I was BU, wasn't I?

[DrVonPatak]

Oh, dear, I think I messed it up.

DH and my 3rd wedding anniversary is coming up. As well, I am starting a new project next week and we have a little tradition of getting each other a little something when either of us starts a new project at work, sort of support like.

Anyway, he thought he'd put the two together and... get me a black faux leather (but a VERY good imitation) knapsack with exposed brass zippers.

Problem is:

1. I'm a total environmentalist, militant recyclers, shoot plastic on sight Thunberg supporter.
2. I'm an aspie and leather/faux leather is one of my no-nos. Literally creeps me out. Think canvas shoes, bags, belts, you name it.
3. The bag is hideous and I have nothing to wear it with.
4. I'm a minimalist, hate being bogged down with things and if it must be something, a £5 voucher for some local experience is more than welcome and he knows it.

I tried to plaster a smile on my face when I opened the package and be gracious, but I think he figured it out because he kept banging on about how I said I wanted a new black bag. True, I did say that, but while holding my usual type canvas one. Anyhow, at some point later he said he'll return it, then.

My "Can you?" was a liiitle too enthusiastic and now he's in a huff about it. I did apologise for my reaction, but I do detest the thing.

AIBU? What can I do to make amends?

From one aspie to another, I think you were very restrained.

I'm baffled as to why he bought you something made of faux leather when he has actually seen you have such an extreme reaction.

That's the sort of thing that even not particularly close friends would know about someone.

AIBU? What can I do to make amends?

YANBU.
And why should it ne YOU making amends?

Your husband does know you, doesn't he? So he might have worked out, given your 4 very reasonable & clear points in OP, that HE is the one who has fucked up here?

& now he is sulking, just to make it clear that him not considering even 1 of your 4 points IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

Fucksake. Men. So glad I don't run one.

See this is why I always want everyone to pick the presents I get them and I also want to pick the presents other people get me. I don't want them to be disappointed and I don't want to waste their hard earned money by not using the gift they picked for me. I don't know why people take such offence at it. If I have to pick something for someone and they don't like it, I compleunderstand and I'm never upset that they would want to return it

EveLevine the OP says herself it’s difficult to tell from looking at the bag that it’s faux leather. Maybe DH didn’t realise? Of course, then that doesn’t excuse buying it knowing her other feelings. However, he was clearly thinking ‘black bag’ and bought you one as a gift instead of something random. That isn’t a horrible thing. OP, if you talk about it with your DH, be gentle.

Well if you're an environmentalist to that degree, you probably don't want 'things' that you don't need. Maybe suggest to him that you both don't buy things for anniversaries?

Pretend you like it. Put it at the back of the cupboard. When he has forgotten about it, take it to the charity shop.