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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Remove child from private nursery for a vacation

49 replies

Anagharao · 15/09/2019 16:28

My 3 year old toddler goes to a private nursery full time. We are planning to take a vacation for 3 weeks. The money we will have to pay the nursery during those 3 weeks is about £800. We are thinking of removing the toddler from nursery for those 3 weeks and rejoining after we get back. Any experience anyone can share with regards to this scenario please.
We have previously taken vacations and our toddler has missed nursery for up to 2 weeks - but she was doing part time only. We didn’t think about saving the fee then.
But £800 is quite a big sum and it would buy us flight tickets.
Just torn between saving money and coming across as silly in front of the nursery people.

OP posts:
Fluffsmum · 15/09/2019 17:39

you'll need to give notice (usually 1 month) and there is no guarantee of a place when you get back. Even if they have a place they may refuse you it because of this. Seems a very silly reason to do it.

Gollyfot · 15/09/2019 17:42

I beg to differ . Some nurseries completely u understand the financial pressure parents are under and are willing to work with parents to sort something out X

Alexandra07 · 16/09/2019 07:29

Discuss with the nursery for a reduced fee, e.g. half days or a discount, if you give them enough notice. Even if it's just a small discount for the food they will not have to buy for these 3 weeks.

Anagharao · 16/09/2019 10:41

Thanks everyone. This has given me a good perspective on the issue. I’m new to the UK and was struggling to bring this up with the nursery before understanding the repercussions.
I will contact the nursery and see what they have to tell. Keeping the place is the priority of course.

OP posts:
insancerre · 16/09/2019 10:44

Where I work we would offer you half fees for the 3 weeks
It’s worth asking the nursery

messolini9 · 16/09/2019 10:51

But £800 is quite a big sum and it would buy us flight tickets.

It's just as big a sum to the nursery as it is to you.
How can you think it's reasonable to withhold this revenue from them, while expecting your child's place to be kept open?

TequilaMockingbird0 · 16/09/2019 10:57

Really cheeky. It wouldn't even cross my mind to try and find a way out of paying the nursery fees we've committed to for the time we take DC on holiday.
Nursery can't just fill a random spot for 3 weeks.

Verily1 · 16/09/2019 11:06

The nursery are still providing the service. You are choosing not to use it.

They don’t save money by your dc not being there.

MyDcAreMarvel · 16/09/2019 11:09

Why would you ever think that would be acceptable?

Chillichutney1 · 16/09/2019 11:12

Just speak to the nursery and ask them if they can drop dcs days over the 3 week holiday period. We did this over the summer holidays and the nursery although they have a waitlist were happy to discuss options with us.

Daffodil2018 · 16/09/2019 11:14

No need for the bitchy responses, OP has got the message I'm sure!

Maryann1975 · 16/09/2019 11:29

I work in childcare and if you tried this trick with me, even if I hadn’t filled your space, I probably wouldn’t accept you back after that. Childcare settings still have outgoings, bills need paying, staff need paying etc. It wouldn’t be worth the risk of loosing the place in a setting you are happy with IMO.

CmdrCressidaDuck · 16/09/2019 11:52

If I were the nursery I would not give you the place back even if I had it to give, tbh. Would have zero time for being fucked about like that. I could only see it working where there is a significant surplus of nursery places and the nursery were desperate to hold onto parents, but most good nurseries have a waiting list.

By all means ask them if they can offer a discount for the period you're away, but just pulling them out and then expecting to get them back in is a dick move.

MabelMoo23 · 16/09/2019 11:58

Honestly I’m flabbergasted at the number of people who want decent childcare for their children but don’t want to pay for it.

If I tried to pull that trick, my 2 places would be gone 5 minutes after asking the question.

I tried to change my days in November last year as my working pattern wasn’t really working. I started my new pattern last week as no days were available before September. I’ve had to wait since November! But it’s a good nursery with a waiting list

leaserspottedmummybird · 16/09/2019 13:18

Vacation?? You must not be in the UK. I imagine it would be hard to get your place back op. Nurseries fill up quickly- there is always a waiting list.

GrannySquares · 16/09/2019 13:35

They will fill that space up. That's their rules, so you'll still have to pay the standard fee if you want to keep the nursery space. That's why I go CM. Flexibility, and only have to pay CM 50% of the fee when we go away on holiday.

zingally · 16/09/2019 14:06

There's likely something preventing you doing so in the T&Cs, otherwise everyone would do it.

More likely, you'll lose your place, and end up at the very bottom of a waiting list.

Tumbleweed101 · 16/09/2019 14:09

There are factors involved such as if your child receives a fully funded space, if you are paying the fee yourself etc. Most nurseries will require a holding fee for the place. You are best to talk to your nursery manager to find out their policy on this as there isn’t a standard one in private nurseries.

Legally speaking though, unlike school there is no restriction on taking holidays during term time.

TheDarkPassenger · 16/09/2019 15:24

Where in uk are you? We’re northern in a market town and nurseries don’t tend to have waiting lists here so you could probably get away with it, no guarantee of course!

Funny that everyone assumes only the bad nurseries have no waiting lists because the north is soooo different from the south! You could walk your kid into any school here and start as soon as the LA sign your paperwork

Drogosnextwife · 16/09/2019 15:27

If i was the head of that nursery I wouldn't give you the place back even if I had it. Compete cfery.

Topseyt · 16/09/2019 15:34

You could have problems getting your child back in if it is a popular nursery in a sought after place so if having the place is really essential to you then I wouldn't recommend your approach.

You will have to tell the nursery that your child will be absent for those three weeks anyway, so just ask them then and there if you need to pay the full fee or if you can pay a reduced one to just retain the place.

worriedandannoyed · 16/09/2019 16:20

Sorry but this is so out of order! They still need the same number of staff and have the same overheads to cover. And presumably you'll still be earning a salary so you can pay it, you just don't want to

insancerre · 16/09/2019 17:11

Look at it another way, which member of staff would you choose not to receive any wages for 3 weeks?
Because that’s the reality
And are you planning on not paying your broadband for 3 weeks or your gym membership?

Indie139 · 16/09/2019 20:11

I work in nursery admissions. Its fine to do this but if its a popular nursery then you risk losing your place. Another option would be to request to reduce sessions to the minimim allowed and then also state the date you wish to resume to your regular sessions so that you definately have a place to come back to. They may not accept this but its worth a try.

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