Bad language around a toddler- AIBU?

[winterplease]

DH in the kitchen adjacent to the living room washing up this morning. He smashed a glass and shouted 'oh fuck off cunt' in frustration. I went to the kitchen door and said 'it's so disgusting to use language like that in front of Ds please think about what you're saying when he's listening '. DS had followed me to the kitchen door and was stood behind me out of view and DH replied with 'oh piss off,'

I said that I meant it, I really don't like that horrible
Language around DS, he's two, picks up words easily, and DH should lead by example, DH replies 'piss off and dump me then'

DH and DS have now gone out for the day, I'm pregnant and feeling sick and tired so haven't joined them. I didn't want to make a big fuss in front of DS but I'm so so cross with the way that he spoke in front of DS and to me in front of DS.

Am I being pregnant and hormonal or would you feel upset over this? I don't know what to say to DH later, when they are home.

The first time not ideal but lots of people struggle with language in frustration especially if no one else was in the room. It would be the second time when your DS followed you in that would have annoyed me. He was being deliberate then and was being a cock instead of saying sorry.

YANBU. It is done now but I would be wanting an apology. Agree with the above that sometimes things slip out in frustration but it was the behaviour afterwards. He possibly reacted to being told off, effectively, when already frustrated but nonetheless it shouldn't happen. Let him cool off when out but be clear when he gets back that youd like an apology

Yeah I'd have probably told you to piss off too. Sounded really patronising. He's not another kid. Do you never swear when you drop something?

I’d say swearing in front of dc is the least of your worries OP.

I think going through to bollock him and say it was 'disgusting' was OTT. When he came back through why not just have a quiet word? "I know you were frustrated but DS heard you and he's starting to pick up language". He probably felt a bit shit when he realised that DS had heard and then you stood bollocking him. He didn't see DS behind you according to your OP so he didn't knowingly swear at you in front of him.
For some, swearing isn't that big a deal. I swear a lot at work and with my friends and occasionally let one slip out in front of DS, although I do catch myself most of the time. DH is the same.

The first time was in frustration, and I might have casually mentioned it later, in an 'oh haha, could you imagine if DS repeated what you said earlier in front of nursery/grandparents etc' kind of way. Going in there to specifically to tell him off while he was visibly annoyed was never going to go well, especially as you saw fit to chastise him in front of your toddler, he's not your other child.

Sorry but if I had just smashed a glass and swore out of frustration and you came in all sanctimonious I would have told you to piss off too, well actually I wouldn't have been that polite.
If it is something that really bothers you, try talking to him when he isn't in a clearly bad mood and your DS isn't in the room.

Agree actually, I think telling him off in that way in front of his child is very disrespectful too.

I'd have told you to get fucked too if you spoke to me like that.

Yeah I would have told you to piss off aswell. You can tell a child not to swear. He probably didn't even notice it.

I agree with you OP and I would also have spoken to DH about his language. Just imagine your DS breaking a toy and coming out with that disgusting language. For your DH to then tell you to pee off is very disrespectful to you.

You need to be on the same wavelength about parenting.

There is no need to swear in front of children. Parents are responsible for helping DC to learn how to communicate effectively and all that is being taught by foul language is that you (people in general, not you ) lack the ability to communicate articulately.

Hopefully your DH will simmer down and has time to think about it and will realise it isn't appropriate language to use where children live.