Would this bother you or am I being 16?

[Fakehair83]

Been friends for years now in our 30s kids etc. We are part of a larger group of friends but the two of us have always been the closest. I have asked her for the last two months about meeting up for coffee or calling to hers for a catch up and she fobs me off. Today perfect example I said about calling she said she was busy and wouldn’t be in then she said in our group chat that she had had a lovely day pottering about the house. And then another friend in the group told me the two of them are going to a hobby tonight (that they only started last week) it’s so strange. I haven’t done anything we text as normal but when it comes to meeting she always has an excuse. I don’t know if I should say something or just leave it she doesn’t like being pulled up on things she does though.

You could just ask if everything’s OK as you haven’t seen them as much as usual.

It does sound like she's pulling back a bit.

I would stop making the effort, stop inviting and see what happens.

Has anything with your life changed recently? New partner, baby or job? Trying to think of reasons as to why she'd start backing off, if she has issues with any of those things.

If you're close to her, then she won't mind you asking, surely. Just send her a message privately and say if you've done something, you'd rather she told you what, so you could put it right.

FWIW, when I had depression, I stopped wanting to socialise at all, we're all fighting our own battles, there's a chance she's going through something you're not aware of, and you might not be the problem at all.

It’s just very strange she messaged me giving off about this particular friend she is going out with tonight a few weeks ago so their new closeness has shocked me a little when she won’t meet me at all

She sounds a bit two faced tbh.

I’d stop trying to make plans with her. She can’t value your friendship as much as you do if you have to do all the leg work