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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp snoring

26 replies

Heartburn888 · 12/09/2019 23:01

Not my first post on here about my dp snoring but he’s driving me mental!!! So bloody loud it actually infuriates me like from calm to raging mad when I hear it!

No matter how much u prod him, shove him or ask him to turn over whatever position he falls in he snores and it’s the long sounding deep grunt. I fucking hate it. Refusing to sleep in the kids bed now or on the sofa coz I’m TIRED of doing this and can still hear him 3 floors down.

Please please please can someone tell me they’ve had some success with snore strips or them black chin sling type of things I’ve seen on amazon! Or anything else? I’ve actually just placed a pillow over his face to muffle the snores to no avail.

I can’t cope. Sleep deprived and fed up!

OP posts:
1066vegan · 12/09/2019 23:04

Is he overweight? My dp lost a few stone and his horrendous snoring has completely stopped.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 12/09/2019 23:07

Watching with interest.
I sleep in ds’s old cabin bed to get away from the noise of my DH but he can still wake me from a different room.
He has a mouthguard and a belt thing with a ball on the back so he doesn’t sleep on his back but neither work.
He did lose a bit of weight and things improved a bit but I can’t remember the last time he did any exercise so the weight has gone back on......
I get so angry at him, it seems so selfish that he’s not willing to make the changes to let me sleep in my own bed.

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 12/09/2019 23:08

No I wouldn’t say overweight. He has had A chest infection recently which is probably the reason for it being so bad. Can’t cope!!! Feel like cutting my lobes off and shoving them in my ears! Extreme but I’m desperate 😂😂😂

OP posts:
Ginfordinner · 12/09/2019 23:09

He needs to see his GP.

Whoops75 · 12/09/2019 23:15

My dh is normal weight and healthy but snores like a drill.
He had a sleep study and they said he had a soft pallet. Nothing bad health wise but very noisy. We have decided on separate bedrooms. We’re not loving it and often go to cuddle for a bit during the night our relationship is better.
I used to hate him and now I miss him!!
We’re far more tactile in the evening and our sex life is still the same.

Good luck op
It’s tough Sad

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 12/09/2019 23:15

He’s just asked me if he wants me to sleep him the kids bed which I know he can’t fit Into. And st least if I’m next to him I can shove him rather than hear him grunting all night long and have to go up a flight of stairs to ask him to turn over.

@Muchtoomuchtodo it’s so bad isn’t it. He wakes me up every night. Did I mention I’m 7 month pregnant! Haha! Ironic thing is he said I was spring the other night and he actually attempted to hold my nose shut. I mean what the hell. Dare me to do it to him now 😂

@Ginfordinner he’s been to his gp about his chest infection and had a course of amoxicillin. He is a smoker too but is trying to stop for him his patches today so hoping once he’s tackled that it eases off!

OP posts:
Knoxinbox · 12/09/2019 23:15

Sleep apnoea? Loose weight? Make him sleep on the sofa until he takes practical steps to sort his problem

Knoxinbox · 12/09/2019 23:17

Ah well a smoker he need to pack that in.

Especially with you being pregnant it massively increases the risks of SIDS!

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 12/09/2019 23:17

@Whoops75 how do you get in for a sleep study is it something referred by the gp?

It’s bad on a normal night but even worse when he’s turned facing me! Once had a nightmare I was being chased by a grunting zombie, but nope it was dp snoring 2cm away from my ear.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heartburn888 · 12/09/2019 23:19

@Knoxinbox does it? I wasn’t aware I’ll have to read up on it whilst I’m being kept awake. Thanks for the info

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 12/09/2019 23:19

@Heartburn888 poor you. I’ve put up with DH through 2 pregnancies, it’s now the kids are older and i’ve finally got the chance to sleep well again that i’ve had enough!

I’d definitely hold his nose shut - just for long enough to wake him!

Whoops75 · 12/09/2019 23:20

GP refereed him

I was so sure he had apnea because he grunts and puffs out his mouth.
Nope he’s a skinny man with a saggy palletAngryAngry
He had his tonsils out as a child, he’s 50 now so maybe that has something to do with it.

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 12/09/2019 23:26

We are due to move in a couple of weeks and have just ordered ourselves a beautiful new bed and mattress. Have a feeling I won’t be seeing much of it! 😣😣 so wish I could post my recording on here. He will find it hilarious in the morning when he hears it. Sounds like he’s snorting phlegm up his windpipe.

Funny thing is tomorrow he will say all he could hear last night was me huffing and puffing. How can he not hear himself or wake himself up at least?

Did you guys try any snoring strips or anything? Seen them anti snore pillows but not even going to waste my money.

OP posts:
Knoxinbox · 12/09/2019 23:29

He basically finds it hilarious that his heavily pregnant wife is kept awake by his loud snoring, he sounds charming

Seriously he shouldn’t sleep in your new bedroom on your new bed. Keep it smoke free for you and your baby

He needs to sleep elsewhere u TIL he has stopped smoking and sorted out his snoring problem (or at least tried to)

Selfish man

Notajogger · 12/09/2019 23:30

Once had a nightmare I was being chased by a grunting zombie, but nope it was dp snoring 2cm away from my ear.

This made me chuckle!

I can empathise. Tackling the smoking definitely seems like the first plan of attack.

dowehaveastalker · 12/09/2019 23:31

Sorry no help but nothing we’ve tried works. 😭

cyrilted · 12/09/2019 23:33

I wouldn't waste money on anti snore pillows, tried here and didn't work at all! No tips just massive amounts of sympathy as I'm going through the same!

StinkyWizleteets · 12/09/2019 23:35

I’m lying listening to my OH grunt like a pig having sex with a tractor. I get a full on misophonic rage at even his breathing these days. He had a mouth guard for hi snoring but he hated it (panicked wearing it in his. Sleep) so it was conveniently eaten by the dog. He’s awaiting a new one. I hope it works. He’s neither overweight not a snorer.

I make my OH sleep on the sofa occasionally so I get at least one nights sleep. Week. It’s not breastfeeding the toddler that keeps me awake it’s my oh’s Snoring after the wee one has returned to sleep.

You have my sympathies OP but it shouldn’t be you suffering.

Whoops75 · 12/09/2019 23:38

I never once left the bed because of dh snoring. Once I had enough I nudged him and he picked up his pillow and went to the sofa.

I think you need to think about putting sleep first. You need sleep especially when pregnant.

Do you have a spare room or comfortable sofa?

Original poster
Heartburn888 · 12/09/2019 23:45

He is so loud I can hear him from the living room and my logic is to be next to him to nudge rather than be up and down the stairs telling him to turn over.

Yes that’s very true about needing sleep I’m going to put this to him tomorrow and he will have to squeeze into the kids bed or on the sofa. I’m bloody shattered!

He’s got them niqutin patches but they just feel off his body and today was day 1 of patches but he went and bought some fags on his break 🤬 going to persevere though and he needs to take it seriously. I said to him today if my snoring was as bad as his I don’t think we would have been together for as long as we have as I don’t think he could cope with it!

OP posts:
HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 13/09/2019 00:04

None of those gadgets worked for us at all - special pillows, breathing strips, tennis balls on the back of pyjamas, we tried everything. Then DH went on a sleep study, found he had very severe sleep apnoea and got a CPAP machine. That coupled with earplugs has saved our marriage. He doesn’t really snore at all any more!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 13/09/2019 00:08

Tell him to do the patches AND the gum or spray. And read the Allan Carr book. It took me a few tries but I finally quit successfully 2 years ago & was the best thing I ever did. Is he doing the NHS Stop Smoking program? (Does it still exist?)

Cryalot2 · 13/09/2019 00:10

Get him to gp . They will refer to sleep clinic . Its straightforward and involvesa few appointments at the beginning.
Dh wears a mask and is linked to a machine at nights. ( he did not want the nasal tubes so went for mask ) I wear a hearing aid as am almost deaf without it and when I take it out at night if he has not got machine on , he sounds dreadful .
I feel your pain , but get him to see gp Flowers

Gingerivy · 13/09/2019 00:13

Discussed this with a friend, and her advice was "if you can hear the snoring, you're not holding the pillow down hard enough." Wink

(not, of course, that I would ever seriously suggest that to anyone Grin Halo)

morrisseysquif · 13/09/2019 00:19

DP hs used various sprays which have worked, and a mouth guard, which also worked. What he won't do is use anything with consistency which drives me wild.

I use these -

the best earplugs