Friend's child

[MrPickles73]

We are friendly with another family who has a child 18 months older than our eldest. We had dinner together on Sunday and all had a good time.
Monday we met up for something else and at the end my eldest burst into tears which is uncharecteristic of her (she is 9). The other girl is 18 months older. I asked what was up and in front of the other mother my child said the other child was being really unkind. I was shocked and didn't know what to say.the other mother made her kid hug my kid and then we went home. On the way home my child gave me her version of events. The other kid had bragged about something she had made up and my child pointed out this were untrue. The other child took umbridge and then was unkind to her, saying she was stupid, didn't want to be her friend etc.
Last night I spoke to the other mother as I value her friendship. I told her what my child had said and why she was upset. She didn't seem to see that her child was in the wrong (losing her rag with my child because she'd been called out for making something up) and just said they needed their heads knocking together and perhaps my child had been feeling unwell and that was why she was do sensitive..
AIBU to be pissed off? Or did I do the wrong thing to talk to her about it?. If it were the other way I would want to know if my child was being unkind.
Later on the child's step father came over to apologise. The child has form for being unkind to other children...

[dowehaveastalker]

what did you expect her to say OP - apologise to you on behalf of her child? Apologise to your child? Tell you her child was a little horrible girl and she should not have done that to your child? You're massively over-reacting and so is your child - she's might be learning from you. They are both so young - silly tiffs happen. I have lost count of the number of times my daughter has come home and told me X Y Z have been unkind, i dont go telling their parents! CHILL OUT.

[Booyahkasha]

Never get involved! Kids have to learn, and sort things for themselves! Do you want to be "that mum"?!

[Harls1969]

Sorry OP, massive overreaction. They're kids, this is what kids do. You comfort your child and move on - because children are fickle little sods who fall out and are unpleasant to each other and then make up like nothing ever happened. Adults usually don't need to get involved unless they also want to fall out about it.

[Aridane]

I am embarrassed for you, IP

[Playmytune]

KIds can be horrible, but please don’t fall out over them.
I had a massive row with someone (wasn’t friendly with them) over their horrible child being a complete bully to my son who was 18 months younger. She even threatened to thump me, to which I told her to go ahead as it would be worth it to get her locked up!!

Fast forward 10 years and guess who his best friend is??

[winniestone37]

The thing is your child gave her one version and the other girl gave her version, maybe it's perspective, maybe they're both right , who knows but I would certainly take it as such. The thing is no doubt your kid is lovely but she isn't perfect and has much capability of being a cow as the next kid. When your kids are older you realise how ridiculous these dramas are, stop getting involved and definitely stop jepordising your own friendships over it. It's actually ridiculous. Say they're both responsible but they're kids and leave it at that. You're the adult.

[pollymere]

Sounds like other kid is socially immature or expects your dd to look up to her due to being older (maybe even at Secondary school now?) Let it go, but be on high alert for it happening again.

[Piglet89]

Quite a lot of only child bashing from you on this thread, OP. Not cool.

[FullOfDoom]

Brace yourself for secondary school!

Best get used to it now...

[IsobelRae23]

They are 9, it will be your daughter next that says something. Build a bridge and get over it.

[RememberImAWomble]

Any squabble isn't nice but part of growing up is learning to deal with them.

Best thing you -can do is teach and demonstrate to your DD resilience and to brush off other peoples attitudes.

Otherwise she'll be bursting into tears over every little thing.

This.

[Deadringer]

You seem to want it acknowledged by your friend that her child was in the wrong. That's very unlikely to happen and if you pursue this she will think you are bonkers. It's a small thing in the scheme of things, let it go, if her dd is unpleasant to yours again maybe meet up in future without DC.

[ThatssomebadhatHarry]

Maybe your daughter is too sensitive due to your over dramatising every single incident like this one.

[FelicisNox]

YABU.

Kids exaggerate and your daughter embarrassed your friends DD by calling her out so she retaliated. End of. You're totally overreacting and are making a mountain out of a mole hill.

It's a non argument. If you think this is bad, you wait until the teenage years... this is NOTHING.

Let it go and stop demonising your friends daughter. The step father has apologised which is beyond generous.

Move on before you make a fool of yourself.

[Teddybear45]

This is a non-issue and not something I would expect a 9 yo to be over-dramatising. I think you need to examine your dd’s behaviour overall - does she have many friends if she gets upset so frequently? How are her social interactions overall?

[gill1960]

Bad parenting and bad friendship values by your friend .

She just abused you and your daughter.

Widen your friendship circle to include happy honest people who don't lie or abuse you.

Dump her straightaway and tell her that you can't stand lies by her