To ask your best/worst decisions between late 30s to early 40s?

[MeltdownMaiden]

Going thru somewhat of a protracted mid life or career crisis, whatever.
Busy but mostly happy family life with DH and DCs age 5 and 6.
I think your wisdom could help, whether it is about work, kids, DP, family life, health habits, hobby, general philosophy or anything really. Would you have changed anything, what you would tell yourself in late 30s?

Stopped drinking at 35
Met my partner at 35
Bought a property at 38 - first one after the one I sold during a messy divorce at 32
Had a child at 39
Got fit as a fiddle after having my child
Went PT at 40 in a career I love and feel better for it!

It's my own life finally started making sense to me in my mid 30s

Mistake: actually my ex-DH and i were civil to each other at the time of sale of our marital home. Had we waited few years (which I think we could have done) we'd both make an absolute killing on it. It was a flat in an up and coming area of London (zone 1 to boot) which got a lot of funding in the intervening years. We'd have doubled the money easily. Instead we sold it at the bottom of the market.

My best decision was leaving where I’d worked for 15 years for a different organisation/role. The move meant a massive commute and a drop in wages but had a lot of potential where in truth I’d stagnated at my old place. Only stayed a few months and then moved again, big promotion and now have my dream job. Wouldn’t have got it without the initial move/gamble.

Became a gym bunny when I hit 40yo. Lost two stone, got fit. Love exercise now and have made some great friends at the gym so social life took off as well.

Worst decision was leaving my previous job. It seemed right at the time. My current job is destroying my mental health and I’m close to throwing away the career I’ve spent the past 20 years building. I’m trapped though: I’m the main earner.

Best decision was taking up exercise at the age of 37. Had I not, given my circumstances, I genuinely think I’d have had a nervous breakdown.

Great Post pink arsed

At 41 had my third child after a 14 year age gap!
Best decision I ever made, he’s an absolute joy to us all

Discovering a life outside my DH and DS. I took up quilting about a year ago and it's changed my life - I now no longer spend my evenings sat in front of the telly waiting for bed or for hubby to come home from work/pool. My DS is nearly 9 and becoming more independent too. I now make quilts and do a bit of knitting in my spare time plus I go out once a week. DH and I are still close but I don't feel like I depend on him for everything. In two years time our loan will be paid off and we will have a bit more disposable income which will be great. I also supported DH to change career and take up a degree which he is halfway through. Feel like we are coming to the end of a very dark tunnel work and finance wise and we will still be young enough to enjoy it when it's all done - we might even move house

Big mistake: stopped exercising after baby at 36. Very hard to get back to it, put on weight. Now late 40s and health floundering, so much harder to get fit and menopause looming!

Change of career at 40
Cutting a self absorbed, selfish, Me!Me!Me! ‘Friend’ out of my life.
Finding meditation at 45 and learning to not stress over the little stuff - FINALLY!- the stuff doesn’t matter but my reaction to things, and being a stress head, was making me ill.

This is a really interesting thread. Met my DH at 35 - had two children at 40 and 43 (very lucky to have them). We both left very stressful jobs and moved to the SW. We never overstretched ourselves with property (still can't decide if this was a good or bad move- would love a bigger house). However the mortgage has now been paid off for the last 20yrs and in a way this allowed us to quit the stressful jobs and have a more peaceful life. My advice to anyone in their middle 30's early 40's is to get fitter and don't carry extra weight. Otherwise once you hit the menopause you will find it really difficult to drop weight and are more likely to gain - go into the menopause as fit and healthy as you can.

Not quite late 30s but I've taken up running...find it great for my mental health and means despite stuffing my face all summer I maintained my weight.

On a major diet overhaul too as I've let myself go since having the kids.

Moved abroad mid 30's for the first time, whole family learned a new language and learned to live in it.
Moved back to UK then left again. Acquired an understanding that the world really is your oyster if you are prepared to travel. ( also understand nothing comes without cost)
Really kicked off traveling with dc, which I love.
Been accepted to a really prestigious university that I would never have had the nerve to apply to when I was younger.(but haven't started yet so don't know how it will go)
But have got much less fit and really need to focus on that more. I am aware I'm not able to eat what ever I like take no exercise and just stay thin anymore in my mid forties.

Wow thanks everyone for sharing. Lots of happy and valuable points. I know health is common sense but it def helps to drum in. Keep them coming!

@Fivechatchacha i keep flitting between making peace with work, as you did, and throwing in the towel and pursuing something else (which may or may not pay off, only time can tell) lots to think about

Started running 2/3 times a week at 39. Bloody amazing. Not on the roads, on the country paths behind out house. Ipod going, alone, fresh air. I feel so much better and wish I'd started years ago. Plus dh has to look after the 4 kids while I am gone. Before I was all about the child care. I needed to carve out some me time.

Started attending a writing group. Started taking my writing seriously. Got a laptop (just mine), got a writing bureau (just mine). Its great, whole thing folds away when not in use. Age 38. Its the dream people. Follow the dream!

Leaving London 12 months ago and moving home.

We are now 40 minutes from my parents instead of 24 hours, and mortgage free.

But our best decision was in our early 30s buying a house in a grotty part of SW London everyone told us not to touch and hanging on for 7 years when I wanted to sell and move home sooner.

Brilliant thread. Good timing too as I'm mid 40s and thinking about going back to work now my youngest is at secondary school so I'm reading with interest.

I changed my job from private to public sector when I was 37 and have never looked back. I absolutely love it and have loads of flexibility which means I can do the school drop offs and work from home 2 days a week - I really love it. I am doing a professional qualification this year and hope to do a masters next year in an area I am interested in but would never have been in the position to have specialised in before. Finances remain a bit rocky but now kids are teens there seems to be a bit of light at the end of the tunnel and we are continuing to pay down debts, save and plan for the future. Had some great family holidays in recent years now kids are older and hope to go to America and Canada travelling next year. Did swither over a 3rd child several times but decided against due to health concerns, my age, the age gap, time and financial constraints. Toughest things recently that couldn't have been forseen have been juggling looking after my elderly parents and coping with my mums Alzhiemers & the impact on the family of Mum going into a care home x