DH was self employed for about 10 years, but over the past 3 it became evident that what he was doing was never going to be profitable. In fact, there were periods where he would make big fat zero for months at a time, to the point where he had to ask his parents for money. Humiliating in your late 30s.
So, after many rows and plenty of sleepless nights worrying about money (for me!) he got a job. Accepted he’d have to start at the bottom to get into an industry he was interested in, but made a commitment to me to doing both that and going to night school to be able to progress.
Like many of us, he had a commute of about an hour each way. As he’d had no commute while self-employed and could set his own hours he quickly deemed this unreasonable (despite the fact I’ve been doing it my entire working life) and moaned about it every day.
A lesser paid (about £12,000 a year less) job came up at his company’s location closer to our home, meaning a half hour commute each way. He told me he was thinking of going for it even though it’s a more menial job and it would mean doing the night shift (7pm-6am Mon-Thurs). He says the location he’d move to is where all the higher ups are and there’s more potential for them to notice his work but we have just bought a house (using my salary only because he’s been such a financial mess) and we can’t afford the drop. He asked me what I thought—I told him on three separate occasions that it was not a good idea. On Thursday—he’s accepted the job and starts tomorrow.
AIBU to be so effing livid I can barely be in the same room as him? Not only the selfishness of taking that major pay cut but also the fact that he’s given zero consideration to what the hours will do to our marriage? Plus there will be someone in the house 24 hours a day now so our utility bills will essentially double. AIBU or is he being incredibly selfish?