Or does anybody know where I can find it online? Happy to pay for constructive email advice on most effective strategies for dealing with this sort of thing
On the whole I'm usually happy with our relationship. My DH is main earner as I'm on extended mat leave. He does some housework (odd bit of kitchen cleaning and tidying, cooking some days) which I appreciate. He's generous financially, and we get on well and before DS did more than his share of housework etc, I tend to now because I'm at home and can.
I feel perhaps disproportionately upset at his terminology when it comes to looking after our DS. For example today we were due to have a family day out but I could see he was stressed so I suggested he do his hobby (no really - it is outing, it's not cycling) this morning which he did all morning. This afternoon I asked him to watch DS for a couple of hours so I could do some housework and he said things like "you want me to just sit here and watch him then?" and I explained that he could or could go out or whatever - it's what I do 24/7. He seemed huffy about it which he often does and it really upsets me even though I don't know why my reaction is so extreme. I think it's because I know I'll get this response nearly every time like it's a huge favour and it surprises me as we'd always felt very equal before. I tried not to show it because I don't think it's helpful but he asked if I was cross because I didn't want to do the housework! Which it isn't at all, I just wanted to get some stuff done which is particularly tricky with DS around (not impossible, just tricky and I feel like it's reasonable on a weekend afternoon for him to join in playing with DS)
How do I tackle this in an effective way? He isn't an arsehole - at least not about anything else whatsoever - so I feel ill equipped to deal with this. Then he says I'm nagging or moaning which is infuriating because I feel like I'm simply stating that I'd like his help and when, and only "moan" if he acts like it's completely unreasonable! Aargh!
This may be a petty example but it's one of many.