This is sort of light hearted sort of not. Just back at work after mat leave which I didn’t love as not brilliant at being home with the kids, money was tight following house move and was recovering from pretty dire pregnancy related mental health crap and then baby was hospitalised twice (rare blood thing and then meningitis) but thankfully all ended up ok. I was BF most of the time so did all the night feeds, hospitals stays where was impossible to sleep and do suspect much of this probably sleep related. DH is a lovely good man and excellent father but crap at cooking, planning, remembering plans and also weirdly laundry (ruined fave pricey hush jumper, dyed the whites grey-y pink etc) and think over mat leave I became quite martyr in terms of “well I’d better do everything” which I didn’t like at all but also sort of chose. During the mat leave he also went on one two night stag, one two night foreign wedding (we were both invited but didn’t work) and a couple of work trips staying in hotels. Baby ok sleeper but still yet to have one night unbroken sleep in eight months and am so jealous. I can soothe her in seconds when she wakes now with dummy and he does do his share ie all our toddler ds night wakings but just doesn’t wake when she stirs where I do. Back at work full time now which I love but job is full on and he has been off for two weeks doing nursery settling. He seems calm and on top of it all and yes, kids mainly in childcare now not at home, but just seems to be this natural easy going parent who ds definitely prefers being with, keeping house gorgeous, playing really creative games and I feel crap. He earns way more than me otherwise we both agreed we’d have been happier with roles reversed but I just feel like this petulant child who did so much for months on so little sleep taking care of the kids, house, food, laundry, getting myself back on track, him often working late and being bit hopeless and turns out all along was just that I find that stuff hard, he’s way better at it than anyone realised, finds it a breeze and I just feel like a spare part suddenly. Not sure what my point is here. Sorry. Just bit cross and low and can’t put finger on why but think I thought I’d done quite a good job in tricky circumstances and now feel like maybe I didn’t but also wish he’d been more actual help when was needed but maybe I stopped him being.