How often do you chat to your DP over the phone

[positiveposy]

I've been with my DP for a year and we're not quite in a long distance relationship but it's too far just to pop over for dinner/a cuppa; we probably spend 1-2 nights together a week.

We will often chat to each other if we're both driving/fancy a chat. But also he likes to call me first thing in the morning, around lunch time, sometime in the afternoon and then in the evening. When we get off the phone he usually ends it with 'message me', with us messaging throughout the day - this is his ideal level of communication. Mine on the other hand is a quick message in the morning, if something outside of the day to day is going on such as a meeting he was dreading/interview/he's been left to babysit a toddler I'd message him to see how it's gone or viser versa and then maybe a longer phone call in the evening (if I don't have plans or something unexpected has came up).

I just hate messaging and chatting on the phone and he knows this. I especially hate that it feels like a chore: Go to the supermarket/Cook dinner/Do dishes/Call DP/Fold Laundry etc etc.

He has compromised a lot and no longer calls me/expects to speak to me when he knows i'm around friends. It is difficult as we don't see each other enough and we are genuinely best friends; he doesn't have phone catch ups with his friends as it's not the done thing apparently but sees them regularly. I know he's very sociable and doesn't like his own company whereas i'm an introvert and like my own company.

Well we have been together 6 years and live together. However we will usually call each other for about 15 minutes after work, we both have a long commute home so will chat about the day until my DP gets home (works slightly closer to home). When DP gets home, i'm not good enough and the dog gets all the attention lol.

A lot of people will say his level of contact is a red flag OP, so brace yourself.

Hardly ever, even before moving in together. I would hate that amount of calling and messaging, what on earth do you talk about?? It sounds quite controlling honestly

Never, text throughout the day though (DH at work, im home with the kids so often sending him adorable snippets no-one but a parent would care about 😄 no way I could remember them for when he gets home)

Never. We message a bit during the day but it depends how busy we both are as to whether you get a response.

We have been married for a bazillion years though.

@RedPanda2 I'm honestly not sure what we talk about - it's fairly awkward most of the time 'just got out of a two hour meeting.. i'm just going to the shop.. what time are your friends coming over.. I hope there's not bad traffic'. Completely pointless in my opinion if anything it highlights how mundane every day life is. To be fair if we're both stuck in traffic/passing time it can be fun but just for the sake of it it's pointless.

Firstly, there's NO right or wrong when it comes to levels of contact. The main thing is whether you are both happy, and if not, whether you can meet in the middle. If you can't, it's going to be impossible, as you'll just get annoyed with how much he wants to talk to you.

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and live together, and up until we moved in together we were talking ALL the time. If we couldn't phone due to one of us being busy, we would still text regularly through the day.

Now we live together, it's different, of course. I work from home, and he's currently off work with a bad back (his job involves heavy lifting) so we're both in the house most of the day. I will be working at my computer and he will play games on his, but we will still text a little as we're in different rooms ha ha. Not much though, as we can literally just walk to each other if we want to talk. We both have hobbies that we travel to, and will usually phone for a chat on the way home.

When he is at work, he phones me on some of his breaks, and then on the journey home.

So we're quite communication heavy. We have interests outside of our relationship, and plenty of friends.. it's just we're literally best friends, and whenever anything happens we want to tell the other haha. We get excited about sharing our news at the end of the day!

Yep, lots of phone talking here even though we live together. When we didn't, it would be contained to a mammoth talk before bed, but we moved in pretty quick.

Now we live together, at the very least I'll get a driving home phone call, which is normally 15-20 minutes. I'm on maternity at the minute, waiting for the little one to arrive, and I get at least 3 phone calls a day.

He calls you four times a day?!

I'd hate that. I know everyone is different but wow. I really hate that 'what r u up to' type chat though. Its boring.

I don’t do phone calls unless it’s urgent so DH basically knows if I’m calling, it’s an emergency and he must answer. I’ve always hated phone calls. I remember when DH and I first got together he always wanted us to talk more on the phone but I hated it. I prefer texting because it’s more non-commital.

He sounds fairly suffocating.

Before we lived together, if it was a day we were seeing each other it'd be a good morning text then nothing until the evening (unless we had something funny/interesting to say).
If we weren't seeing each other we'd text on the evening, or FaceTime for half an hour to chat about our day.

Everyday and I see him everyday we live in each others pockets

We don't really speak on the phone unless it's an emergency. DH doesn't like phonecalls, I don't mind them but I'd get annoyed if he was always ringing me.

I text him when I get to work to say I'm there safely, and when I'm leaving so he knows roughly when I'll be home. We text if we're going somewhere without the other to say we've got there (unless it's just to the shop or to get petrol or something) and when we're leaving. Sometimes text in the day, but when you get a reply depends on how busy the other is. We've been together 15 years and lived together for 12 though, so maybe the novelty has worn off a bit!

Not once in 17 years

We're either at work, together, or travelling home

The right amount is exactly how much you'd like there to be. We live together for 13 years now and have 3 kids. I txt during the day sometimes if there's something funny or I need something. He always rings me for a few minutes during his lunch. Sometimes I'm busy with the baby so I txt back later. Some days we go for lunch Some days we don't hear much from each other until we get home. Call if you want to hear his voice and don't if you don't.

Don’t think I’ve spoken to dh once in the phone in the last ten years. Not even when he’s away for a couple of weeks with work. I’m too busy for chats with no purpose and if I need to tell him something I either tell him when I see him or send a text.

Never!

If one of us rings the other we know it must be quite urgent as it’s so rare. We will sometimes send a text at lunchtime if we get a chance and sometimes at the end of work if our ETA is going to change.

Generally we just save all our chat until we see each other in the evening.

If he’s working away we’ll make sure we text and he may FaceTime the kids but we still don’t ring each other.

I hate talking on the phone, I avoid it as much as possible. He doesn’t mind but he knows I don’t like it and is fine with that.

DH works away a lot. He rings once a day, when he has finished and check in. Can be very short, or maybe 5 minutes, hardly ever any longer.

When he is home, we text about shopping for tea. Then we talk to each other for half an hour or so before settling n for the night! The day jobs don't come into the evening with us!

I had an ex like this. It felt like the whole day was one constant (very dull) phone conversation. I've been with DH for 10 years and have probably spoken to him on the phone less than 5 times (and I'm pretty sure that they were all times when one of us had lost the other in a supermarket). Much more compatible...

We don’t do chatting over the phone
He will ring me if he has to let me know something or ask a question

We live together and don't really talk on the one, but chat in breaks on WhatsApp. I don't really like talking on the phone anyway

When I call my dh, he panics and assumes someone has died or I’ve been in a car accident. It’s that infrequent. We were long distance for 2 years when we were dating (different countries). We messaged and emailed and visited each other, but the only time he called me was the time he got stuck in immigration coming to visit me and nearly deported!

I don't live with my boyfriend. We've been together 2.5 years and we see each other 2/3 days a week. We don't sleep over at each others houses due to elderly parents and grown up children living at home. We go away for a night or two about once a month.

We text every day. Often it's just a couple of silly/smutty messages. Sometimes we have longer text chats.

We don't often phone one another. Generally it's if one of us is having a shit day, I've realised, and want to chat to the other one about it.

We chat plenty when we're together. We've been on holiday together for a week or so a few times and don't run out of things to talk about

I would HATE it if I was expected to phone at set times each day. It's the worst of both worlds, surely. I'd rather be either with him and enjoying his company or not with him and doing my own thing.