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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think an LGBT group is entitled to call themselves that?

36 replies

DrSeuss · 13/09/2019 19:22

A bit of background first. I work at a school in the South East which has a plaque from Stonewall in the entrance hall, proclaiming our affiliation with them as well as a large, prominent display about LGBT issues (posters say things like, "Some people are gay. Get over it.") I have always been proud of this aspect of our school. I am not myself part of that community but have a number of friends who are and would consider myself a Straight Ally.

A colleague who is herself a lesbian wishes to start a group for the LGBT students. Given that we have 1500 kids, it would be reasonable to expect that 100 or so are other than heterosexual. Not a militant group, just a group for fellowship, support and a little fundraising for the local charity which does sterling work in helping LGBT youth in our area. No intention of demanding anything, just to provide support, help those in need of guidance and generally let people know that it's just fine to be whoever you are.

So far so good. However, she has been told that she cannot use the initials LGBT in the group name, as it implies that some people are not welcome. I have no idea where this came from as I, a straight female, have already been told that I will be welcome and that my support will be valued. It's a group for the support and fellowship of LGBT youth but it can't say so in its name? AIBU to find this bizarre?

My friend is now beginning to question the whole set up. A plaque from Stonewall- is that just for show? (The Healthy Eating School ones are bollocks, that much we knew, but we did think the Stonewall one meant something.) She is afraid that, if she lets the name thing slide, other things will be expected to slide. Would the fundraising for a very reputable local charity be allowed? Would the display of a rainbow flag? Would we be allowed, for example, to make rainbow themed cakes as a fundraiser? Who knows.

We both feel so disappointed that the whole LGBT thing seems to be largely for show. What can you even call a group for LGBT youth without calling it a group for LGBT youth? I suggested the Kenneth Williams Memorial Group in a flippant moment, (not as flippant as all that, really. He lead a tortured existence being unable to be who he really was in public.) or Turing in a more serious moment. DH suggests The Group That Dare Not Speak its Name!

Not entirely sure what my AIBU is anymore. Its worth doing the group, isn't it? We can do good even if the face of such fuckwittage? And they are unreasonable to not let my friend call the group what it is?

OP posts:
Number3or4 · 13/09/2019 19:51

Is it because they want a name that is not as obvious, so that the children who are not ready to come out or are questioning their sexuality and want to talk with an adult about the consequences of coming out might not want to be seen accessing your freind services. If it is vague it can be used as a temporary cover until they are ready.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 13/09/2019 19:51

LGBT is very much for the T these days - or the Demi- pan- special-specials... the L is being pushed aside. It’s not about sexual preference, but the whole gender alphabet soup.

Stonewall is no longer fit for purpose and has been railroaded by the Toxic T and the lure of Big Business.

Schools should not be in bed with these people - their are hostile to women and lesbians in particular.

BolloxtoGender · 13/09/2019 19:52

Yabu

It should be called LGB group to reflect sex, sexuality and sexual orientation.

The TQA++ etc just muddies the waters with gender roles, expressions, cross dressing, kinks and fetishes IMO.

slipperywhensparticus · 13/09/2019 20:00

My daughter is at uni they just call it pride apparently there is an I as they have recently adopted intersex too I did ask if they wanted to be adopted apparently everyone does "so what is the point in having separate groups then?" I get side eye for that remark Grin

DrSeuss · 13/09/2019 20:00

OK,we don't get a lot of kinks and fetishes in the average day at an 11-16 school. We do however get kids who may or not be gay being bullied by people who think they are and who have an issue with this. That was more the line we were going for.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 13/09/2019 20:01

Your school should not be affiliated with stonewall. They care nothing for lesbians, women in general and are openly hostile to them. It is a very narrow demographic.

You’ve had some good suggestions. LGBT is shit as a description as it’s all about the T.

CountFosco · 13/09/2019 20:03

Pride Group seems a good suggestion but I'd assume if the school has a Stonewall plaque then, as BogglesGoggles suggests it might be because they want it LGBTQA+. In which case I'd be tempted to tell them to fuck off and you want to support lesbian girls and you're going to call it Sapphists.

Michelleoftheresistance · 13/09/2019 20:04

….what? Are the chess club not allowed to name themselves the chess club because it excludes people? The rugby team, are they allowed a name? What about year groups, that's pretty excluding too?

Seriously, LGBT+ covers it, how on earth does that exclude anyone? There is a point at which all this hair splitting and politically correct care starts to be a barrier, not a positive.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 13/09/2019 20:22

I love the suggestion from @Gormless to call it "Rainbow Network". Covers all bases and makes it clear what it's about.

Choufleur · 13/09/2019 20:25

Stick a + at the end of LGBT+. At work we use LGBTPQ+

maddening · 13/09/2019 20:46

[school name] pride would be a good name

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