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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed at my partner!

28 replies

Bigbluebear33 · 14/09/2019 18:45

My partner and I had plans to do something for today with our kids. His father phones who he never hears from asking him to go out for a meal he says yes all our plans are cancelled. I told him I was not going for the meal. He took our kids with him instead. He told me I was selfish. Am I wrong to feel upset we never get time together as family been busy working all week. Anyone else been in the same situation?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/09/2019 18:47

It’s a hard one but if he rarely hears from his father maybe he wanted to grab the chance?

Surely you could have gone with them then done something nice afterwards?

user1473878824 · 14/09/2019 18:47

Sorry but YABU and stroppy. He never hears from his dad so yes, probably does want to see him. He is also DP’s family. You should have sucked it up and gone.

SimplyBeBlythe · 14/09/2019 18:50

You are not wrong to feel upset, but you are wrong to not go to the meal. I’m guessing this man is your children’s grandad who they don’t see often? I would have gritted my teeth but gone along and talked to my husband later about how I felt.

MrsMaiselsMuff · 14/09/2019 18:52

Why didn't you go for the meal? It's you that has cancelled the family time, not him.

june2007 · 14/09/2019 18:53

I think you are being selfish, this is still family time.

adaline · 14/09/2019 18:55

But you could have had family time if you went for the meal....

roseunicornblower · 14/09/2019 19:05

Why does he never hear from his dad?

VladmirsPoutine · 14/09/2019 19:07

Yabu unless there's a massive drip feed coming about how awful his father is. You could have still gone and had 'family' time. Don't be so stroppy.

NoSauce · 14/09/2019 19:09

You can go out any time with DH and the DC surely? It’s a bit childish to strop like that. Are you very young?

LucyAutumn · 14/09/2019 19:10

The phrase 'cut your nose off to spite yoir face' springs to mind, sorry OP, I think you've been a tad unreasonable here.

TidyDancer · 14/09/2019 19:12

You wanted time together as a family and that's what was being proposed. So you decide to strop and not go. Not sure what you think you've achieved here tbh? You've walked away from family time to be upset about not having family time.

Singlenotsingle · 14/09/2019 19:15

He could have said we're all going out for a meal, but df was welcome to join you.

Angrybird123 · 14/09/2019 19:19

Against the grain but I think YANBU.. Unless there is some really good reason why he's rarely 8n touch I think it's presumptuous of FIL to call and assume you're at his disposal. The OPs husband could have easily said, great to hear from you, really want to meet up how about tomorrow or x? We have a lot on today. If the father is that fussed he'll work around you a bit.

LL83 · 14/09/2019 19:26

Your husband must have been delighted/desperate to hear from dad and jumped at opportunity to see him. I would be annoyed his dad makes him feel like that and supported dh.

Oysterbabe · 14/09/2019 19:48

His dad is part of your family. Why didn't you go and enjoy a meal together?

Ginger1982 · 14/09/2019 19:57

YABU and a bit of a stroppy teenager to stamp your feet and refuse to go.

Original poster
Bigbluebear33 · 14/09/2019 20:14

He dosent ever hear from his father on birthday or Christmas or ever. He has new partner started playing happy families. My partner dosent take much to do with him either. On this occasion it's a special occasion and it's a free meal thsts why my partner jumped at the chance and no his dad ain't the grandfather of my children. I dont see the point and gritting my teeth playing happy families.

OP posts:
dowehaveastalker · 14/09/2019 20:25

backstory?

jelly79 · 14/09/2019 20:27

I understand why you feel disappointed but I think the right thing would of been to go for the meal so you DP could see his dad. Regardless of what you think of his dad it's clear he wants to see him and that's fair enough. You should of been more supportive this time

Original poster
Bigbluebear33 · 14/09/2019 20:52

I dont know his dad much only met him two or three times. I have been with my partner for 5 year. I think I am more upset as we had a family trip planned for my birthday. my partner works away from home and I work all week too. It been arranged for along time. Anyway yous are right I could of went but I couldn't sit and play happy families I would of been miserable. I have enjoyed my day relaxing for a change

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 14/09/2019 22:47

Well. Glad you had a nice time even if your husband had to explain why his stroppy wife wasn’t there.

welliesarefuntowear · 15/09/2019 06:12

OP, there are some horrible fuckers in Mumsnet but, however pedantic this sounds you should have put your last post in your first. It was your birthday treat? Yanbu. I really feel for you.

meccacos2 · 15/09/2019 06:34

It was your birthday treat, then you’re right to be pissed and your partner did the wrong thing. However, your partner still took our children (who are not his) and his father paid the tab?

meccacos2 · 15/09/2019 06:34

Took out children

Beautiful3 · 15/09/2019 06:37

You had a trip planned for your birthday and he cancelled it to eat with his dad who rarely sees him?! I would be upset op.