Friend's child

[MrPickles73]

We are friendly with another family who has a child 18 months older than our eldest. We had dinner together on Sunday and all had a good time.
Monday we met up for something else and at the end my eldest burst into tears which is uncharecteristic of her (she is 9). The other girl is 18 months older. I asked what was up and in front of the other mother my child said the other child was being really unkind. I was shocked and didn't know what to say.the other mother made her kid hug my kid and then we went home. On the way home my child gave me her version of events. The other kid had bragged about something she had made up and my child pointed out this were untrue. The other child took umbridge and then was unkind to her, saying she was stupid, didn't want to be her friend etc.
Last night I spoke to the other mother as I value her friendship. I told her what my child had said and why she was upset. She didn't seem to see that her child was in the wrong (losing her rag with my child because she'd been called out for making something up) and just said they needed their heads knocking together and perhaps my child had been feeling unwell and that was why she was do sensitive..
AIBU to be pissed off? Or did I do the wrong thing to talk to her about it?. If it were the other way I would want to know if my child was being unkind.
Later on the child's step father came over to apologise. The child has form for being unkind to other children...

[Icantthinkofanynewnames]

Also I think you’re being hypocritical saying that your friend treats her daughter ‘like a faberge egg’ when your friends reaction seems to have been normal and relaxed whereas yours was very OTT and precious.

[MrPickles73]

Candyflossking this is the way forward.

[Lumene]

Let it go, sounds like normal childhood squabbles.

[AE18]

Also I think you’re being hypocritical saying that your friend treats her daughter ‘like a faberge egg’ when your friends reaction seems to have been normal and relaxed whereas yours was very OTT and precious.

This.

[StroppyWoman]

The best thing you can do for your child is to express confidence she can sort this out herself.
It’s a minor squabble between children - your daughter was either manipulative to burst into tears in front of the other parent, is very sensitive to criticism or has inherited drama llama tendencies from you. (Or perhaps was just overtired and run down that day).

You were unreasonable to bring it up again with your friend.

Give the girls some space and let them sort it between them.

[SmiledWithTheRisingSun]

You're a grown up stop blowing it up out of proportion. Kids fall out and they make up. Move on woman!

[SuzieQ10]

Yes YABU, sounds like you've gone off of one side of the story and made a big deal out of a silly falling out. They are kids and this kind of thing is normal.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

YABU and a bit bonkers OP.

[Clangus00]

YABVU.
Girls squabbled and your daughter cried!
So now the other child is being “hostile”!?
No, you’re being far too sensitive (so is your daughter btw).
Let it go.

[x2boys]

They are kids, some kids lie and big themselves up.,but you harvests one sidebar the story ,may be the girls don't get on,which is fine just because the parents are friends doesn't mean the kids have to be .

[Branleuse]

if you are going to confront the other parent every time your child has a squabble or gets upset with a friend, you are in for an absolute treat through adolescence.

[justmyview]

I think this sounds fairly typical behaviour for children of that age. Best to keep it in perspective

[LetItGoToRuin]

I think some people are being a bit harsh to OP. It's not worth falling out with friends over though.

I agree with Sweetbabycheezits about what the behaviour is and how to deal with it.

[x2boys]

You have heard one side ,auto correct

[Clangus00]

Are the girls even friends, or is it a case of "I'm friends with your mummy, so you must be my child's friend"?

[Nonmerci]

They’re 9/10 year old girls who had a petty fall out, pretty standard behaviour at that age. One was called out on a lie so called the other one stupid and it ended in tears. I agree with the other girl’s Mum, it’s just a head bashing together moment. Nothing serious, I think you’re being melodramatic.

[purpleboy]

Are you concerned about your daughters reaction to this? It feels ott to me? Maybe you could work on building her confidence up, so she is better equipt to handle these situations in future, especially if she wants to call other kids out for their behaviour.

[Juog]

The other child was being completely horrible, her mother knows exactly what she's like and is just trying to smooth things over because after all you are friends and she wants to stay friends, don't bring it up again but keep an eye out, the two girls might never be busom buddies and your friendship with her mum might fizzle out anyway.

[m00rfarm]

I cannot imagine how the other mother treats her daughter if you think that you are not treating your own daughter like a "faberge egg" ... just chill out. For the sake of calm relations between the families, just tell your daughter to get on with it. There was no bullying, no physical contact - just a few words. Do you home school her? If not, then she hears far worse at school I am sure. I think she did it to get the other girl into trouble - I really cannot see why she was crying otherwise. Or maybe she get it from you? You were still referring to the incident later in the day when the other mother had already moved on.

[obligations]

Her step father actually apologised - move on. If your dd is only friends with the other girl because you're friends with the mum then don't force the friendship, just spend time w your friend w/o your dcs. Don't spend so much time on the teeny and normal sounding dramatics of tweeny spats. And don't make mean comments about how the other mum treats her daughter.

[PonderingPanda]

Any squabble isn't nice but part of growing up is learning to deal with them.

Best thing you can do is teach and demonstrate to your DD resilience and to brush off other peoples attitudes.

Otherwise she'll be bursting into tears over every little thing.

[breaconoptimist]

Yes echoing the chorus of let it go, in answer to the op, it’s best not to give too much airtime to petty spats but to focus on relaxation, resilience, letting things go and not writing off friends based on one unpleasant interaction, possible both kids were a bit off that day. I wish I’d played down some of the friendship dramas earlier, with hindsight as they naturally overreact and you need to counteract that with mature rationality.

[Beautiful3]

I would let it go.

[hazandduck]

Your posts sound really judgey of your friend. What exactly is wrong with being an only child? Some of the nicest, least spoiled, most diplomatic people I know (including my DH!) are only children. I know plenty of precious, spoiled people who weren’t only children.

I think YABU.

[WorraLiberty]

The issue for us as a family as it means we can't all hang out together if her child is going to be hostile to ours.

Oh for goodness sake, have you been taking drama pills?

They're kids, just let it go.