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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

fed up of being lonely. So what wrong with me?

1 reply

lavenderbongo · 14/09/2019 19:12

I’m 44. Emigrated over ten years ago and left family behind, just moved with DH and my two DDs.
I made two close friends after a couple of years living here. Met through kindergarten and school as kids were the same age. We used to meet up for coffee and had a few nights out a year. We would chat about our kids, families etc...thought we were close. Even spent Christmas together with one of them as both expats.
In the last two years I decided to send my girls to a different secondary school and I started working full time. My two friends still work part time and their kids go to the sane secondary school. Since then we have seen less of each other but our kids remain friends.
Yesterday they both popped round as it was DDs Birthday and their kids had been invited. Whilst we were chatting it becomes obvious that they had been meeting up without me. They’d clearly been shopping together and been to a quiz night that one of them had told me about and said she’d invite me but didn’t. Quite frankly this made me feel like shit.
In the last few months I have leant this friend my car for the weekend and looked after their guineas pigs for a few weeks. Which I don’t mind doing but now feel rather used.
I understand that they have more in common with each other - I don’t drink and they both like to - but I thought they enjoyed my company.
I just feel rather lonely. It was nice to have people to chat to. I have had a tough year, health wise and would have shared this with these two but I’ve not had the opportunities to do so as we have not done anything together.
I’m a bit shy, and it takes me a long time to make friends. I thought I had some good ones but it appears I was wrong.
Or am I expecting too much?

OP posts:
Snowy111 · 14/09/2019 19:18

There’s nothing wrong with you. It is hard for most of us to make friends. If I’m honest drinking probably helps!

But you do need to get out there to find friends who you click with - you probably need to widen your circle to find your people.

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