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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel completely desperate about the fact that my daughter’s attacker is unlikely to be charged.

7 replies

Nightoutasap · 12/09/2019 12:37

I’ve posted about this before, but having seen the news that there has been a significant reduction in the number of cases referred to the CPS for rape, and also that the CPS are taking fewer cases to court, just makes me feel physically sick in light of what my teenage daughter went through.
We have been waiting almost 18 months for a decision as to whether the case will be referred to the CPS. My daughter now lives abroad in order to keep her away from her attacker, who was known to her, and thankfully she is doing well. However, every so often he lets her know she’s still on his mind (using various methods, can’t be too outing) and it just sets us all back every time it happens. Obviously the police are told each time contact is made, but sometimes I feel like they literally don’t care.
I completely understand that allegations of this nature must be investigated thoroughly. As the mother of two sons, I worry about false allegations being made against them. However, I believe my daughter, I know what happened, and I just can’t bear the fact that this monster who lives around the corner is more than likely going to completely get away with ripping my family apart.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 12/09/2019 12:38

Eighteen months!!! That's disgraceful. Why is it taking them so long?

Nightoutasap · 12/09/2019 12:41

There is a lot of evidence to consider apparently. For example, it takes several months to examine evidence on a mobile phone as it has to be done via specialist teams. I’ve repeatedly been told that the time frame for an allegation of rape is not unusual.

OP posts:
ShiftHappens · 12/09/2019 12:46

so sorry you are going through this. Flowers

It's awful but we are now living in a country were rape is actually legal. one will almost certainly get away with it.

I really don't understand that there isn't more uproar about it.

FannyGall0ps · 12/09/2019 12:50

I’m furious on your behalf.
I’ve no advice, but just wanted to send my support to you and your daughter Flowers

Nightoutasap · 12/09/2019 13:09

Thanks everyone! I take solace in the fact that dd is actually handling it better than me!

OP posts:
m0therofdragons · 12/09/2019 14:58

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's why I never told my parents about my rapist as I knew it would eat away at them and he was very senior so nobody would have believed me. It still eats away at me but at least it's no affecting others. It's so unfair and I wish I had the answers.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 12/09/2019 15:13

I'm so sorry for your daughter OP.

It is a difficult crime to convict as there generally just isn't much evidence given it often happens in private and without signs of violence so its often a he said vs she said situation which is difficult to prove beyond all reasonable doubt.

However there is clearly not enough support for victims and 18 months is clearly far too long and it's disgusting that he is still able to harass her. It's sickening that men do this so often and get away with it. I can see why people just try and deal with it themselves rather than involve the police as it sometimes seems to make the ordeal worse and it shouldn't be like that

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