To be annoyed

[stopgaphere]

I posted prevoiusly about my MIL comments. I am more concerend now as they have moved to where we live.
We moved here for work, after both being made redundant. At the time we were made redundant they said they couldn't help us, they wanted to enjoy their retirement. Ok, but gave us grief for moving here.
Then after a few years decided it was nice here and have moved up. Buying a new build 5 bedroom house, which is their money but I think is ridiculous for a retired couple.
Me and OH live in cramped rental accomodation, but we have made it a home.
My DH took my kids to the new house today and they are telling the kids to choose their bedrooms.
WTF, they don't even babysit them. We have no intention of staying over either.They have shown no interest in the GC, even choosing to spend their birthdays here doing more important things.
I said I wasn't happy with it when they forst mentioned it.AIBU

Are you sure it wasn't a lighthearted comment? Even if they are suggesting the kids stay over, the ball is still in your court. They dont have to go, unless you want them to.

So they haven't been great in the past but does that mean you aren't willing for them to try and make amends now? Wouldn't it be nice for your children to start building a relationship with their grandparents? Mine love going to stay at the Inlaws and they have their own rooms there.

I think you’re overreacting. It’s a nice thing to do and she’s trying to put in effort with the kids. What’s wrong with that? Also it’s none of your business what house they choose

Yes it is none of my business which house they choose, but my opnion is it's ridiculous.

Are you sure it wasn't a "which room would you choose?" Remark, which I've done with my DC rather than actually chose.

Is the bottom line here that you think the house is too big for their needs and as you are in cramped accommodation you secretly think they should be giving you money to upscale?

Perhaps now that the children are getting older they will want to babysit. It could be a matter of them not wanting/feeling up to caring for babies/toddlers.

TabbyMumz, they won't be going because they themselves don't want to anyhow. I just find it bizarre as they've not been keen to babysit.

AspergersEyes Definately not, they offered a deposit before, we declined.

So why is the size of the house an issue?

Unfortunatley it's too late to start a relationship with them now. My DS has had a lot of issues (ASD,ADHD) and MIL has been really unkind to him. He doesn't even want to visit anymore , let alone stay over.

AspergersEyes because it's supposed to be their retirment home, something for older age. I would have thought something within walking distance of shops etc and managable. But you need a car to get anywere (Housing estate) and alltheir other family are in a different city. They were clear they didn't want to help with childcare etc (fair eneough) Forgive me but I don't want to help them in later years either (Driving them, shopping for them etc etc) I want the same freedoms they have had.

They didn;t look after their parents either btw.

I don't think we can judge other's choices in terms of which house they buy. They clearly will be able to sell and move to something smaller/ elsewhere in the future if they want. The room thing - if your DC are old enough to choose whether to see their grandparents, they're old enough to take the question with a pinch of salt and no harm is done. I think the anger which you seem to feel is probably actually about something else - maybe the ways in which you feel that have let your OH down in the past? Actual real big ways?