to ask why my STBXH wants to use WhatsApp rather than Messenger

[justanotherremainer]

SMy STBXH has regular phone contact with our DS, 6. This started off just telephone, but progressed to Messenger video calls, and now to WhatsApp (at his request).

I am wondering whether there might be a reason behind this.Our relationship was abusive and he has stalker-ish tendencies. Is there any reason he might wish to use WhatsApp rather than Messenger? Does it give more info about where I am, for example?

Or am I being overly suspicious?

If you are going through court proceedings it’s easier to use WhatsApp because you can export the entire conversation to a pdf without having to download an additional app.
If you right swipe a convo, select more options then select export chat.
I would assume it’s for ease of evidence.

I'd monitor it to make sure he wasn't asking your son personal questions about you, your whereabouts, new relationships etc. He's brought that on himself.

Trial it.

Knowing children aren't supposed to have Whatsapp accounts. I was recently looking at what messaging apps are available for children, and Facebook's one seemed to come out top. I don't know if they have a special version for children, or if it's the same as the adult one, never use facebook or their messaging.

This is possibly not relevant as it sounds like OP's child is using her phone. Or maybe it is, because at some point child will have their own device, and at that point messaging might have to go back to messenger.

What is messenger? Is it an iPhone thing?

if it's iMessage the OP is referring to then yes it's particular to iPhone but if it's FB messenger it can be any phone. You don't need to use FB to be able to use it.

I prefer WhatsApp over either of them.

Knowing children aren't supposed to have Whatsapp accounts

I presumed DS was using his mums account. Won't be allowing mine to have any social media for a long time yet, he's 7.

The link from TixieLix is interesting and suggests your ex may be planning to keep an eye on your whereabouts.

If your DS has his own phone then your ex could load the app on there and it can be hidden but ex could track where he is in live time. Stands to reason, apart from being at school, that a 6 year old child will generally be where his DM is.

He will know when son is out and about with you or when son is at home.

Thanks for explaining @nononever. I neither have an iphone or facebook so use whatapp all the time.

OP, on whatsapp just turn off read receipts and online status, it will allow you to message without being stalked.

Thanks @DieBabySharkDie

You can delete messages from both phones but only if the other person hasn’t read it yet.

Anyway, my guess is he’s quit FB or isn’t using it as much. Maybe just finds WhatsApp easier? I don’t think there’s anything sinister about it. Turn off the read receipts if you don’t want him to know when you’ve read his messages and you can turn off your time stamp so he can’t see when you were last online.

Messenger is just Facebook messenger.

DS uses my phone, he doesn't have his own phone.

They video chat on WhatsApp, and don\t wrote to each each other. I try not to sit right next to DS during the video chat but am usually not far away so I would know if DH was asking awkward questions - although of course I have no doubt he will be doing so when he has contact with DS. The location during the video calls is always when we are at home, and he will be able to see that from the video. Can he track my location when there is not an active convo? Will look properly at that link, thanks very much everybody.

If anybody has any other tips for these video chats I'd be grateful to hear them! I find them really intrusive tbh, I know he just loves the feeling of being inside my house. But DS generally enjoys them, so it is worth it.

write

Honestly, I suspect's because most people just prefer WhatsApp these days. It's very user friendly, it can be used on computer and phone, allows chatting and text and can be set up for the users convenience much more easily (eg my facebook messenger annoys me on my phone so I try to avoid it as I can't change the way it appears).

And I know a lot of people (especially men for some reason) who only want to use one messaging app at a time - so for example if they move to WhatsApp they don't want to use text messages etc.