to ask for a way to overcome my phone addiction?

[switcharoonie]

I'm on it far too much. Often doing things that need to be done - checking work emails, organising 'life admin' - online shopping, after school clubs etc. but indisputably more often, scrolling through MN and social media.

I don't want my 4yo to grow up remembering her mum forever on her phone. Now she's started school especially, and I'm soon increasing my hours at work, I want to spend all the time I have with her, with her. *
*
But I can't seem to help myself I have ADHD, which doesn't help with impulse control. I certainly used to have much more damaging addictions, before I had her. But I'm v easily bored, and I despise pretend play, which is all my DD wants to do. I do take her out somewhere every day we're not at work/ school - one of the main reasons for this is because I don't find it so difficult to fully 'be in the moment' with her at the woods or the park or whatever. And I do craft or bake with her a couple of times a week too.

But there are still hours where I'm glued to my phone, and I know the amount of time I spend on my phone is not good for either of us. I just can't seem to help myself I'm starting a new degree in a couple of weeks which means I'll be really pushed for time, and realistically I'll need to spend most nights studying. I can't keep picking up my phone and getting distracted. So that's another reason.

My ADHD is quite well controlled with medication throughout the day, but it has worn off through the night which seems to make my extreme MN/ Reddit scrolling even worse. My brain just needs constant stimulation, which I think these kinds of websites fulfils, but it isn't the best. I feel much better mentally having chilled out in front of the TV, but then I get bored through a slow bit and pick up my phone.

Has anybody got any top tips for beating their smartphone addiction? I know the majority of people don't have ADHD, so are able to at least watch TV, but I'm sure other people have noticed themselves using their phones too much, and managed to overcome it?

Thanks @switcheroonie that's very useful, I'm coughing up £650 for DS1 who's 21 to be assessed next week as there's no provision for adult assessment in our area according to the mental health nurse DS saw. He's a priority ATM as he's had so many false starts with education and work that it's a wonder he's not given up completely but I want to return to fine art, I did well at art school a long time ago, but floundered out in the real world without support and structure.

Yes, f2f apps in my area were a similar price, and then you still have to pay private prescription costs which are £££. I'd recommend having a look at that website. There are Oxbridge educated psychs etc. who just do this on the side in the evenings or whatever. Honestly couldn't recommend more.

I was reasonably OK when my boys were little, I found them very absorbing and their routine imposed structure on me to an extent but my house was very messy and there's no way I could have worked too ( I've never had a full time job 😳).

Oh you're better than me! I don't find mine absorbing at all love her to death and I've never met a kid funnier or more interesting (in my biased opinion obvs) but I've never understood mums who said their kid takes up all of their time. Think that's a testament to my under par parenting though. I'm alright at work, though I really struggled before I was medicated. Now, if I forget to take my tablet, I'll spend most of the day losing focus and procrastinating. But when I take it as normal, I see my coworkers bunk off and spend ages on their phones and judge them

Would you be willing to delete any social media? I got rid of all mine because the time I was spending on it was actually embarrassing don’t miss it at all now! And I don’t have really anything that makes me go on my phone now.

Oh my, I'm the same. It's like an addiction and compulsion and I'll find myself picking it up when I don't even want to but have little willpower. I know I will regret this time I have spent looking at my phone instead of spending it with my beautiful children. The only thing that has helped me is leaving it in another room such as my wardrobe or top kitchen cupboard and then walking away from it.

Can I ask what medication you take please? Pm if you’d rather.

Can’t believe how similar we sound.

I make a real effort to leave mine upstairs so can't constantly check it, only thing that's worked for me - good luck

Would you be willing to delete any social media? I got rid of all mine because the time I was spending on it was actually embarrassing don’t miss it at all now! And I don’t have really anything that makes me go on my phone now.

I'd probably think about deleting Facebook/ Instagram, but it's MN where I spend most of my time tbh. Which in a way is preferable, as I am now a staunch feminist with high standards who won't take shit from any man .. but if I delete it, I can just get it back again a few days after - it's not like I'd lose all my friends or followers or whatever. So it's really self control I need to work on, I think.

Can I ask what medication you take please? Pm if you’d rather.

I take 50mg Elvanse (lisdexamfetamine). It's long release - I usually take it at 7am, and the effects wear off for me around 4 or 5pm. Hence why I'm saving for my psychiatrist to prescribe a top up IR (short release) medication so I can study in the evenings.

But it's amazing. I've tried several anxiety/ depression meds over the years and it's completely different. It helps from day 1. And I think ADHD medication (in some form, there are a few different ones to try) helps in something like 90% of cases. Wayyyy higher than MH meds or similar.

Don't feel bad OP, it's more a reflection of my tendency to get obsessed about things rather than top notch parenting, I had three five and under so very full on. I'm a very creative person so quite good at thinking up activities but I wasn't always patient and could be short with DS1 ( the one with suspected ADHD) who switched between Tigger and anxious Eeyore. I also have another with ASD and got so wrapped up with getting him help that I missed the extent of DS1s problems...so not such a brilliant mother really...I could list many things that got neglected but I did enjoy the cuddles, stories and walks.

@switcharoonie lucky you for getting the meds (not having it obviously). I definitely have it and saw a psychiatrist recently but he basically said it doesn’t cost me anything to diagnose you but if could do you a lot of harm to have that diagnosis because of the career I’m training in. So ...citalopram for me, which I’m still waiting on incidentally

Placemarking

I'm the same

Get rid of the phone and get a small cheap one that has no internet, just calls and texts.