Waiting for an ambulance that we probably don't need

[TheoriginalLEM]

So my mum is 83 and doesnt feel well today. So as not to drip feed there is a backstory that posters may recognise.

She called me she says her tummy huts and she has been sick. This is an issue as she addisionian and on steroid replacement so sick = bad in terms of her steroid levels.

She insisted I call 111 as she never copes when unwell. Again huge back story.

She has an anyerism so any stomach pain flags up for emergency ambulance with 111.

My gut feeling is tummy bug and a waste of resources. But I cannot refuse the ambulance because what if it is serious.

Waiting game now please chat to me

Paramedics will know what needs to be done. Just hang in there

Definitely the right call to make. Hope your Mum is okay

You've done the right thing.
Be on the safe side.
for your mum. She sounds like she's scared.

With kindness OP, you sound very jaded by all your DM's ailments, are you taking reasonable care of yourself as well as DM? Hope all is well

It’s not a waste of resources, paramedics will triage, it’s the best course of action
because it’s anxiety provoking

I have Addison’s disease. If she’s being sick and feels unwell she needs her emergency injection. Can you do this for her? Do not wait for the ambulance to do this.

Failing this she needs an immediate dose of 2 x whatever steroids she normally takes whilst waiting for the ambulance. You cannot hurt her by giving her too much in this situation.

www.addisonsdisease.org.uk/emergency

You've done the right thing. You don't know if it is serious or not, so you can only act on the safe side and call an ambulance. Have a cuppa and a hug while you wait

If your Mum has a stomach bug she needs to be admitted to hospital for IV steroids and IV medications, people with Addison’s need IV steroids with stomach bugs and severe illness otherwise it can be fatal. So ambulance is definitely needed for that alone.

Not a waste of rescources! She needs checking out. They will know exactly what care she needs.
I'd have done the exact same straight away. I hope everything is okay xx

Know how this feels but each incident needs to be checked by the professionals. We’ve been told many times in similar circumstances (86, long history of strokes and falls) by lovely paramedics that you should never worry that you’re wasting their time, it’s what they’re there for. Every incident could be the important one and the public isn’t qualified to assess.
Really hope your mum picks up soon and hang in there, I know how draining it is.

Fairylea we have spoken before about my mum. She had doubled up on her meds after she was sick. So that's good, i don't think it's a crisis at this stage.

Ambulance came quickly because of anyerism red flag and they pretty much felt as i did. This is likely a flair up.of ibs/diverticulitis and not too concerning however they sat vasillating with me over whether to take her in but felt they had to because of all the what its iyswim.

Yes I'm very jaded by it all. It's on going and I'm not coping. She isn't caring for herself and that side of things is worsening to the point that i cannot cope.

It’s good that she’s doubled up her meds.

Yes I remember your Mums situation well from your previous posts.

If they have taken her in and you feel the current situation cannot continue (rightly so, you cannot run yourself into the ground like this) then you need to refuse to let her return home without a proper care plan. Wasn’t she going to be admitted to a cottage hospital before? What happened to that plan?

So when i got to the hospital she was in the waiting area and hadnt been seen, this was two hours after going off in an emergency ambulance. had I known they were just going to leave her like that i would have just said to stay home. They didn't even call me to let me kniw.

Now i get it, they are overstretched but really?? 83 yo woman who can barely walk?? In a waiting room with fixed plastic chairs.? Loads of people waiting.

Fortunately she was triaged when i arrived as i was very close to being "That person" to kick off at his staff I was livid.

Anyway we were discharged at 1.30 am with no treatment. The blood tests that were taken just as i arrived, two hours after presenting in an ambulance with concerns re an anyerism [sic] were taken.

My mum absolutely fine by this time, until of course we got in the van home then we were back to the wailing and the help mes.

I am at the end of my rope

Could you contact her dr and get a care needs assessment . I I have been through this twice and its on my mind that in possibly less than 20 years down the line this will be me . We shouldn't have to feel like this about getting help and I think the constant guilt and worry and stress just wears you down .

Just a few things to think about with regards to the Addison's. I have Addison's and fully expect to have to increase my maintainence dose as i get older/more things wrong with me.

From what i recall of your posts about your mum she's had it for a fair number of years. Has she ever had a day curve done to see if her dose amount/timing is optimal for her?

I've had one crisis in the 20 years I've had Addison's, caused by a stomach bug incidentally, so, for me personally, I'd have taken extra HC and waited an hour to see how I felt. But please understand I don't have anything else wrong.

Does she have a blood pressure monitor you can use to give a bit of an indication as to what's going on with her cortisol. If you do use this as an indicator please be aware high blood pressure can be a sign of low cortisol before it dives in crisis.

Fast heart rate as well as anxiety can also be signs of low cortisol (but not yet at crisis point). So may explain your mum's stress at these times.

In my case, and I'm by no means saying your mum will be the same, taking around 20mg extra settles me down enough to think straight and stop panicking. I don't have anxiety in normal day to day living.

Wrt a&e there is a letter floating around the internet somewhere which you can get staff to sign saying they are refusing immediate treatment and should she suffer as a result of this they will be personally responsible. It usually does the trick.

Please don't feel the need to answer these questions here or even to reply. I hope the above helps even if it's in a small way. Good luck

This post does sound about your inability to cope and maybe you need to see a GP to get some help for both yourself and your mum.

I would be furious if ambulance messed about trying to decide whether to take my mum to hospital if she has an aneurysm. I presume you mean a AAA?

FFS, trying to decide whether to call an ambulance then them farting about and then her being left for a couple of hours in A&E is insane. If her aneurysm ruptured she would probably be dead as she would need to get into theatre super quick.

I doubt , from what the OP has said about her mums health that they would operate if her aneurysm ruptured as they would fall back on the ‘ co morbidities and frailty ‘ excuse . OP I know it’s hard but you need to get your mum to understand that she’s not coping and that you cannot be her carer before you ruin your own health and sanity .

When your mum was discharged at 1.30am how did she get home? Who did they think they were sending her home to?

I think you have to be really firm that you cannot provide care for her. I know it’s difficult- believe me, been there got the T shirt with my own Mum who had Crohn’s disease, manic depression, Adrenal insufficiency and copd- but unless you really spell it out to them that you CANNOT care for her they won’t step in and take over. They’ll just keep expecting you to do it.

When they discharge her you do have a right to refuse to facilitate this.

They won’t step in and take over anyway , they will at best organise a package of care which the OPs mum may or may not have to pay for depending on her financial situation and which she is likely to just cancel unless the OP spells it out to her that she will not be helping and then sticks to that . If the OPs mum has capacity then no one can make her do anything .

That is the issue she has cscapacity. In an ideal world I think the time has come for her to go into a home. The huge but with this is she simply won't accept it and even if she did (She wont) she is So difficult with such a bad temper that they would evict her.

She CANNOT move in with me. I might as well wave goodbye to my dp and dd if she did.

Also i don't want to be the person who sticks their elderly parent in a home. We did tgat with my dad when he had Alzheimer's and it was hell.

I cannot cope. I got home at 2am last night and was in work from 8 til 7 today. I've been round with paracetemol and a sandwich which she won't eat. She says she wants to call "those people" as she wants diazepam. She means 111 She called the Dr today who sent a nurse practitioner, i thought because she still felt unwell and it was because she wanted pills.

I told her they will take her to hospital I won't be going with her which I think has worked but I'm just sitting here dreading my phone ringing