"Ooh, like Madeleine McCann!"

[MacVities]

My name is Madeleine. Known as Maddie. I'm a lot older than Madeleine McCann. Born long before Madeleine McCann.

But for years and years, she is mentioned to me so frequently upon people finding out my name. From drunk lads in night clubs grabbing me and shouting "we found her!!" When I tell them my name (even a few sober people have done this!) people again grabbing me and looking in my eyes to see if there's that mark, then laughing as if they are so hilarious and original. It was even mentioned by my sonographer at my 20 week scan remarking "oh Madeleine. Beautiful name. Like that missing child"

I had it again this morning when viewing a nursery to see if I wanted to register my child with them. They asked for our full details and said "ooh, surname isn't McCann, is it?"

Do people seriously think this is appropriate? The first few times I was a bit but I feel like it's been a decade of countless people making these comments and jokes thinking it's ok, or even remotely funny. I got really irritated by it this morning and DH said I'm being overly sensitive. AIBU?

[FuriousCheekyFucker]

You should try being called Adolf.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Madeleine reminds me of the Church of the Madeleine and other Mary Magdalen-related places in France.

Yes, you need a suitable riposte that makes you look as if you don't care but that people should shut up about it. Dunno what!

I don't think you're being over-sensitive. Ignore your DH on this. But I also think you should let it go re the nursery if this is the one that suits you best - people sometimes say things without thinking them through and this person should be allowed another chance.

[KurriKurri]

It is very irritating - I get it with my name these days (my name is Kate 'Ooh like the duchess' - I'm sixty I was called Kate long before her, and it's a very common name).
But commenting on your name with reference to a missing child is beyond tasteless, and I would start commenting on it. Look astonished whne they say it and say 'that's in very bad taste' or something like that - it's an idiot thing to say.

[ZapADi]

@:benandhollyagaaain
the few people I have asked have said they wouldn't have thought of it

Sorry, but I think they are probably saying that to make you feel better, in reality the name is so associated with the poor girl that is what most people associate with it.

[elliex1]

Can relate as my maiden name was McCann. Can not count the amount of times people have brought it up. So disrespectful and inappropriate too. Also... we’re individuals, stop saying that as the only thing about us . It still happens to my sister who is Maggie McCann... and she was born quite a few years before Madeleine.

Changed my surname when I got married, biggest relief of my life.

You are 100% NBU. Not only is it fucking annoying and repetitive, it’s rlly distasteful.

[Orangecake123]

Hearing the name, always makes me think of her.But I wouldn't make jokes about it.

YANBU.

[Lweji]

My cousin is a Madeleine of similar age to Madeleine McCann and she's never received comments like that.

How do you know?

Anyway, I think it's probably people who never hear the name except regarding MM. Still, dicks.

[angieloumc]

My DD is 15 and also a M Mc. She has heterochromia so has a splash of brown in her blue eyes and is blonde. The amount of time people (usually boys of her own she) say "we've found Madeleine McCann" about her is ridiculous when she comes up in the news.

[twoshedsjackson]

You do have my sympathy; I suffer the irritation of a surname with associations, and it grates every year when people not only make the silly joke, but have that silly self-satisfied half grin which tells you that they think they are being original! And there are no sinister associations, just people being tiresome, so I can't imagine what it must be like to be associated with the awfulness of an abducted child.
Had you thought of acting deadpan, and asking them to explain their "merry joshing" as if you had never heard of the case? Quiz them into excruciating detail until they melt into a puddle of embarrassment, then just say that, if they were making a joke, you feel it was in rather bad taste.
On a lighter note, have you seen the episode of Father Ted where the actor Richard Wilson appears, and Father Ted and Father Dougall decide that it would be hilarious to accost him with "I don't belieeeve it!" (because nobody would have made that connection before)?
I don't condone his reaction, but I can sympathise, and you might find it cathartic!
As PP has said, I would let the nursery know how insensitive you felt it was to draw that analogy, especially as this was a professional, moreover a professional charged with the care of young children.

[1forAll74]

Yes, I can understand your annoyance about everything. It's just the thing that Some people will do, without any thought of it being inappropriate. I assume it's because the missing girl MM's name was heard and talked about for all this time,that it just sticks in your mind when you hear the name Madeleine.

[Boysey45]

I remember reading something about a supermarket worker who was called something like Mark Shipman and everyone at work started calling him Harold!
I'd just let it go over your head OP, people are just stupid and pathetic.

[MildThing]

WTF is wrong with people.

And as for people in professional positions saying stuff like 'your surname isn't ...' if a member of my staff said something like that, actually anything about anyone;s surname, I would be talking to them about it. Unprofessional and inappropriate.

But your thread title made me flinch. What if MM's family, the family friends, Mums of her siblings friends...are MNers?

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

With the nursery and sonographer I would have given them a very pointed stare and asked why they thought that was an appropriate thing to say. Hopefully that would've made them stop and realise what a fucking terrible thing that was to say.

[LenoVentura]

I have the same, unusual name as a young woman who died in very high profile, scandalous circumstances many years ago, but long after I was born. I often get asked if I'm named after her . I mean, why would someone do that?

[managedmis]

You must be fed up to the back teeth.

I work with a bloke called Joffrey, I've never referred to GOT once, he must be so sick of it all etc.

[benandhollyagaaain]

@ZapADi - I actually did a post on here under names topic to ask and people generally agreed that it would not be associated with McCann this many years on. I obviously know it would be for some people though

[TellerTuesday4EVA]

People are generally tits & do honestly think they're the first to think of the connection!! A joke about a missing child is never suitable.

I have a cousin called Jolene who gets a Dolly Parton comment practically every day... she tends to just go 'oh yeah I haven't heard that before' with an eye roll.

I also know a Peppa who's almost 40 so was around a good 20 years before Peppa Pig, the poor girl!

[managedmis]

Not being funny, but WTF about the 'is your surname McCann' comment? Is she that stupid, or just has an appalling sense of humour?

Either way.....

[MildThing]

MNHQ I sympathise with the OP, but this thread title looks terrible at the top of 'Trending' on the talk page :(

[Tp93]

I know how you feel in the sense that my last name and my Dh first name are the same but his first name is spelt differently.
Been together for 10 years yet everytime we meet someone new and tell them our names we get "your Dh can change his last name to your last name how funny would that be" followed by lots of laughter, as if they are original 🙄 I've just been getting more and more sarcastic as the years go by.

[UnimpressorOfCocks]

That's awful - surely any arsehole would realise that is not appropriate.

And for a NURSERY to make a joke like that. I'm appalled. It would put me off the nursery.

YANBU.

[IScreamForIceCreams]

I used to work with a girl called Emma Bunton. Endless "tell you what I want, what I really really want".

[HopeMumsnet]

@MildThing

MNHQ I sympathise with the OP, but this thread title looks terrible at the top of 'Trending' on the talk page :(

Many thanks for flagging that, we have fixed it now. It might take a little while to refresh but it's off now.

[ZapADi]

@benandhollyagaaain
generally agreed that it would not be associated with McCann this many years on.
Of course it would, and you know they would.
I obviously know it would be for some people though
I think most tbh.

Whether people will say it to your face or not, they will think it. Although probably a fleeting thought.

[Sagradafamiliar]

I went to pick up DS1 from nursery once and the key person absentmindedly shouted to her colleague, 'pass me the sheet, 'infamous serial killer''s mum is here!' I'd never before thought anything of the fact that he shares a first name with the man in question and in the many years since no one else has mentioned it. I pulled him out of that nursery as the staff had clearly been taking the piss and got so used to it that it slipped out while I was stood in front of her.