To parent the way I want to parent?

[imamearcat]

I'm bloody fed up of people telling me how to parent my kids. My ILs have a lot of opinions, that I'm not strict enough, my mum has just been telling me they are spoiled..

My kids ate actually beautifully behaved... grrrrrr!!

*loud

Kids are 2 and 4.

Those sound like pretty normal rules to be honest, for when DC are in a home that isn’t theirs or isn’t childproofed or when out I n public where their behaviour impacts on others. For their own safety and to be courteous to people around them. I wouldn’t call insisting on no running and touching stuff “strict”. I have friends who I sadly no longer invite to my flat with their DC because their behaviour, whilst probably just boisterous kid behaviour which their parents have become immune to, just isn’t fine in my flat with lots of glass and sharp edges and expensive stuff I don’t particularly want damaged.

In summary, they’re your DC and your parenting decisions to make. But if other usually reasonable and sensible people who is like comment on behaviour and if parenting decisions, it’s sometimes worth considering whether they might have a point. When you live with your own small children full time, you do tend to let their bad habits wash over you as normal.

Maybe they are just a bit feral then!

@imamearcat
More like don't touch, don't run, don't be load, only allowed certain toys/food in certain areas etc.

Are these your rules or their rules? They seem like perfectly acceptable rules in certain circumstances.
I was in a restaurant last night and a family party had 2 toddlers who they let run around the place, screaming loudly. Certainly two of the rules above should have been implemented 🤣

I guess people have different standards don't they. So my rules are what I feel is appropriate but then maybe someone else might think it isn't appropriate.

So in the restaurant example f course I would expect my children to sit and be quiet but I think outdoor play they can be as loud as they want, MIL still thinks they should be quiet.

They definitely aren't wild / naughty kids but MIL has a beautiful home so does tend to have a lot of dos and don't.

And so would I if I was your MiL.

Don't you make sure your kids' behaviour (as far as possible) is suitable for the environment they're in? So Park v indoors, your house v MiL's house?

Well yeah like I've just said. But doesn't mean to say I have to be like that in my own house?

Totally respect that people have the right to whatever rules they want in their own house etc. But I wish you hey would respect my rules, or lack of.

im sure some people get a secret thrill out of watching parents handing out heavy discipline, and they expect people to perform discipline for them if your child is out of line in their opinion. Even if your strategy is talking about it or dealing with it in private.