MIL complains to DP I don't see her enough

[HobNobsAndBroomsticks]

My MIL has always been quite needy, she is a nice woman but wants a lot of contact from DP (multiple phone calls a day and would see him every day if she could). We have two DC, 2 and 4 and live about a half an hour drive from MIL but she is often in our town as her sister lives here.

I'm not sure if I'm not accommodating enough or if she is manipulating DP to make me look bad. For example, this week she asked me if she could come and visit the DC yesterday. I already had plans so suggested the day after (today) or tomorrow as I am free all day. She replied saying maybe and she would see, she didn't give a reason. DP has now told me she has complained to him about not seeing the children enough and he's asked me to call her tomorrow to invite her over. I explained I already had spoken to her on the phone doing just that and he seemed to think I must have been vague etc as she was so clear about feeling like she doesn't see her grandchildren enough. I know I very clearly invited her and gave her two options and she wouldn't commit to either.

I don't know what to do as this happens a lot- she very regularly says to DP that she is missing the grandchildren but when I ask her to visit or offer to visit her she is non commital.

Should I be pushing to see her more or is she doing this on purpose? I'm very confused.

Your title says she said she’s complaining that she doesn’t see you enough but it’s the dc she wants to see?

Could she and your dh do something every weekend with the dc? Like go to the park on a Sunday morning.

I would be telling your husband that HE is now responsible for making any and all arrangements with his mother. You give him a day and time and he can set it up with her. I would refuse to play this ridiculous passive-aggressive phone tag/no response game with her.

Text her rather than ring then you have proof

Or let him be responsible for their relationship.

She is having a mini tantrum because you didn't agree to what she wanted...

Sounds like she wants you to beg to visit her. Annoying. Suggest DP sorts out a visit.

As above, make this DPs problem, not yours.

Agree with @Aquamarine1029

She's attention seeking. You've already offered.

And multiple phone calls a day???????

Sounds a bit like my MIL.

She was going on and on about coming to see grandkids, and how she didn’t see them enough and how she wanted to come around regularly. So I suggested she come round on set day(s) of her choosing so I’d know in advance to keep those days clear for the dc.
She actually sounded affronted about it and insisted she couldn’t as she’s so busy. I told her that was fine and she was welcome anytime.

Now I never ever offer for her to come over to see dc, I leave it to DP. Even when she hints, I suggest to DP to ask her.

I’m not getting involved in the politics.

I do love her dearly. And she is very welcome but I’m not having passive aggressive accusations thrown at me.

'If it wasn't clear when I said it, you'd better ring and tell her yourself'.

You’re very confused?

Have you not asked her why she feels like this when you’ve asked her to visit and see the children?