Maternity leave after a preemie

[Yellowpolkadot]

Dd was born at 33+5 weeks via emergency csection after a failed induction, reduced fetal movements, high PI pressure and suspected iugr. She was 3lb 7 when born, spent 24 hours in NICU, 2 weeks on a transitional ward and had prolonged jaundice so was readmitted at 3 weeks for a further 3 days. All rather traumatic for first time parents.

18 months on I’m now pregnant with DC2 and DH and I are at logger heads regarding my start of maternity. DH wants me to go off at 30 weeks, relax and hope the same doesn’t happen again. I on the other hand want to put 37 or 38 weeks down (I’m a teacher so will see what works best with holidays either side!) the consultant has said there is no reason that we should have the same problem this time, and we were just unfortunate last time, as far as he can see I couldn’t have done anything differently.

I don’t want to go off early and waste precious time with new baby. I’ll likely only be able to take off 9 months. If I go off at 30 weeks up to 10 weeks of that could be without baby (consultant has said I won’t be allowed to go over and I’ve agreed to attempt Vbac before 40 weeks but will have an elective booked in for 40 weeks)

Who is being unreasonable? If you were in my position what would you do?

When are you due? Your school
Should be amending your duties for the last part of Your pregnancy, ask to have a risk assessment meeting. Try and go to week 37 and like others have said go earlier if it is too much for you

I'd put in for 36/37 weeks, you can be signed off before that if needs be.

@Witchinaditch there’s about as much chance of that happening as it snowing in June. We are short staffed (core subject in a school who struggle to employ) so likelihood is my mat leave will be covered by supply teachers. So the longer I can stay in the better for my poor year 11s 🙈

@Yellowpolkadot that’s rubbish! Can you at least ask them for no break/ lunch duty and maybe reduced hours if you don’t have a PM registration and no year 11/free period p5? Anything to lighten the load on you. Look on the NUT website they give great advice for what you’re entitled to in pregnancy and mat leave, but ultimately you have to look after yourself the place will be standing long after you.

Thanks @Witchinaditch good to know there is guidance out there. The NUT were very supportive last time when I had issues with what work was telling me and what is the law 🙄

Obviously after last time all that is important to us is trying to get through the pregnancy as healthily as possible. Head teacher was not impressed when I told him today! So I guess it will be a fun few months! He's going to be even less impressed when he realises how closely monitored I'm going to be😂

Due the end of Feb, so trying to get to Feb half term, and start my mat leave on the first Monday back

There's nothing stopping you putting that down and going earlier if you feel like it.

I'm due start of Feb so planning to finish at Christmas and start mat leave officially on the inset in Jan. I reckon I could go a few weeks into Jan but as I'm primary there's less disruption on the kids if I just finish at Christmas.

Teacher friends have all said to me that with your second you're best going as long as you can as you don't get the same time to just relax!

Oh and your head sounds like a dick!

@Yellowpolkadot that’s awful that he wasn’t supportive. I’m usually for working until the last min but in your case I would say look after yourself and put your health first as your school doesn’t sound like it has your best interests. When I was in teaching I managed to work to 39 weeks and I was a secondary teacher in a school that found it hard to recruit as my school was supportive and gave me massively reduced duties. Good luck to you OP and mind yourself.

@Yellowpolkadot

Due the end of Feb, so trying to get to Feb half term, and start my mat leave on the first Monday back 🙈

This was my plan this year at February half term! I broke up on the Friday and had her on the Sunday! 🙄😂 Lost my free week!

Your Heads response should have been 'that's wonderful, lets make sure you get enough rest. '
As far as your DH is concerned, his anxiety is completely understandable, but it's really up to you. Plan to work as long as you feel able to do so, put your own needs before that of your school. School will not fall apart if you're not there!

Put down the date you want to go but if your struggling a doctor should be more than willing to sign you off sooner if you need them too given your history.

Haha head is a bit of a dick at times, in his defence he did come and find me today and apologise for his reaction. We've had a very wobbly start to the year so I think I must've caught him at a bad time. I guess it's one of those.

He enquired about my plans and I explained I was undecided. He knows my history so has said just to follow any medical advice, and it is his job to deal with unexpected surprises. He suggested he may even look to have someone in place as early as January just in case (if he can find someone).

Feeling a lot more positive about work today. Let's see how long that lasts.

@PurpleFlower1983 ah I view it as no wasted time as when it came to going back even though I had pretty much the full year last time I was not ready to leave DD.

Have you gone back yet? I'm envious of anyone who has managed to miss the drag of getting through September. (I say this as someone who works in a school with limited functioning IT, and incorrect timetables!)

@Yellowpolkadot I agree! I just wanted the extra week of pay! 😂

I’m going back at the end of October, DH and I are taking the full year bit with shared parental leave so he’s having the last 4 months.

Awww 🥰 enjoy your time left.