ill and struggling with the kids. He needs to be doing that in his 'own' time when everything is settled

I don't think YABU. I think DH should be helping with bedtime rather than having a wank.

Why did you even do bedtime if you were feeling unwell? You could have told your DP that he needed to do it. Yes it may have taken a while but you obviously needed rest.

and by the way I have now came down with flu.
As an aside, I really don’t think you’d be able to write on mn or go and read the news if you had the flu. Obviously you feel ill though and I hope you feel better soon

dh has been good with the kids this weekend in his fashion

What does this actually mean? He doesn't look after them properly? Does he feed them properly, appropriately entertain them, help them develop, show them love and kindness, read to them, make sure they get enough sleep?

Why has he never done a bedtime? He is usually at work at that time seven days a week? Do you refuse to let him?

And I really dont understand the rush to
Be porn cool on here from some women. I absolutely
Don't believe for one second they
Would actually be fine with their husbands sat watching porn while they are sick with food poisoning and spending one and a half hours trying to put a child to sleep.

@littlelongdog probably slight exaggeration from me.but I do feel very poorly.and weak.
@c0untducku1a I just mean, stuff like swaddling the baby in way she likes, knowing the nack to getting a extra few mouthfuls of food into her, which makes her in a happier mood just menial mum stuff I suppose.im so pleased u added the part about the cool with porn.surely everyone can't be cool with it like they make out

I think other posters are right - two entirely separate issues here. If you always jump in when he is looking after the children then that is undermining him in his role as the parent.

I dunno, in many of these situations I see on here I wonder how many useless blokes out there are actually perfectly capable but continue to feign uselessness because they know the women will jump in.

I wouldn’t be annoyed about porn but I would be annoyed if he’s not helping out.

@Icantthinkofanynewnames you wouldn't be annoyed with your husband watching porn while your were sick recovering from diarrhea and vomiting and trying to settle a baby? Really? Because if thats true you need to raise your standards.