Long long post, more of a WWYD...
(Names have been changed!)
A close friend of mine, Beth (childhood pals and now live in the same village, have DC similar age) has fairly serious mental health issues. Mainly OCD and anxiety. isn’t currently seeing a dr or any sort of therapy sessions. Beth’s mental health has deteriorated since she lost her DF a couple of years ago. She cannot manage day to day care of the children without the help of her DM, Jenny, who is in her 70s. Things like doing the washing (Beth can’t touch dirty clothes) do her own cleaning, take the DC to a park where dogs may be exercised, can’t open the windows to her house, can’t drive near or through any countryside. Beth can’t have anyone in her house apart from her DM, I’ve had her over for coffee and cake and the DCs to play but wouldn’t be ‘allowed’ into hers. The DC have to be bathed every day after school, all their clothes washed and tumble dried hot.
Beth’s DCs are quite young, 5 and 6, and I noticed on a recent play date seems to be developing OCD tendencies of their own. Doesn’t want to play in (admittedly, bit scruffy) garden, won’t eat mixed foods and is a frequent hand washer. The youngest is just 5 and still
in nappies. I’ve tried to raise this with my friend, offered help and babysitting if she wanted to visit the GP with or without her DM, offered to go with her etc. She brushes it off and won’t discuss the impact it’s starting to have on DC. My own DC and DH find her really hard to have around, theres a tense atmosphere, and most of the time her DM either comes with her or drops off/picks up so it’s an odd dynamic.
I’ve become really concerned about Beth’s DC and her own wellness, but since I mentioned chatting to the GP she’s sort of ghosted me out and doesn’t respond to texts. I still see Beth’s sister (our DC are at same clubs) and have quietly spoken to her about my concerns, the family share them but don’t know what to do, any discussion with the DM is shut down and she minimises how bad it really is. The sister and brothers are fed up of Beth and the DM doing everything together which means their own DC can’t ever see Granny and so on.
I’m not really sure what I’m asking. Would it be unreasonable to mention my concerns to class teachers or SS, or overstepping? I know Beth is a loving mother and dotes in her DCs but I’m worried now for the children’s mental health and unsure what to do.
Thanks for getting through that!