My DH is a kind person. He will take the trouble to chat with neighbours and acquaintances and they often tell him their problems.
I’m pleased he’s such a considerate person.
Recently I have had to question his judgement and I just wanted some opinions on my attitude.
My DH has a colleague of many years standing. They worked on a project together 15 years ago and then spoke to each other occasionally over the years. We met his family once socially about 12 years ago and then had no further social contact.
Last year the chap had a serious car accident, his injuries are life changing. My DH has contacted his wife maybe four times offering help and support. She has answered kindly that she will let him know if she needs anything. I think my DH should let it drop now. By continuing to offer help I think he is adding to her problems as she has to think of an excuse each time.
We have a number of similar situations, coincidentally, going on at the moment where he wants to offer help and I think we might be overstepping the mark.
A neighbour down the road had a little weep to my DH when she bumped into him recently. Apparently her dd isn’t making the transition into secondary school very well and it’s troubling her. The child is being referred to an ecucational psychologist. I am qualified in a related field and my DH wants me to pop around and offer help to our neighbour. I don’t feel comfortable about this. I think she wanted to unload some of her worries and my DH was in the right place to help there and then. I think she might be horrified if I turn up on her doorstep Offering help.
Recently a very distant extended family member, who we have maybe seen twice in the last 20 years, rang my husband after he had heard his db, whom we have never met, has been diagnosed with a terminal ilness.
They had a long chat.
I don’t think the distant relative wanted anything more than that. My DH then’arranged to visit this distant relative. We have never visited him before.we drove 100 miles to visit Him. It was a pleasant visit, the ill brother wasn’t mentioned much. The relative didn’t seem to need to discuss his bother’s Illness and I felt a little bit awkward to be there really.
I have an ex colleague who’s DH has just had a huge stroke. I’ve contacted her to say I’m here if she needs me. I’ve not heard anything back after her initial thanks. My DH is now pushing me to keep in contact with her. I think if she needs me she will contact me.
Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems to me people sometimes just want a chat, they tell you what’s on their mind at that moment and they don’t want any more than that. AIBU?