AIBU to ask for advice on anxiety/depression medication?

[bullseye2018]

I realise I need to speak with an actual doctor about this, but I'm interested to hear from those who are taking something. Though hopefully there are some doctors on here who can also weigh in on this too.

I'm under a lot of stress. I have been for a long time. It's circumstantial rather than chemical. A lot of things are going wrong in my life. I don't really want to go into the reasons, but they are significant and very difficult and slow to fix, but I do have the wherewithall to take steps to change my POV and my circumstances. I'm doing this, but it's slow and once I make headway I get hit with another significant whack of bad news that floors me. I'm totally run down.

I used to be a very calm person and can feel myself slipping. I'm fed up, tired, low, angry, self-esteem shot to shit, physical symptoms of stress starting to manifest, feel like I'm walking through quicksand sometimes etc etc.

I have felt anti-anxiety/depressants were a last resort and didn't imagine I would take them. Only now I feel I might need to think about doing just that. I started crying and shaking at the dentist today, something previous bullseye would never, ever do. I was never a crier. And I'm not even afraid of the dentist.

I've seen a psych on and off, but don't feel it's been particularly effective.

I'm worried about the side-effects of these medications. I'm worried about this affecting my medical record (the stigma/making me look bad etc). I'm worried about people knowing. I'm worried about the medications making me worse. I'm worried I will lose myself and my creativity in them.

Can people please let me know your experiences?

Can i just ask your age are you in perimenopause?

I have tried St John's wort it seems to help me

@user87382294757 I'm 41, but it's not hormonal. It's definitely related to my circumstances.

How much STW do you take? Any side effects? How so did you notice a difference and what was that difference?

*SJW

I’m in a similar sounding situation. I was signed off work for a couple of months during which I worked on coping mechanisms, finding friends I could trust with my problems, physical fitness and just taking time out to rest. I also went of fluoxetine (Prozac). I’m back at work on a phased return and doing ok. When the next disaster strikes (which it will) I hope I will be more resilient and cope better. The drugs are fine. Just take the edge off and make it easier to manage. HTH

I started on sertraline 10 days ago after several years of on/off depression and anxiety and just generally feeling that I was always behind..... always looking forward to the next day off or holiday or course - anything that would provide a break from the relentless grind of issues, emails, papers....

It’s too soon to say what impact they’re having on my symptoms, I just wanted to say that side effects so far have been very minor and bearable and are already reducing.

Overall, I feel quite upbeat about starting them, having resisted them in the past. I have tried really hard over several years to manage my MH with counselling and lifestyle - but I keep on slipping back and it’s so wearing. The meds hold out the promise of it just not being so hard.

I took citalopram twice, once in my late 20s when I had a breakdown and once for PND after DD1.

The first time I went on them was really hard for about a month, I couldn’t really function. Everything felt heavy and difficult. But the fog started to lift and I got a distance on the chaos in my head enough to seek proper therapy and work through the stuff that had overwhelmed me.

It’s not a quick fix, I think some of us have long journeys with MH often caused by trauma in early age. For me it meant unravelling my childhood and teens, I ended up diagnosed with CPTSD as well as PTSD and had trauma therapy a few years ago to try and rewire my brain. There are often many different approaches needed to feel ok, and a certain balance of finding the coping tools you specifically need. For me it’s been cutting out toxic people, finally learning to hold boundaries and say no, stop people pleasing and practice self care when possible. Sounds simple but it’s not, and it’s 7 years since my first round of anti depressants too. I find things improve then unravel, then improve then unravel, until you figure out what really is causing the unraveling. And it’s often as ‘simple’ as a handful of people and/or coping mechanisms. But there’s nothing simple about changing those things and it doesn’t happen overnight.

If you feel very very low, almost suicidal, can’t see a way forward or any meaning in your life, then anti depressants can give you a break from the chaos in your head to try and figure out how to love life again, if that makes sense. But they aren’t going to fix the underlying issues, you have to work on them alongside. And the side effects can be horrid. I’m a creative person too I totally lost my creative spark. But then once I was much better and off them and had all this energy and life in me I ended up more creative than ever and have lots to be proud of and show for my life.

Hope that maybe helps a bit. Big hugs x

In your 40s...it could be that as well, (hormones) sometimes- it can all add together into the mix. I am more sensitive to stress and anxiety at 43.

I take 425mg SJW a day, one tablet at the mo. I am unsure how much it helps or placebo- I do believe in it as it is prescribed in Germany

Was on prozac many years but it turned on me and started making me more anxious. It s quite stimulating. There are others with are less so, but I found they made me gain weight.

I really urge you not to discount peri-menopause, op. It causes all sorts of issues, especially increased anxiety, and no, you are not too young for peri-menopause. It's a stage of life that can last years and years.

www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/113666670/perimenopause-lead-up-to-menopause-very-uncomfortable-and-poorly-understood

I can relate to what you're saying.

I've had various periods in my life where circumstances have conspired to make me anxious and depressed.

I have been on sertraline (worked well, no side effects) and mirtazapine (worked better, no side effects and makes me drowsy so helps with the sleepless nights.)

You asked about the stigma of being on ADs - there isn't one that I have found. It is on my medical records but so many people have been on them or are currently on them, that it isn't at all unusual.

I have just recommended to my DS that he needs to see his doctor to ask for ADs/treatment. He was very reluctant but has (finally) made the appointment.

His reasons for not going were the same as yours - stigmatisation etc. But he needs some help at the moment and it sounds like you do, too.

I hope things start to get better for you soon.

I’ve been on more than one different antidepressant. The side effects were minor and mostly went away after a month or two. They didn’t make me ‘lose creativity’ - if anything, they helped me regain the creativity and sense of self that I’d lost through mental illness.

As you generally don’t go ever have to share your medical records with an employer, stigma isn’t really an issue. If you ever did have to have some sort of medical screening I strongly doubt an ordinary antidepressant would even raise an eyebrow. Other than that, you don’t have to tell anyone you’re on them if you don’t want to.

I think a lot of people still think antidepressants are all the old school ones from the 70s that make you feel sedated and ‘numb’. But there is no way you would get given those these days with the symptoms you describe. You’d get given SSRIs which are very, very different.

I'm a therapist and all therapists are different. Would it be worth changing to a different type of talk therapy? If you're having cbt try counselling, etc.

Thanks for all your replies.

I don't think I'm too young for peri-menopause, but I also think anyone in my situation with as many stressors as I have would struggle to stay centred and upbeat. So while there may be hormonal issues it would just be a part of it.

@dollydaydream114, can I ask which AD you've been on and which you felt helped the most/tolerated the most?

@AliceAbsolum I have thought perhaps I should try a different therapist. I'm not really sure how mine (she's a clinical psych) categorises her therapy and she's great to talk to, but I don't really feel I'm taking much away from the sessions. Feels more like an outlet for me to talk.