People leaving dogs at home while they are at work

[Sparkles57]

AIBU to find it appalling when people go to work all day and leave their dogs home alone?

I have two and work full time and I spend a small fortune on daycare for them through the week. If I’m out at the weekend I’ll leave them for 5 hours max, any longer and I’ll pay someone to drop in and let them out etc.

I’ve noticed lately from people talking at work it seems to be the norm for people to just leave their dogs in the house when they’re at work! 10 hours alone seems really cruel to me, so I’m really surprised by the blasé attitude a lot of people seem to have to it.

On the other hand, mine are kept downstairs at night so they are on their own for a good 9 hours whilst I’m in bed, so maybe I’m just being a judgey bastard?

Agreed. Not only is it cruel to the dogs, but also a menace to neighbours (I’m a night shift worker and fed up of dogs barking all day due to being left alone). I think your situation at night is fine - dogs have to sleep too and will know you are all in the house.

I tend to agree with you - we leave our dog for ideally no more than 4 hours at a time! We use a dog walker during the days I work and if we plan on a whole day out and the dog isn't with us then he goes to our dog sitter! Like you though he stay downstairs over night or more precisely sleeps on the the bottom step! I wouldn't want to leave him for longer without interaction and the ability to go to the toilet!

Well YANBU but some people that work full time would not be leaving their dogs for 10 hours. Some people have different shift than their partner or can bring their dog to work with them. My DH already had the dog when we got together and we worked shifts so he worked 6am-2 and I worked 2-10. Before we lived together he was at my MIL house so wasn’t alone there either. DH and I worked for the same place and it went into administration. He got another job and I was unemployed for 7 months so dog was never alone then either. We also had a roommate at the time who was happy for the dog to spend time with him. There was a time where he had to spend 8 hours alone during the day (staggered shifts but not opposite). I cannot trust him with daycare or a dog walker as he is aggressive with other dogs. Now, we work staggered shifts and mine are flexible and I work 10 mins away so can come home or work from home. He can also come to my work but I have only done it a couple of times because he hates the sound of the phone and barks at it which means I can’t hear clients when they call me (as hilarious as some of them did find him ). So sometimes circumstances change and we have tried to do the right thing with regards to the dog. I know some people will say we should have got rid of him when we weren’t at home during the day but honestly he would have ended up in a bad situation as he isn’t an easy dog at the best of times. Re the aggression - yes we have seen multiple trainers on this issue. Basically it just is who he is. We know how to manage it but don’t want to push him into a situation he is uncomfortable with. He would not enjoy daycare or a dog walker. So in conclusion, if you know you are out of the house 10 hours a day every day just why the hell would you even want a dog?! I would say get s cat but our cat would very much mind if we were out of the house that long too. Ok, I’ve rambled enough.

I’ll probably get flamed for this but it depends on the dog.

Dog walkers and dog daycare are both relatively new (last 10 years maybe) and people had dogs and worked before then.

Some dogs are fine to be left all day, happy pottering about the house and playing with toys, others are too highly strung or need more attention.

We used to have 2 DDogs I used to leave at 8 DH would walk them for an hour and leave at 9, I would be home about half 4 and DH at 6. They were both absolutely fine. If we were going to be late back one of us would go home at lunchtime and walk them, if DH was going somewhere suitable he would take them on site with him. That was pretty normal 15/20 years ago. One lived to 14 and the other to 16, both happy and healthy.

My neighbours leave their dog for hours on end while they go to work/take the kids out
The soundtrack to living in our house is the poor thing locked outside in all weathers howling and barking to be let back in
We’ve offered to have him while they go out and got told to ‘wind our necks in’
I rang the rspca-they just put a letter through the door,next door rang them not long after so they see it as everything is ok
He’s left for 12+ hours a day
It’s cruelty and they just don’t care
Don’t get a dog if your not willing to look after it

It does depend on the dog but personally I’d like to see more dogs being shared - too many families and elderly people don’t have pets because of the cost, time and responsibility it takes, and if two families shared a dog it would be great for all concerned. It’s a big responsibility but so rewarding to have a pet.

It's very cruel, people will say, 'oh they sleep all day'or a 'walker comes in once a day', that's not enough, dogs get very lonely and anxious. Its selfish to get a dog when you are both full time.
Some dogs are highly I intelligent so start to get habits or anxiety.
I have a border collie and a caucasian shepherd, both each end of energy levels, but both would get upset and lonely if left for too long.

DH works from home but travels from time to time. DDog copes just fine (we have cameras so we can see). He might be a little bored but has never displayed any destructive or anxious behaviour.
As a pup he did go to work with DH (different circumstances before DH started working at home). However, I do think it's very much dependent on the individual dog and to some degree, good training

To clarify, I'm guessing that he might be bored. On cameras we see him move from sunny spot to sunny spot all day

Yanbu

In 'the olden days' families rarely had dogs as people seemed to know they were a tie and needed someone to be home a lot.

Nowadays however, in line with the 'we want it we can have it' society we live in, people buy dogs who really have no business owning one.

I think some people completely compartmentalise their lives and don't think for a minute about what the dog is doing or going through while home alone for hours on end. Sad, very sad.

As a pp has said, i think it depends on the dog. We try not to leave our boy for more than 5 hours and will have someone come and play with him/take him him out if we have to be out for longer. But on the odd occasion where he has had to be left for 8-9 hours we know (pet cam) that he's perfectly content. To be honest whether we're there or not he spends most of his time snoozing, only really gets up to move to a different place to snooze! A good walk in the morning, a shorter one in the evening and he mostly wants to be left alone anyway!

We have three dogs and we both work full time. However, we have opposite work patterns (DH works nights). So the dogs are rarely left for more than an hour or two. However, regardless of whether we are home or not, they do spend a rather large portion of their time asleep. Ours are toy breeds so I don’t know if that makes a difference.

I work nights and my dogs are 'put to bed' the same as they are when I'm at home and I'm back in the morning at roughly the same time as I'd get up to them.
I have to wake the older one as she doesn't hear me come in, and the younger one is usually stretching and yawning sleepy eyed as I come through the door and disturb him. They're walked and fed and baskets put in the hallway while I sleep, which they ignore and go downstairs to sleep on the sofa walked and fed again before I go to work.
I did spend time and effort getting them into this routine, and I wouldn't do it with one dog.
I find that the dog's like the ones described in the OP lack much sort of care at all, and they're not trained or looked after properly full stop.
And I'm on good terms with my neighbours, I ask regularly if the dogs have been a problem ever through the night and the answer is no.

I can’t win. I used it work from home when DDog was younger but circumstances meant I had to work out of the home from when he was 8. I enquired about rehoming him but got loads of shit for it from friends so kept him and now I’m cruel because he’s left at home.

If you care that much about him being left alone maybe you will give him a good home? Feel free to PM.

Some dogs are fine to be left all day, happy pottering about the house and playing with toys

No they're not. The just can't tell you about it.

Even the most chilled-looking dogs are bored, unhappy & stressed when left alone all day. If you were to measure their cortisol levels you'd get the true picture.

He might be a little bored but has never displayed any destructive or anxious behaviour.

Again, just because he doesn't display it, doesn't mean he's not feeling it.

I do think it's very much dependent on the individual dog and to some degree, good training

You can't train a dog not to miss you, or to not feel bored, unhappy & stressed. You can only train him to not show the signs.

I agree op. We have an anxious dog. He’s only completely happy when we are all home. Especially me. He definitely wouldn’t suit being left all day everyday. We have occasionally left him for the day but usually it’s 4 hours tops. Our dog before this would have coped much better. I once broke down unfortunately on a day out and left him for 13 hours, bless him. He was ok. But I could not have done this every day.

YANBU OP.

But - and i wince a bit to ask this - about 'Dog day care' ... it's all very upright and decent ect ect, but why get a dog if it's going to be in someone else's care 5 days a week every week? As well as leaving it alone at weekends sometimes?

It seems a strange and expensive hoop to jump through to be a dog owner.

mine are kept downstairs at night so they are on their own for a good 9 hours whilst I’m in bed, so maybe I’m just being a judgey bastard?

Yes you are - dogs should be in the presence of their humans at all times, they should be in your room preferably sleeping in your bed. If you can’t manage that, at least set your alarm a few times a night so you can get up and give them company at regular intervals. Leaving them on their own like that is just cruel. Why bother getting a dog if you don’t want to spend every waking/sleeping moment with it??

Depends I think people get in a twist about this. If you have a highly anxious dog with separation anxiety then not good. However your average pooch getting appropriate walks food and love then being left can be built up. Most people have to work these days.

I agree Op. Our DD is left for a max of 4 hours - anymore and the dog walker is booked. I know our DD would be miserable if left for long periods during the day.

Yanbu. I completely agree with LucieLucie's post upthread.

@messolini
No they're not. The just can't tell you about it.

If you halfway understand your dog you know when they are showing signs of stress. You don’t need to measure their cortisol!

Dogs have lots of ways of telling you that the are unhappy or stressed.

Yes you are - dogs should be in the presence of their humans at all times, they should be in your room preferably sleeping in your bed. If you can’t manage that, at least set your alarm a few times a night so you can get up and give them company at regular intervals.

Really can’t tell if this is a joke

Blimey vote is 50:50.

You are definitely not unreasonable OP. Dogs need company.