Here goes.
My brother who is in his late 30’s and a great man has recently introduced me to his girlfriend,he has confided in me he intends on proposing to her on her birthday in October. My brother and I are very close due to family circumastances. He is a widow having lost his first wife 3 years ago. This is his first girlfriend since and they have been dating for 4 months. They met abroad as they were both working, hence this was the first time I met her. I thought she looked a tad familiar when I said hello and i racked my brains as to why I thought she looked vaguely familiar. She seemed fine. Polite and I was happy that my DB seemed happy after years of sadness. While saying good bye I suddenly got this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. She was a girl who bullied me for 18 months at school. She literally made my life hell. I moved schools and had not seen her since she was about 15. Our school had a huge catchment area and she lived on the other side of where we did so never saw her again. The awful feelings I got resurfaced. I mentioned it to my DH and we both agreed as she seem really nice and pleasant not to rock the boat as it was a long time ago. Last night we met up again. During our conversation my brother mentioned schools. He is 8 years younger than me so didn’t go to the school she did and had no Idea about us. She has told him she went to a totally different school. He then said we were the same age so would have been in the same school year. I just said yes and left it there. I went to the toilet and as I was leaving she was stood there she said to me. She knew I knew who she was from the past and I would i not to say anything as she loved him. I was about to say it’s in the past and let’s leave it there. But she then said if you do say something you will regret it !!!! I will move home away and cut you out of his life. !! I was mortified. I felt shaky all like I did as a kid again. Don’t know how I kept my composure to go back to my DH. She came out all smiles cuddling my brother.
Do I tell him. I love my DB so much and I can’t bear him to be hurt but I worry she will pull him away and I will lose him.
AIBU?
Bullied at sch by DB GF and she is still the same. Do I tell ?
Highfivemum · 12/09/2019 14:04
Well done for telling him, it was definitely the right thing to do and sounds like he is taking it seriously. 
Try not to feel upset, it’s so much better that he knows the truth.
Well done. That can’t have been easy. The ball’s in his court now.
Well done. You do sound really shaken (I did something not that different recently, told a thing I'd held on to, and was also shaken, but there was no person involved in the present to make it worse so it was not like yours, not as bad) be very kind to yourself and take it easy all of your trauma has been triggered and you need to give it time. Feet up and rest. You have a great excuse - being pregnant - use it!
Oh my, what are the chances of him meeting her in another country?! I am so sorry you're going through this OP, it's bad enough to have to re-live your past, but to put you in this position with your DB is tormenting. You did the right thing by telling him, and by the sounds of it he is a good man who will be able to see through any manipulation tactics she tries to put on him. She will kick up a fuss now, but just remember - YOU have done nothing wrong! It is HER that bullied you when you were kids, and it is HER that threatened you as an adult when you were willing to put it behind you.
Well done, that can't have been easy. He sounds like a gem and I'm glad he took it seriously.
It will be painful for a while and so sad since he has already been through so much but its better in the long run that he knows what she's like.
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