To ask for advice on 12 year old dds awful diet

[greenplants]

She's always been fussy but I've been pretty relaxed hoping she'll grow out of it. I tend not to panda to her - she gets whatever i cook for tea. This week she has barely eaten 3 of our evening meals probably had a mouthful then refused the rest. I've not really commented as I have tried to get her to eat in the past and she if she refuses it is completely impossible to make her eat. If she likes something she will eat well. She has a multivitamin but she is getting a bit spotty. Just not sure how to convince her to eat something even if it isn't her favourite.

Would she be interested in finding meals she likes, helping shop for them and being involved in making them? My 13 year old loves doing this and has a few meals now that she could make on her own. She enjoys doing it and seeing the end result? X

How much cooking is she involved in? Do you look at recipes together then cook them together?

What is it she’s eating?

Sorry i should have said she likes cooking and will cook a few meals that she likes. However i have tried getting her to cook other things and even when she has chosen the recipe and cooked it if she doesn't like it there is no way she will eat it. There are quite a few meals she enjoys but I don't want to go down the road of cooking them all the time or i feel my other less fussy dc miss out.

She needs to have a balanced diet. Multi vitamins are not the best long term solution. Can you set up a food contract? Based on things she likes you could offer something for a new food tried, or a whole new meal eaten.
Try to find out if she's scared of the food, or if it's the texture she dislikes... Etc it may help find a solution.

Also is she losing weight? Periods stopped, feeling cold? Tired?

What does she eat?

If she has a few meals which she likes and will always eat, that is your answer. You say you don't want to go down the path of always making her the same things, but for some kids that is what you do.

My DS ate nothing but plain slices of meat and boiled potatoes, or spagetti bolognese, from when he was old enough to say "no! " until he was an adult. He is very healthy and strong now , and eats anything his GF cooks for him - go figure.

Batch cook lots of the meals she likes with her as you've said there are some meals she likes. Then just let her have one of the homemade ready meals if you are eating something she doesn't like. Other than that, if she likes them, fresh fruit, salad vegetables, soups, nuts, Greek yoghurt, cheese, cold meats, good quality bread can do for other meals.

@ShippingNews you've no idea how comforting it is to read that. It's all very well to advise that a child / teen needs a balanced diet (no shit, really?!) but trying to implement that with a determinedly fussy eater is nigh on impossible.

Perhaps speak to a proper dermatologist or dietician about her spots. She may be are more likely to try if she knows how it impacts her skin

If she is 13 the spots could just be acne?