Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New boyfriend Sti

19 replies

Kokopops · 13/09/2019 19:20

I've named changed because this is extremely embarrassing and outing if connected to my other posts.

Basically the man I was dating exclusively for 6 months asked me to be in relationship a month ago.

Since then, I have had what I thought was thrust, treated it and then had sex. First time we used protection but second time he said he didn't want to (I know stupid)

Anyway today hes rang me to say he thinks he has a yeast infection. For the last two days I've also had symptoms of thrush again - mainly burning when weeing and also cottage cheese like discharge

Im mortified.

I had an sti check after my last sexual partner and nothing came back - can things like that be delayed?

I feel sick that this has happened. He said not to worry and nothings changed he's being really nice about it. But I feel so dirty and just like I want to run away. I feel so cheap even though its not a "proper" sti, unless of course it is. I feel like there's no way back from this. Has anyone got any advice on how to handle this I don't want to lose him

OP posts:
EAIOU · 13/09/2019 19:23

Thrush isnt an STI. It's pretty common and poor you. I've had it before (when not sexually active then in late pregnancy and it's horrible!!).

It would do you good to go get tested and use condoms in the meantime.

IHaveBrilloHair · 13/09/2019 19:26

Thrush isn't an STI, though can be passed on.
You really should get checked for everything and I'm sure you've learned your lesson, but condoms in future.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 13/09/2019 19:39

As the others have said, thrush is NOT an STI, it’s a very very common yeast infection and it is easily passed between couples when having sex. There’s certainly no shame in having thrush.

I will just say though, you knew you had thrush, you should have told your partner. How long after “treatment” did you have sex?

ThirstyGhost · 13/09/2019 20:14

Please don't feel mortified. Thrush is incredibly common and it isn't an STI. It's more like getting a urinary tract infection or something like that - think of it that way. You wouldn't feel embarrassed about that. One thing is that if you are getting recurrent thrush your doctor will advise you to get a check for diabetes just to rule it out as a cause. This was something I wasn't aware of until a pharmacist told me after I'd had recurrent bouts of thrush. Wasn't having sex at all over that period. I was just very run down (no diabetes but was tested at the time).

Waveysnail · 13/09/2019 20:50

Woman get thrush that's life. My husband kept reinfecting me (he was symptom free) so we both just took fluconazole once tablet - job done

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 13/09/2019 20:52

As others have said thrush isn't an STI, you can get it from wearing tight / synthetic clothing etc.

Get a pessary to use at the same time as the cream, it's much quicker if you have a bad case.

The only way it could be a different STI is if he has given it to you.

It's a bit embarrassing but I always think with these things if you know someone well enough to have sex then you should be able to manage a slightly awkward conversation

HollowTalk · 13/09/2019 20:54

I would bet my life that he gave it to you. He's used to not using a condom, isn't he? He's got an infection and passed it on.

IHaveBrilloHair · 13/09/2019 20:56

The cream won't get rid of it, you need the pessary or the tablet, and you can just get it because, even if you don't wear tight or synthetic clothing.

Heartburn888 · 13/09/2019 21:33

Loads of women get thrush from things unrelated to sex. I use to get it from eating too much sugar in my diet. I also frequently got bv and I don’t know how as I wasn’t sexually active at the time.

I wouldn’t worry.

StCharlotte · 13/09/2019 21:37

Oh you poor love.

First time we used protection but second time he said he didn't want to (I know stupid)

Well let's hope he does now. For both your sakes.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 13/09/2019 21:40

I'm not really getting the stigma of "proper" STIs anyway. They are a risk of having sex, in much the same way as catching a cold is a risk of getting on the bus. They are caught by one person from another, and they are generally much less hassle than a cold.

Unless everyone only ever has sex with one person in their life, there will be STIs, and catching them is not some sort of judgment from god.

toadabode · 13/09/2019 21:42

Thrush isn't an sti. It happens. Though it does sound as though a visit to the sexual health clinic for you both might be a good idea if you're going to continue without protection

GladAllOver · 13/09/2019 21:44

Since you have had unprotected sex with him and he has probably done so with others, it would be advisable for you to have a thorough STI check. And insist he has one too.

mrspotatohed · 13/09/2019 21:46

Thrush is so awful. I get it after antibiotics. The combined pill and cream work wonders

Grambler · 13/09/2019 21:56

You don't know it is thrush. Get thee to a clinic.

IceQueenCometh · 13/09/2019 22:14

Echoing other PPs, thrush is NOT a sti. It's an imbalance in your internal flora. I always get it if I take antibiotics. Physical trauma to your genitals can also cause an episode. Like riding a bike. Or having sex. You are perfectly normal OP, just get yourself down to Boots and have a quiet word with your pharmacist. See if there's a leaflet you can give to your DP. He will need to treat himself as well. You can get a capsule that works very well.

Then, get yourselves checked out if you are going to have unprotected sex.

over50andfab · 13/09/2019 22:24

Hollow Talk laying blame and passing judgement is not helpful. As said, thrush is not an STI, though can be triggered/passed on through sex, and although it can be unpleasant can happen for many reasons - when pregnant, or run down, say with a cold, or taking antibiotics. The important thing is to get it checked out if you haven’t had it before - at least have a chat to a pharmacist to get the right thing to help it, ie pessary and cream.

More info here: www.nhs.uk/conditions/thrush-in-men-and-women/

OP, it’s great that you got yourself tested after your last relationship, but has your current partner tested for all STIs? Regardless, for peace of mind have you both considered getting tested before continuing with ditching the condoms? There is nothing wrong with doing this whatsoever - it is being responsible for yourselves.

AtSea1979 · 13/09/2019 22:28

I would not be happy at all if I was him when you knew you had thrush and did it anyway but he was very stupid and childish too and suggested not using condoms. I wouldn’t be with someone like that.

19lottie82 · 13/09/2019 22:33

You both need to go to a clinic and get tested. If / once you both get the all clear for STIs. After that if you would like to stop using condoms, you need to make sure that you establish that neither of you will be sleeping with other people, then choose an alternative form of contraception.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page