AIBU to say this is not enough food for my DS?

[GrannySquares]

My DS is 3 years old and is a very energetic but he really enjoys his food. He eats quite a lot because that's all he asks for so of course I do give him it and it is always healthy like cheese sticks, fruits etc. He goes to CM during the week and he absolutely loves it there but I feel like she only gives him very little food. A typical menu is for breakfast he has cornflakes, a snack will be an apple, and lunch is a sandwich. After, a snack will be a biscuit and a pear and dinner is whatever they have there. When he comes home, he is starving and he asks for food so I give him more dinner which he demolishes and he will also have pudding for after. Surely he shouldn't be coming home starving? I am paying a separate fee for him to have meals so why is he coming home, ravenous? Is he just greedy? He love going there and she's such a lovely lady so I'm going to feel bad if I ask her to feed him more

That’s a lot less than mine gets at nursery. She tends to have cereal and toast for breakfast, a snack which is often fruit or yogurt. Lunch is something substantial like a roast. Then there is an afternoon snack and dinner is normally lighter- something like rolls and ham. She often still needs a banana when she gets back.

My son is 2 and could demolish that and have more!

Banana cornflakes have little nutritional value. They're not something that will energise a child or an adult for long. Something better would be porridge with fruit or eggs of some sort.

My 2.5 DS would need more than that too, just mention he's hungry when he's gets home so could she up his portion sizes, surely she won't mind and wouldn't want to see a child go hungry!

That doesn’t sound much at all for an active toddler.
DS aged 1 would eat:
Toast, cereal and fruit for breakfast
Fish fingers, veg, fruit for lunch
Cottage Pie, Cauli cheese, peas and carrots for tea.

Snacks of yogurts, raisins, rice cake, crackers or similar

On Wednesday my 3yo ds ate the below (before you think I'm weird, I was keeping track to compare with a friend who's worried about her daughters intake).

7.30am 30g Porridge (made with ss milk), small bowl mixed berries & 1 x small cup ss milk

11.30am 2 mini sausage rolls, 1 sweet potato croquet, 3 table spoons spaghetti hoops, small yoghurt, 2 x small cups of water

5.00pm Childs plate of Macaroni cheese, 2 bits garlic bread & 4 plum tomatoes
Slice of Watermelon, 1 x small cup orange squash

6.00pm 1 x small cup milk

He didn't have any snacks that day but ate slightly more at meal times instead.

Is there no fruit or yoghurt with the cereal or sandwich? What's in the sandwich? Cornflakes aren't very filling.

I’ve never known a nursery offer eggs or porridge, it’s all cereal. My 5 year old is quite happy with just cornflakes because he’s not a big breakfast eater. Surely it depends on the child.

OP is that the set menu or what you’ve been told he’s eaten? Is he offered anything else?

Child gets home ready for his tea shocker!

I'd expect my child to be ready to eat when they get home. That's why we have a meal at that time of day. If it takes a while to get it ready can you not just give him a snack?

DS is nearly two and has the following (he's tall, active etc)

Toast and cereal for breakfast
Fruit and more cereal or toast again at nursery
2 course hot home cooked nursery lunch
Milk in afternoon at nursery
Afternoon tea at nursery - bagels or crumpets or sandwich
Light dinner with us like soup and fruit
More milk to go to bed with

Portions aren't massive but lots of regular food. Plus snacks like babybel, raisins, biscuit etc

I have a tiny two year old and that wouldn't even be enough for her. Its ridiculous.
A sandwich alone is not lunch at that age. They either need a knife and fork meal, or something more than a sandwich. If a sandwich us given, they should have cut up carrots and tomatoes and cucumber are something and fruit or a yoghurt.
I font know how many kids the childminder us looking after but maybe she cant be bothered to give more food as it takes ages and is messy etc rather than the cost. Maybe she has no idea.
Different children eat hugely different amounts but that isnt enough IMO as a generalisation

My son is 18 months old..
At his childminders he gets 2 weetabix with milk for breakfast
Snack - fruit and yogurt/ Toast
Lunch - pizza/ pasta/ sandwich and grapes/ cucumber sticks/ carrot sticks/ custard for dessert
Snack - rusk/ wafers/ melty puffs / cheese cubes/ dry cheerios (depends on the day and how hungry he is or if they are out)

Dinner he gets at home but again something like rice/ potato/ beans / pasta (+whatever meat/ veg I manage to successfully hide in it)

Bottle of milk before bed..

He's normally weight for his height.

@sleepyhead unless I've misunderstood, the op says the child gets dinner at the childminders. Where I live, dinner is the evening meal.
So he shouldn't really need anything after that, if he's being given enough, except perhaps a cup of milk.

Lunch is just a sandwich, of course he is hungry. I don’t think it’s enough food for anyone over the age of maybe 18 months.

My dd has breakfast at home. Then breakfast, lunch, dinner and 2 or 3 snacks at nursery. She then usually has another dinner at home! She's normal weight age 3 and just needs it all.

That would not full my son who is 2.

For breakfast he has a banana and a bowl of Shreddies.

Snack is bread sticks and cream cheese.

Lunch is a wrap/sandwich, fruit and a yoghurt/small biscuit

Snack again something carby like porridge fingers or some fruit.

Tea is whatever main meal we're having. Something like sausage mash and veg with either a yoghurt or small biscuit (alternates whatever he didn't have at lunch)

Then he still has milk before bed.

He is a very active and skinny toddler!

My son is older now (5) but that wouldn't be enough for him and nor would it have been at 3. He is very tall for his age and skinny but was born at 9lb 6oz so has always been on higher centiles.

On a typical day, he would have:

Breakfast :

Weetabix with semi skimmed milk, cup of milk and either toast/mini malt bread/Apple.

Fruit and milk at school snack time (mid morning)

School lunch - obviously varies but things like sausages with mash and beans, cucumber sticks on the side and then fruit/yogurt for dessert.

School milk in the afternoon.

Then when he gets home he has a snack - cheese/fruit/crackers etc.

Then dinner with us - typically something like cottage pie/lamb chops with veg/potatoes etc. Followed by yogurt.

He then has a banana and milk at bedtime!

Looking at it that looks loads - decent portions too but as I say, he is very tall and a perfect weight for his height. He's very active and just seems to need a lot of food! Always has.

I would maybe mention that he seems very hungry or send a packed lunch. Can have weetabix for breakfast - might be more filling?

I would ignore the couple of people chucking around ridiculous accusations of her pocketing the money and 'not being bothered to feed him properly because of the mess'. You say she's lovely so I doubt anything sinister is going on.

As an ex childminder, you should definitely have a chat with her. What are the portion sizes like? Is he actually eating all he's offered? Can he have seconds if he asks? If its a busy setting with lots going on, he may be too distracted to eat much. He may also be saving himself for home if he's filling up there.

It's very hard to say if what he's having is 'too little' without knowing portions and what's on offer and whether he's actually finishing what's on offer. My typical menu for kids that age would be cereal for breakfast, toast and fruit as a mid morning snack, sandwiches/soup/jacket potatoes/eggs for a lightish lunch. I'd offer fruit or yoghurt if they ate it all and were still hungry. Mid afternoon snack was usually fruit. Dinner would be a hot meal like a mild curry/roast dinner/spag bol type thing. Anyone who wanted seconds could have it. Again, fruit or yoghurt offered if finished. We'd sometimes have pudding as a treat - crumble/ice cream, that type of thing.

I remember one family saying their kids would come home asking for more food and querying it. I was offering them meals based on things they liked. They would refuse and then dad would stop for chips on the way home or give them biscuits. Hence fuelling the refusal of my food.

My 2 year old eats more than that, he can easily demolish 3/4 weetabix for breakfast. Cornflakes aren't at all filling, they need changing for something else at the very least. My little boy would be starving on that diet and he's just average size for his age.

My 3 year old will have
9oz milk first thing
A brioche/croissant/crepe for breakfast (he’s fussy at breakfast time)
Cheese and crackers at nursery for snack
Packed lunch of sandwich, a few crisps, pot of fruit, cereal bar and yogurt
Dinner is usually pasta, or meat potatoes and veg, or spag Bol etc. And a pudding of biscuit/small cake/ice cream.
Then still has 9oz of milk at bed.

Sounds fine. Surely you dont expect her to provide all his food?

The Op pays extra for his food

As a childminder I can honestly tell you that, no matter what the children eat here, they always ask for more food at home later.

Now I just do after school (3-6) and they have snacks as soon as they get in (pringles, or cheese, or fruit, or sandwich etc) and at 5:00 I serve dinner which could be a roast (meat, 2 veg, mashed and roast potatoes, Yorkshire's, gravy) lasagne with salad and garlic bread, Sausage, mash, veggies and gravy or some sort of vegetarian dish like rice/chick pease/chilli and a dessert to follow. They are allowed to, and often do, have seconds.

Sometimes they are asking for food as they leave. Most of them definitely eat again before bed. You need to top him up yourself or ask the minder to give him more. Children of this age can eat their body weight in an Day

And I have teenagers. It gets worse the bigger they get.

Meant to say that when I had the children full time (before starting school) they would also have a full cooked breakfast, mid morning snack and a lunch of sarnies/crisps/fruit/yoghurt, as well as the dinner in the evening

Much too little. My DS went to nursery where they got a cooked meal for lunch. So at three he would be eating:
Breakfast at home - porridge or cereal, fruit, yogurt
Morning snack at nursery - wholemeal toast and fruit
Lunch - pasta bolognaise and fruit
Afternoon snack - crackers, cheese/ham, fruit
Dinner with us - sometimes something substantial like sausage, carrots, potatoes, sometimes something smaller e.g. soup and sandwich, scrambled egg etc

So he shouldn't really need anything after that, if he's being given enough, except perhaps a cup of milk.

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