The worst way to be woken up? Lighthearted

[MustardScreams]

Mine so far is:

“Mummy I’ve done a big poo!”

After you’ve put your toddler to bed for the first time with no nappy on because you’re sure they’ll be fine because you had a big talk the night before about no poo or wee in bed. Argh. Not fine!

Eugh yes and 'mum dogsname has been sick'

Continuing the theme - cat peeing on your bed. Which is why we have a duvet protector!

If I take a glass of water to bed, my cat drinks from it. He’s been known to knock it over and wake me up with a soaking.
I use a water bottle now.

3.30 in the morning, hearing the yuckyuckyuck noise which signals that the dog is about to be sick on the carpet. The dog is no longer allowed to sleep in our room, this is one of many reasons why.

Child running through to your room with hands full of vomit...

Dying bloody vole on the pillow (and active happy cat who is very proud of bring you breakfast)

What about half waking up in the night, turning over to snuggle your cat who shares your pillow (yes I'm soft with my cats) and her lifting her tail to fart directly in your face?

We recently took the stair gate off my daughters bedroom. She usually stays in her bed in the mornings but today she crept into ours and woke me up by pouring her cup of cold water over my bum and legs.

To be fair, I think she was just trying to climb in and it wasn't deliberate but still not much fun!

When DS2 was small he went through a bit of an Omen phase and would stand staring at me while I slept. Waking up to a maniacally-grinning toddler who's been stood watching you sleep for 24 minutes then announces "Mummy I love you so much I want to wear your skin" isn't nearly as much fun as it sounds.

"Babe, 'dog' we're dog sitting for 'his bloody mother' has had a poo in the bathroom, will you let them out while I let them out for a wee?"

This was 3am. Baby has just gone back to sleep. Bathroom floor was covered in diarrhoea. DP can't deal with a little dog poo, let alone that shit explosion.

*will you clean up while I let them out...

Husband waking me up when it's time for me to get up with the dog..... who sticks her cold wet snout on my bare arse to wake me. Then when I move it out of her way, tries licking my face off.
To be fair, he does bring me a wake up coffee too.

Or rather, husband waking me up with the dog when it's time for me to get up.
I don't get up with the dog, it's firmly downstairs when I'm sleeping.

Cat putting his paw in my mouth because he's hungry.

@FudgeBrownie2019
Mine used to do that, I would wake with a fright at them standing in silence staring at me just inches from my face.
Like bloody Chucky and his missus.

Being woken my a deeply unpleasant smell, you try to ignore it, hoping that DH has done a noxious fart, but it doesn’t dissipate, if anything it’s growing stronger. So finally you switch on the bedside light, to find the dog has had a bought of diarrhoea all over your bedroom floor.

Or the toddler who thinks it’ll be hilarious to climb up onto the end of the bedstead and launch herself full bodily onto you from there. Like a WWF wrestler from the ropes of the ring onto an opponent.

"Mummy I love you so much I want to wear your skin"

😂 Love this.

DD1 as a baby, in her cot next to my bed. Hauled herself upright, loudly cleared her throat, waking me up, just in time to see her launch a massive projectile vomit into the middle of my duvet, before shaking her head and settling back to sleep, with not a drop of sick in her cot!

Was a while ago, but my worst one was when co-sleeping DS vomited on my pillow at about 5am, and I only woke up when it started to run into my ear
Literally the most disgusting feeling ever.

When DS was a toddler, so when he was standing by our bed, his eyes would be level with mine:

DS: Mummy, I’ve done a poo............it’s a whopper.

I woke up to a headless rat on my pillow. Oh yes cat you're very clever and ever so proud.

Worst ever was the cat depositing a live mouse under the covers at 3am (after I expressed displeasure at the dead one at 2am)

I gave up and slept in the spare room with the door shut after that.

Cat puking on the bed/carpet/rug. Never on the washable hard floor.

Child puking all over the place.

Worst thus far (sure to be bettered) is 'mum there's lots of smoke' (toast was in the toaster funnily). I have never gotten out of bed so quickly.

My child shouting to me that she'd just been sick. Unfortunately it was from the top bunk and had splattered everywhere and I mean everywhere🤢